“That’s bad?
“What do you think? Three of the big ones troughed in 1929 and the depression almost ruined us…even with the big 54-year cycle supporting things. Now we’ve got the big one troughing and the few crests are not things that help. I mean to say, tent caterpillars and influenza don’t do us any good, Meade, if statistics mean anything, this tired old planet hasn’t seen a jackpot like this since Eve went into the apple business. I’m scared.
She searched his face. “Potty you’re not simply having fun with me? You know I can’t check up on you.
“I wish to heaven I were. No, Meade, I can’t fool about numbers; I wouldn’t know how. This is it. The Year of the Jackpot.
She was very silent as he drove her home. As they approached West Los Angeles, she said, “Potty?
“Yes, Meade?
“What do we do about it?
“What do you do about a hurricane? You pull in your ears. What can you do about an atom bomb? You try to out-guess it, not be there when it goes off. What else can you do?
“Oh.” She was silent for a few moments, then added, “Potty? Will you tell me which way to jump?
“Hub? Oh, sure! If I can figure it out.
He took her to her door, turned to go. She said, “Potty!
He faced her. “Yes, Meade?
She grabbed his head, shook it then kissed him fiercely on the mouth. “There is that just a statistic?
“Uh, no.
“It had better not be,” she said dangerously. “Potty, I think I’m going to have to change your curve.
II “RUSSIANS BEJECT UN NOTE
“MISSOURI FLOOD DAMAGE EXCEEDS 1951 BECORD
“MISSISSIPPI MESSIAH DEFIES COURT
“NUDIST CONVENTION STORMS BAILEY’S BEACH
“BBITISH-IRAN TALKS STILL DEAD-LOCKED
“FASTER-THAN-LIGHT WEAPON PROMISED
“TYPHOON DOUBLING BACK ON MANILA
“MAKBIAGE SOLEMNIZED ON FLOOB OF HUDSON New York, 13 July, In a specially-constructed diving suit built for two, Merydith Smithe, caf6 society headline girl, and Prince Augie Schleswieg of New Vork and the Riviera were united today by Bishop Dalton in a service televised with the aid of the Navy’s ultra-new
As the Year of the Jackpot progressed Breen took melancholy pleasure in adding to the data which proved that the curve was sagging as predicted. The undeclared World War continued its bloody, blundering way at half a dozen spots around a tortured globe. Breen did not chart it; the head lines were there for anyone to read. He concentrated on the odd facts in the other pages of the papers, facts which, taken singly, meant nothing, but taken together showed a disastrous trend
He listed stock market prices, rainfall, wheat futures, but it was the “silly season” items which fascinated him. To be sure, some humans were always doing silly things but at what point had prime damfoolishness become common place? When, for example, had the zombie-like professional models become accepted ideals of American womanhood
What were the gradations between National Cancer Week and National Athlete’s Foot Week? On what day had the American people finally taken leave of horse sense
Take transvestites male-and-female dress customs were arbitrary, but they had seemed to be deeply rooted in the culture. When did the breakdown start? With Marlene Dietrich’s tailored suits? By the late forties there was no “male
article of clothing that a woman could not wear in public but when had men started to slip over the line? Should he count the psychological cripples who had made the word “drag” a byword in Greenwich Village and Hollywood long before this outbreak? Or were they “wild shots” not belonging on the curve? Did it start with some unknown normal man attending a masquerade and there discovering that skirts actually were more comfortable and practical than trousers? Or had it started with the resurgence of Scottish nationalism reflected in the wearing of kilts by many Scottish-Americans
Ask a lemming to state his motives! The outcome was in front of him, a news story. Transvestism by draft-dodgers had at last resulted in a mass arrest in Chicago which was to have ended in a giant joint trial only to have the deputy prosecutor show up in a pinafore and defy the judge to submit to an examination to determine the judge’s true sex