‘Yes. What happened then?’
Billings shrugged. ‘We planted him.’ He looked morbidly at his hands, which had thrown dirt on three
tiny coffins.
‘Was there an inquest?’
‘Sure.’ Billings’s eyes flashed with sardonic brilliance.
‘So me back-country fuckhead with a stethoscope and a black bag full of Junior Mints and a sheepskin
from some cow college. Crib death, he called it! You ever hear such a pile of yellow manure? The kid
was three years old!’
‘Crib death is most common during the first year,’ Harper said carefully, ‘but that diagnosis has gone on
death certificates for children up to age five for want of a better -‘
Bulishit!’ Billings spat out violently.
Harper relit his pipe.
We moved Shirl into Denny’s old room a month after the funeral. Rita fought it tooth and nail, but I had
the last word. It hurt me, of course it did. Jesus, I loved having the kid in with us. But you can’t get
overprotective. You make a kid a cripple that way. When I was a kid my mom used to take me to the
beach and then scream herself hoarse. “Don’t go out so far! Don’t go there! It’s got an undertow! You
only ate an hour ago! Don’t go over your head!” Even to watch out for sharks, before God. So what
happens? I can’t even go near the water now. It’s the truth. I get the cramps if I go near a beach. Rita got
me to take her and the kids to Savin Rock once when Denny was alive. I got sick as a dog. I know, see?
You can’t overprotect kids. And you can’t coddle yourself either. Life goes on. Shirl went right into
Denny’s crib. We sent the old mattress to the dump, though. I didn’t want my girl to get any germs.
‘So a year goes by. And one night when I’m putting Shirl into her crib she starts to yowl and scream and
cry. “Boogeyman, Daddy, boogeyman, boogeyman!”
‘That threw a jump into me. It was just like Denny. And I started to remember about that closet door,
open just a crack when we found him. I wanted to take her into our room for the night.’
‘Did you?’
‘No.’ Billings regarded his hands and his face twitched. ‘How could I go to Rita and admit I was wrong?
I had to be strong. She was always such a jellyfish. . . look how easy she went to bed with me when we
weren’t married.’
Harper said, ‘On the other hand, look how easily you went to bed with her.’
Billings froze in the act of rearranging his hands and slowly turned his head to look at Harper. ‘Are you
trying to be a wise guy?’
‘No, indeed,’ Harper said.
‘Then let me tell it my way,’ Billings snapped. ‘I came here to get this off my chest. To tell my story.
I’m not going to talk about my sex life, if that’s what you expect. Rita and I had a very normal sex life,
with none of that dirty stuff. I know it gives some people a charge to talk about that, but I’m not one of
them.’
‘Okay,’ Harper said.
‘Okay,’ Billings echoed with uneasy arrogance. He seemed to have lost the thread of his thought, and
his eyes wandered uneasily to the closet door, which was firmly shut.
‘Would you like that open?’ Harper asked.
‘No!’ Billings said quickly. He gave a nervous little laugh. ‘What do I want to look at your overshoes
for?
‘The boogeyman got her, too,’ Billings said. He brushed at his forehead, as if sketching memories. ‘A
month later. But something happened before that. I heard a noise in there one night. And then she
screamed. I opened the door real quick – the hall light was on – and. . . she was sitting up in the crib
crying and. . . something moved. Back in the shadows, by the closet. Something slithered.’
‘Was the closet door open?’
‘A little. Just a crack.’ Billings licked his lips. ‘Shirl was screaming about the boogeyman. And
something else that sounded like “claws”. Only she said “craws”, you know. Little kids have trouble