Sketches New and Old by Mark Twain

and many envied his funeral.

But these expeditions were trifles compared with the present one; for

this one comprised among its servants the very greatest among the

learned; and besides it was to go to the utterly unvisited regions

believed to lie beyond the mighty forest–as we have remarked before.

How the members were banqueted, and glorified, and talked about!

Everywhere that one of them showed himself, straightway there was a crowd

to gape and stare at him.

Finally they set off, and it was a sight to see the long procession of

dry-land Tortoises heavily laden with savants, scientific instruments,

Glow-Worms and Fire-Flies for signal service, provisions, Ants and

Tumble-Bugs to fetch and carry and delve, Spiders to carry the surveying

chain and do other engineering duty, and so forth and so on; and after

the Tortoises came another long train of ironclads–stately and spacious

Mud Turtles for marine transportation service; and from every Tortoise

and every Turtle flaunted a flaming gladiolus or other splendid banner;

at the head of the column a great band of Bumble-Bees, Mosquitoes,

Katy-Dids, and Crickets discoursed martial music; and the entire train

was under the escort and protection of twelve picked regiments of the

Army Worm.

At the end of three weeks the expedition emerged from the forest and

looked upon the great Unknown World. Their eyes were greeted with an

impressive spectacle. A vast level plain stretched before them, watered

by a sinuous stream; and beyond there towered up against the sky along

and lofty barrier of some kind, they did not know what. The Tumble-Bug

said he believed it was simply land tilted up on its edge, because he

knew he could see trees on it. But Professor Snail and the others said:

“You are hired to dig, sir–that is all. We need your muscle, not your

brains. When we want your opinion on scientific matters, we will hasten

to let you know. Your coolness is intolerable, too–loafing about here

meddling with august matters of learning, when the other laborers are

pitching camp. Go along and help handle the baggage.”

The Tumble-Bug turned on his heel uncrushed, unabashed, observing to

himself, “If it isn’t land tilted up, let me die the death of the

unrighteous.”

Professor Bull Frog (nephew of the late explorer) said he believed the

ridge was the wall that inclosed the earth. He continued:

“Our fathers have left us much learning, but they had not traveled far,

and so we may count this a noble new discovery. We are safe for renown

now, even though our labors began and ended with this single achievement.

I wonder what this wall is built of? Can it be fungus? Fungus is an

honorable good thing to build a wall of.”

Professor Snail adjusted his field-glass and examined the rampart

critically. Finally he said:

“‘The fact that it is not diaphanous convinces me that it is a dense

vapor formed by the calorification of ascending moisture dephlogisticated

by refraction. A few endiometrical experiments would confirm this, but

it is not necessary. The thing is obvious.”

So he shut up his glass and went into his shell to make a note of the

discovery of the world’s end, and the nature of it.

“Profound mind!” said Professor Angle-Worm to Professor Field-Mouse;

“profound mind! nothing can long remain a mystery to that august brain.”

Night drew on apace, the sentinel crickets were posted, the Glow-Worm and

Fire-Fly lamps were lighted, and the camp sank to silence and sleep.

After breakfast in the morning, the expedition moved on. About noon a

great avenue was reached, which had in it two endless parallel bars of

some kind of hard black substance, raised the height of the tallest Bull

Frog, above the general level. The scientists climbed up on these and

examined and tested them in various ways. They walked along them for a

great distance, but found no end and no break in them. They could arrive

at no decision. There was nothing in the records of science that

mentioned anything of this kind. But at last the bald and venerable

geographer, Professor Mud Turtle, a person who, born poor, and of a

drudging low family, had, by his own native force raised himself to the