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ROBERT A. HEINLEIN. By His Bootstraps

“Let him alone!”

They both swung around. Facing them, standing directly in front of the circle was a third man. Bob looked at the newcomer, looked back at Joe, blinked his eyes and tried to focus them. The two looked a good bit alike, he thought, enough alike to be brothers. Or maybe he was seeing double. Bad stuff, gin. Should ‘ave switched to rum a long time ago. Good stuff, rum. You could drink it, or take a bath in it. No, that was gin—he meant Joe.

How silly! Joe was the one with the black eye. He wondered why he had ever been confused.

Then who was this other lug? Couldn’t a couple of friends have a quiet drink together without people butting in?

“Who are you?” he said with quiet dignity.

The newcomer turned his head, then looked at Joe. “He knows me,” he said meaningly.

Joe looked him over slowly. “Yes,” he said, “yes, I suppose I do. But what the deuce are you here for? And why are you trying to bust up the plan?”

“No time for long-winded explanations. I know more about it than you do—you’ll concede that—and my judgment is bound to be better than yours. He doesn’t go through the Gate.”

“I don’t concede anything of the sort—”

The telephone rang.

“Answer it!” snapped the newcomer.

Bob was about to protest the peremptory tone, but decided he wouldn’t. He lacked the phlegmatic temperament necessary to ignore a ringing telephone. “Hello?”

“Hello,” he was answered. “Is that Bob Wilson?”

“Yes. Who is this?”

“Never mind. I just wanted to be sure you were there. I thought you would be. You’re right in the groove, kid, right in the groove.”

Wilson heard a chuckle, then the click of the disconnection. “Hello,” he said. “Hello!” He jiggled the bar a couple of times, then hung up.

“What was it?” asked Joe.

“Nothing. Some nut with a misplaced sense of humor.” The telephone bell rang again. Wilson added, “There he is again,” and picked up the receiver. “Listen, you butterfly-brained ape! I’m a busy man, and this is not a public telephone.”

“Why, Bob!” came a hurt feminine voice.

“Huh? Oh, it’s you, Genevieve. Look—I’m sorry. I apologize—”

“Well, I should think you would!”

“You don’t understand, honey. A guy has been pestering me over the phone and I thought it was him. You know I wouldn’t talk that way to you, babe.”

“Well, I should think not. Particularly after all you said to me this afternoon, and all we meant to each other”

“Huh? This afternoon? Did you say this afternoon?”

“Of course. But what I called up about was this: you left your hat in my apartment. I noticed it a few minutes after you had gone and just thought I’d call and tell you where it is. Anyhow,” she added coyly, “it gave me an excuse to hear your voice again.”

“Sure. Fine,” he said mechanically. “Look, babe, I’m a little mixed up about this. Trouble I’ve had all day long, and more trouble now. I’ll look you up tonight and straighten it out. But I know I didn’t leave your hat in my apartment—”

“Your hat, silly!”

“Huh? Oh, sure! Anyhow, I’ll see you tonight. ‘By.” He rang off hurriedly. Gosh, he thought, that woman is getting to be a problem. Hallucinations. He turned to his two companions.

“Very well, Joe. I’m ready to go if you are.” He was not sure just when or why he had decided to go through the time gadget, but he had. Who did this other mug think he was, anyhow, trying to interfere with a man’s freedom of choice?

“Fine!” said Joe, in a relieved voice. “Just step through. That’s all there is to it.”

“No, you don’t!” It was the ubiquitous stranger. He stepped between Wilson and the Gate.

Bob Wilson faced him. “Listen, you! You come butting in here like you think I was a bum. If you don’t like it, go jump in the lake—and I’m just the kind of guy who can do it! You and who else?”

The stranger reached out and tried to collar him. Wilson let go a swing, but not a good one. It went by nothing faster than parcel post. The stranger walked under it and let him have a mouthful of knuckles—large, hard ones. Joe closed in rapidly, coming to Bob’s aid. They traded punches in a free-for-all, with Bob joining in enthusiastically but inefficiently. The only punch he landed was on Joe, theoretically his ally. However, he had intended it for the third man.

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Categories: Heinlein, Robert
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