Roald Dahl. THE WITCHES
“I’ll try not to,” I said.
“And whatever happens, you mustn’t let them catch you.”
“Don’t go on about it, Grandmamma. You’re making me nervous.”
“You’re a brave little fellow,” she said. “I do love you.”
“What shall we do with Bruno?” I asked her.
Bruno looked up. “I’m coming with you,” he said, speaking with his mouth full of banana. “I’m not going to miss my supper!”
My grandmother considered this for a moment. “I’ll take you along,” she said, “if you promise to stay in my bag and keep absolutely silent.”
“Will you pass food down to me from the table?” Bruno asked.
“Yes,” she said, “if you promise to behave yourself. Would you like something to eat, my darling?” she said to me.
“No, thank you,” I said. “I’m too excited to eat. And I’ve got to keep fit and frisky for the big job ahead.”
“It’s a big job all right,” my grandmother said. “You’ll never do a bigger one.”
In the Kitchen
“The time has come!” my grandmother said. “The great moment has arrived! Are you ready, my darling?”
It was exactly half-past seven. Bruno was in the bowl finishing that fourth banana. “Hang on,” he said. “Just a few more bites.”
“No!” my grandmother said. “We’ve got to go!” She picked him up and held him tight in her hand. She was very tense and nervous. I had never seen her like that before. “I’m going to put you both in my handbag now,” she said, “but I shall leave the clasp undone.” She popped Bruno into it first. I waited, clutching the little bottle to my chest. “Now you,” she said. She picked me up and gave me a kiss on the nose. “Good luck, my darling. Oh, by the way, you do realise you’ve got a tail, don’t you?”
“A what?” I said.
“A tail. A long curly tail.”
“I must say that never occurred to me,” I said. “Good gracious me, so I have! I can see it now! I can actually move it! It is rather grand, isn’t it?”
“I mention it only because it might come in useful when you’re climbing about in the kitchen,” my grandmother said. “You can curl it around and you can hook it on to things and you can swing from it and lower yourself to the ground from high places.”
“I wish I’d known this before,” I said. “I could have practised using it.”
“Too late now,” my grandmother said. “We’ve got to go.” She popped me into her handbag with Bruno, and at once I took up my usual perch in the small side-pocket so that I could poke my head out and see what was going on.
My grandmother picked up her walking-stick and out she went into the corridor to the lift. She pressed the button and the lift came up and she got in. There was no one in there with us.
“Listen,” she said. “I won’t be able to talk to you much once we’re in the Dining-Room. If I do, people will think I’m dotty and talking to myself.”
The lift reached the ground floor and stopped with a jerk. My grandmother walked out of it and crossed the lobby of the hotel and entered the Dining-Room. It was a huge room with gold decorations on the ceiling and big mirrors around the walls. The regular guests always had their tables reserved for them and most of them were already in their places and starting to eat their suppers. Waiters were buzzing about all over the place, carrying plates and dishes. Our table was a small one beside the right-hand wall about halfway down the room. My grandmother made her way to it and sat down.
Peeping out of the handbag, I could see in the very centre of the room two long tables that were not yet occupied. Each of them carried a notice fixed on to a sort of silver stick and the notices said, RESERVED FOR MEMBERS OF THE RSPCC.
My grandmother looked towards the long tables but said nothing. She unfolded her napkin and spread it over the handbag on her lap. Her hand slid under the napkin and took hold of me gently. With the napkin covering me, she lifted me up close to her face and whispered, “I am about to put you on the floor under the table. The table-cloth reaches almost to the ground so no one will see you. Have you got hold of the bottle?”