ROALD DAHL. Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

‘What in the world are they doing?’ shouted the President of the United States, staring at the screen.

‘Looks like some kind of a war-dance, Mr President,’ answered astronaut Showler over the radio.

‘You mean they’re Red Indians!’ said the President.

‘I didn’t say that, sir.’

‘Oh, yes you did, Showler.’

‘Oh, no I didn’t, Mr President.’

‘Silence!’ said the President. ‘You’re muddling me up.’

Back in the Elevator, Mr Wonka was saying, ‘Please! Please! Do stop flying about! Keep still everybody so we can get on with the docking!’

‘You miserable old mackerel!’ said Grandma Georgina, sailing past him. ‘Just when we start having a bit of fun, you want to stop it!’

‘Look at me, everybody!’ shouted Grandma Josephine. ‘I’m flying! I’m a golden eagle!’

‘I can fly faster than any of you!’ cried Grandpa George, whizzing round and round, his nightgown billowing out behind him like the tail of a parrot.

‘Grandpa George!’ cried Charlie. ‘Do please calm down. If we don’t hurry, those astronauts will get there before us. Don’t you want to see inside the Space Hotel, any of you?’

‘Out of my way!’ shouted Grandma Georgina, blowing herself back and forth. ‘I’m a jumbo jet!’

‘You’re a balmy old bat!’ said Mr Wonka.

In the end, the old people grew tired and out of breath, and everyone settled quietly into a floating position.

‘All set, Charlie and Grandpa Joe, sir?’ said Mr Wonka.

‘All set, Mr Wonka,’ Charlie answered, hovering near the ceiling.

‘I’ll give the orders,’ said Mr Wonka. ‘I’m the pilot. Don’t fire your rockets until I tell you. And don’t forget who is who. Charlie, you’re port. Grandpa Joe, you’re starboard.’ Mr Wonka pressed one of his own two buttons and immediately booster rockets began firing underneath the Great Glass Elevator. The Elevator leaped forward, but swerved violently to the right. ‘Hard a-port!’ yelled Mr Wonka. Charlie pressed his button. His rockets fired. The Elevator swung back into line. ‘Steady as you go!’ cried Mr Wonka. ‘Starboard ten degrees! . . . Steady! . . . Steady! . . . Keep her there! . . .’

Soon they were hovering directly underneath the tail of the enormous silvery Space Hotel. ‘You see that little square door with the bolts on it?’ said Mr Wonka. ‘That’s the docking entrance. It won’t be long now . . . Port a fraction! . . . Steady! . . . Starboard a bit! . . . Good . . . Good . . . Easy does it . . . we’re nearly there . . .’

To Charlie, it felt rather as though he were in a tiny row-boat underneath the stern of the biggest ship in the world. The Space Hotel towered over them. It was enormous. ‘I can’t wait,’ thought Charlie, ‘to get inside and see what it’s like.’

4

The President

Half a mile back, Shuckworth, Shanks and Showler were keeping the television camera aimed all the time at the Glass Elevator. And across the world, millions and millions of people were clustered around their TV screens, watching tensely the drama being acted out two hundred and forty miles above the earth. In his study in the White House sat Lancelot R. Gilligrass, President of the United States of America, the most powerful man on Earth. In this moment of crisis, all his most important advisers had been summoned urgently to his presence, and there they all were now, following closely on the giant television screen every move made by this dangerous-looking glass capsule and its eight desperate-looking astronauts. The entire Cabinet was present. The Chief of the Army was there, together with four other generals. There was the Chief of the Navy and the Chief of the Air Force and a sword-swallower from Afghanistan, who was the President’s best friend. There was the President’s Chief Financial Adviser, who was standing in the middle of the room trying to balance the budget on top of his head, but it kept falling off. Standing nearest of all to the President was the Vice-President, a huge lady of eighty-nine with a whiskery chin. She had been the President’s nurse when he was a baby and her name was Miss Tibbs. Miss Tibbs was the power behind the throne. She stood no nonsense from anyone. Some people said she was as strict with the President now as when he was a little boy. She was the terror of the White House and even the Head of the Secret Service broke into a sweat when summoned to her presence. Only the President was allowed to call her Nanny. The President’s famous cat, Mrs Taubsypuss, was also in the room.

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