written all over you. But I don’t care. All I want to do is tell you and then get lost.’
‘I’m listening,’ Harper said.
‘It started when Denny was almost two and Shirl was just an infant. He started crying when Rita put
him to bed. We had a two-bedroom place, see. Shirl slept in a crib in our room. At first I thought he
was crying because he didn’t have a bottle to take to bed any more. Rita said don’t make an issue of it,
let it go, let him have it and he’ll drop it on his own. But that’s the way kids start off bad. You get
permissive with them, spoil them. Then they break your heart. Get some girl knocked up, you know, or
start shooting dope. Or they get to be sissies. Can you imagine waking up some morning and finding
your kid – your son – is a sissy?
‘After a while, though, when he didn’t stop, I started putting him to bed myself. And if he didn’t stop
crying I’d give him a whack. Then Rita said he was saying “light” over and over again. Well, I didn’t
know. Kids that little, how can you tell what they’re saying. Only a mother can tell.
‘Rita wanted to put in a nightlight. One of those wall-
plug things with Mickey Mouse or Huckleberry Hound or something on it. I wouldn’t let her. If a kid
doesn’t get over being afraid of the dark when he’s little, he never gets over it.
‘Anyway, he died the summer after Shirl was born. I put him to bed that night and he started to cry
right off. I heard what he said that time. He pointed right at the closet when he said it. “Boogeyman,”
the kid says. “Boogeyman, Daddy.”
‘I turned off the light and went into our room and asked Rita why she wanted to teach the kid a word
like that. I was tempted to slap her around a little, but I didn’t. She said she never taught him to say that.
I called her a goddamn liar.
‘That was a bad summer for me, see. The only job I could get was loading Pepsi-Cola trucks in a
warehouse, and I was tired all the time. Shirl would wake up and cry every night and Rita would pick
her up and sniffle. I tell you, sometimes I felt like throwing them both out a window. Christ, kids drive
you crazy sometimes. You could kill them.
‘Well, the kid woke me at three in the morning, right on schedule. I went to the bathroom, only a
quarter awake, you know, and Rita asked me if I’d check on Denny. I told her to do it herself and went
back to bed. I was almost asleep when she started to scream.
‘I got up and went in. The kid was dead on his back. Just as white as flour except for where the blood
had. . . had sunk. Back of the legs, the head, the a-the buttocks. His eyes were open. That was the worst,
you know. Wide open and glassy, like the eyes you see on a moosehead some guy put over his mantel.
Like pictures you see of those gook kids over in Nam. But an American kid shouldn’t look like that.
Dead on his back. Wearing diapers and rubber pants because he’d been wetting himself again the last
couple of weeks. Awful, I loved that kid.’
Billings shook his head slowly, then offered the rubbery, frightening grin again. ‘Rita was screaming
her head off.
She tried to pick Denny up and rock him, but I wouldn’t let her. The cops don’t like you to touch any of
the evidence. I know that -‘
‘Did you know it was the boogeyman then?’ Harper asked quietly.
‘Oh, no. Not then. But I did see one thing. It didn’t mean anything to me then, but my mind stored it
away.’
‘What was that?’
‘The closet door was open. Not much. Just a crack. But I knew I left it shut, see. There’s dry-cleaning
bags in there. 3 A kid messes around with one of those and bango. Asphyxiation. You know that?’