He was in the reception room outside my office. He stood up when I came in. He was exactly as tall as myself. His hair was the same color and texture as mine. He needed a shave, and his potential beard was as black and thick as mine. His eyes were the same color as mine. All 4 of our eyes were greenish amber. We had the same big nose, my fathers nose. He was nervous and polite. He was expensively dressed in leisure clothes. If he had been learning-disabled or merely stupid, which he wasnt, he might have had a happy 4 years at Tarkington, especially with that car of his.
I was giddy. I had taken off my overcoat on the way in, so that he could see my Generals stars. That was something, anyway. How many boys had a father who was a General?
How can I help you?¨ I said.
I hardly know how to begin,¨ he said.
I think youve already begun by telling the guard that you were a son of mine,¨ I said. Was that a joke?¨
Do you think it was a joke?¨ he asked.
I dont pretend I was a Saint when I was young and away from home so much,¨ I said. But I never made love using an alias. I was always easy to find afterward, if somebody wanted to find me badly enough. So, if I did father a child out of wedlock somewhere along the line, that comes as a complete surprise to me. I would have thought the mother, the minute she found out she was pregnant, would have gotten in touch with me.¨
I know 1 mother who didnt,¨ he said.
Before I could reply, he blurted words he must have rehearsed en route. This is going to be a very brief visit,¨ he said. I am going to be in and out of here before you know it. Im on my way to Italy, and I never want to see this country ever again, and especially Dubuque.¨
It would turn out that he had been through an ordeal that lasted much, much longer than the siege of Scipio, and was probably harder on him than Vietnam had been on me. He had been tried for child molestation in Dubuque, Iowa, where he had founded and run a free child-care center at his own expense.
He wasnt married, a strike against him in the eyes of most juries, a character flaw like having served in the Vietnam War.
I grew up in Dubuque,¨ he would tell me, and the money I inherited was made in Dubuque.¨ It was a meat-packing fortune.
I wanted to give something back to Dubuque. With so many single parents raising children on minimum wage, and with so many married couples both working to make enough to feed and clothe their children halfway decently, I thought what Dubuque needed most was a child-care center that was nice and didnt cost anything.¨
Two weeks after he opened the center, he was arrested for child molestation because several of the children came home with inflamed genitalia.
He was later to prove in court, after smears were taken from the childrens lesions, that a fungus was to blame. The fungus was closely related to jock itch, and may actually have been a new strain of jock which had learned how to rise above all the standard remedies for that affliction.
By then, though, he had been held in jail without bail for 3 months, and had to be protected from a lynch mob by the National Guard. Luckily for him, Dubuque, like
so many communities, had backed up its police with Armor and Infantry.
After he was acquitted, he had to be transported out of town and deep into Illinois in a buttoned-up tank, or somebody would have killed him.
The judge who acquitted him was killed. He was of Italian ancestry. Somebody sent him a pipe bomb concealed in a huge salami.
But that son of mine did not tell me about any of that until just before he said, Its time to say, ĽGood-bye.¨ He prefaced the tale of how he had suffered so with these words: I hope you understand, the last thing I wanted to do was make any demands on your emotions.¨
Try me,¨ I said.
Thinking about our meeting now ifils me with a sort of sweetness. He had liked me enough, found me warm enough, to use me as though I were a really good father, if only for a little while.
In the beginning, when we were feeling each other out very gingerly, and I hadnt yet admitted that he was my son, I asked him if Rob Roy¨ was the name on his birth certificate, or whether that was a nickname his mother had hung on him.
He said it was the name on his birth certificate.
And the father on the birth certificate?¨ I asked.
It was the name of a soldier who died in Vietnam,¨ he said.
Do you remember what it was?¨ I said.
Here came a surprise. It was the name of my brotherin-law, Jack Patton, whom his mother had never met,
Im sure. I must have told her about Jack in Manila, and shed remembered his name, and that he was unmarried and had died for his country.
I thought to myself, Good old Jack, wherever you are, its time to laugh like hell again.¨
So what makes you think Im your father instead of him?¨ I said. Your mother finally told you?¨
She wrote me a letter,¨ he said.
She didnt tell you face to face?¨ I said.
She couldnt,¨ he said. She died of cancer of the pancreas when I was 4 years old.¨
That was a shock. She sure hadnt lasted long after I made love to her. Ive always enjoyed thinking of the women I have made love to as living on and on. I had imagined his mother, game and smart and sporty and funny, with lips like sofa pillows, living on and on.
She wrote me a letter on her deathbed,¨ he continued, which was put into the hands of a law firm in Dubuque, not to be opened until after the death of the good man who had married her and adopted me. He died only a year ago.¨
Did the letter say why you were named Rob Roy?¨ I inquired.
No,¨ he said. I assumed it must be because she liked the novel by that name by Sir Walter Scott.¨
That sounds right,¨ I said. What good would it do him or anybody else to know that he was named for 2 shots of Scotch, I shot of sweet vermouth, cracked ice, and a twist of lemon peel?
How did you find me?¨ I said.
At first I didnt think I wanted to find you,¨ he said. But then 2 weeks ago I thought that we were entitled
to see each other once, at least. So I called West Point.¨
I havent had any contact with them for years,¨ I said.
Thats what they told me,¨ he said. But just before I called they got a call from theGovernor of New York, who said he had just made you a Brigadier General. He wanted to make sure he hadnt been made a fool of. He wanted to make sure you were what you were claimed to be.¨
Well,¨ I said, and we were still standing in the reception room, I dont think we need to wait for blood tests to find out whether you are really my son or not. You are the spit and image of me when I was your age.
You should know that I really loved your mother,¨ I went on.
That was in her letter, how much in love you were,¨ he said.
You will have to take my word for it,¨ I said, that if I had known she was pregnant, I would have behaved honorably. Im not quite sure what we would have done. We would have worked something out.¨
I led the way into my office. Come on in. There are a couple of easy chairs in here. We can close the door.¨
No, no, no,¨ he said. Im on my way. Ijust thought we should see each other just one time. Weve done that now. Its no big thing.¨
I like life to be simple,¨ I said, but if you went away without another word, that would be much too simple for me, and for you, too, I hope.¨
So I got him into my office and closed the door, and got us settled in facing easy chairs. We hadnt touched. We never would touch.
I would offer you coffee,¨ I said, but nobody in this valley has coffee.¨
Ive got some in my car,¨ he said.
Im sure,¨ I said. But dont go get it. Never mind, never mind.¨ I cleared my throat. If youll pardon my saying so, you seem to be what I have heard called Ľfabulously well-to-do.¨