ROALD DAHL. Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

‘Come on!’ cried all the Oompa-Loompas together.

‘Come on, old friends, and do what’s right!

Come make your lives as bright as bright!

Just take a dose of this delight!

This heavenly magic dynamite!

You can’t go wrong, you must go right!

IT’S WILLY WONKA’S WONKA-VITE!’

This was too much for the old people in the bed. All three of them made a dive for the bottle. Six scrawny hands shot out and started scrabbling to get hold of it. Grandma Georgina got it. She gave a grunt of triumph and unscrewed the cap and tipped all the little brilliant yellow pills on to the blanket on her lap. She cupped her hands around them so the others couldn’t reach out and snatch them. ‘All right!’ she shouted excitedly, counting them quickly. ‘There’s twelve pills here! That’s six for me and three each for you!’

‘Hey! That’s not fair!’ shrilled Grandma Josephine. ‘It’s four for each of us!’

‘Four each is right!’ cried Grandpa George. ‘Come on, Georgina! Hand over my share!’

Mr Wonka shrugged his shoulders and turned his back on them. He hated squabbles. He hated it when people got grabby and selfish. Let them fight it out among themselves, he thought, and he walked away. He walked slowly down toward the chocolate waterfall. It was an unhappy truth, he told himself, that nearly all people in the world behave badly when there is something really big at stake. Money is the thing they fight over most. But these pills were bigger than money. They could do things for you no amount of money could ever do. They were worth at least a million dollars a pill. He knew plenty of very rich men who would gladly pay that much in order to become twenty years younger. He reached the riverbank below the waterfall and he stood there gazing at the great gush and splash of melted chocolate pouring down. He had hoped the noise of the waterfall would drown the arguing voices of the old grandparents in the bed, but it didn’t. Even with his back to them, he still couldn’t help hearing most of what they were saying.

‘I got them first!’ Grandma Georgina was shouting. ‘So they’re mine to share out!’

‘Oh no they’re not!’ shrilled Grandma Josephine. ‘He didn’t give them to you! He gave them to all three of us!’

‘I want my share and no one’s going to stop me getting it!’ yelled Grandpa George. ‘Come on, woman! Hand them over!’

Then came the voice of Grandpa Joe, cutting in sternly through the rabble. ‘Stop this at once!’ he ordered. ‘All three of you! You’re behaving like savages!’

‘You keep out of this, Joe, and mind your own business!’ said Grandma Josephine.

‘Now you be careful, Josie,’ Grandpa Joe went on. ‘Four is too many for one person anyway.’

‘That’s right,’ Charlie said. ‘Please, Grandma, why don’t you just take one or two each like Mr Wonka said, and that’ll leave some for Grandpa Joe and Mother and Father.’

‘Yes!’ cried Mr Bucket. ‘I’d love one!’

‘Oh, wouldn’t it be wonderful,’ said Mrs Bucket, ‘to be twenty years younger and not have aching feet any more! Couldn’t you spare just one for each of us, Mother?’

‘I’m afraid not,’ said Grandma Georgina. ‘These pills are specially reserved for us three in the bed. Mr Wonka said so!’

‘I want my share!’ shouted Grandpa George. ‘Come on, Georgina! Dish them out!’

‘Hey, let me go, you brute!’ cried Grandma Georgina. ‘You’re hurting me! Ow! . . . ALL RIGHT! All right! I’ll share them out if you’ll stop twisting my arm . . . That’s better . . . Here’s four for Josephine . . . and four for George . . . and four for me.’

‘Good,’ said Grandpa George. ‘Now who’s got some water?’

Without looking around, Mr Wonka knew that three Oompa-Loompas would be running to the bed with three glasses of water. Oompa-Loompas were always ready to help. There was a brief pause, and then:

‘Well, here goes!’ cried Grandpa George.

‘Young and beautiful, that’s what I’ll be!’ shouted Grandma Josephine.

‘Farewell, old age!’ cried Grandma Georgina. ‘All together now! Down the hatch!’

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