The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

comfortably against the posts of the awning and contemplated the arrival

of the wayfarers with lazy curiosity. All these people presently managed

to drag themselves to the vicinity of the Hawkins’ wagon, and there they

took up permanent positions, hands in pockets and resting on one leg; and

thus anchored they proceeded to look and enjoy. Vagrant dogs came

wagging around and making inquiries of Hawkins’s dog, which were not

satisfactory and they made war on him in concert. This would have

interested the citizens but it was too many on one to amount to anything

as a fight, and so they commanded the peace and the foreign dog coiled

his tail and took sanctuary under the wagon. Slatternly negro girls and

women slouched along with pails deftly balanced on their heads, and

joined the group and stared. Little half dressed white boys, and little

negro boys with nothing whatever on but tow-linen shirts with a fine

southern exposure, came from various directions and stood with their

hands locked together behind them and aided in the inspection. The rest

of the population were laying down their employments and getting ready to

come, when a man burst through the assemblage and seized the new-comers

by the hands in a frenzy of welcome, and exclaimed–indeed almost

shouted:

“Well who could have believed it! Now is it you sure enough–turn

around! hold up your heads! I want to look at you good! Well, well,

well, it does seem most too good to be true, I declare! Lord, I’m so

glad to see you! Does a body’s whole soul good to look at you! Shake

hands again! Keep on shaking hands! Goodness gracious alive. What will

my wife say?–Oh yes indeed, it’s so!–married only last week–lovely,

perfectly lovely creature, the noblest woman that ever–you’ll like her,

Nancy! Like her? Lord bless me you’ll love her–you’ll dote on her–

you’ll be twins! Well, well, well, let me look at you again! Same old–

why bless my life it was only jest this very morning that my wife says,

‘Colonel’–she will call me Colonel spite of everything I can do–she

says ‘Colonel, something tells me somebody’s coming!’ and sure enough

here you are, the last people on earth a body could have expected.

Why she’ll think she’s a prophetess–and hanged if I don’t think so too–

and you know there ain’t any, country but what a prophet’s an honor to,

as the proverb says. Lord bless me and here’s the children, too!

Washington, Emily, don’t you know me? Come, give us a kiss. Won’t I fix

you, though!–ponies, cows, dogs, everything you can think of that’ll

delight a child’s heart-and — Why how’s this? Little strangers? Well

you won’t be any strangers here, I can tell you. Bless your souls we’ll

make you think you never was at home before–‘deed and ‘deed we will,

I can tell you! Come, now, bundle right along with me. You can’t

glorify any hearth stone but mine in this camp, you know–can’t eat

anybody’s bread but mine–can’t do anything but just make yourselves

perfectly at home and comfortable, and spread yourselves out and rest!

You hear me! Here–Jim, Tom, Pete, Jake, fly around! Take that team to

my place–put the wagon in my lot–put the horses under the shed, and get

out hay and oats and fill them up! Ain’t any hay and oats? Well get

some–have it charged to me–come, spin around, now! Now, Hawkins, the

procession’s ready; mark time, by the left flank, forward-march!”

And the Colonel took the lead, with Laura astride his neck, and the

newly-inspired and very grateful immigrants picked up their tired limbs

with quite a spring in them and dropped into his wake.

Presently they were ranged about an old-time fire-place whose blazing

logs sent out rather an unnecessary amount of heat, but that was no

matter-supper was needed, and to have it, it had to be cooked. This

apartment was the family bedroom, parlor, library and kitchen, all in

one. The matronly little wife of the Colonel moved hither and thither

and in and out with her pots and pans in her hands’, happiness in her

heart and a world of admiration of her husband in her eyes. And when at