Thirty-two: THE ULTIMATE WATER BALLOON
Craig was deep in the design of a new kind of battle armor when one of
Mikey’s robot servants came for him.
“The Master commands your presence,” the robot said in a Darth Vader voice
of doom.
“You mean Mikey?”
“The Master. Come.” With that the robot pivoted on its heel and marched
out the door with Craig hurrying along behind.
Mikey was up on the battlements, standing next to a troughlike contraption
and looking out over the valley.
“What’s shaking, dude?” Craig said as he puffed up with the robot guide.
“Shaking? A whole lot. I want you to see my latest invention.”
Since Mikey had ignored everything he had done since he made the giant
robot, Craig didn’t think this was quite fair. But he didn’t object.
Instead he bent over and inspected the device.
“What is that thing?”
“It’s a water balloon. The best goddamn water balloon you’ve ever seen.”
It didn’t look much like a balloon to Craig. Just a featureless silvery
sphere, like those mirrored balls people used to put on pedestals in
gardens. The sphere was resting in the trough and there were some springs
and some other, less identifiable, bits of machinery underneath.
“What does it do?”
“Watch,” Mikey told him. “But put these on first.” He snapped his fingers
and the robot stepped forward and proferred a couple of smashed ham
sandwiches.
“Not those, you fucking moron!” Mikey said. “Give him the goddamn goggles!
“Jeez, Craig, you need to do something about these robots. They’re so
fucking stupid.”
Craig started to tell him it wasn’t one of his robots, but Mikey had
already slipped on a pair of dark goggles and was looking back out over
the valley. Craig took the pair of goggles the robot was holding out to
him, wiped the mustard and mayonnaise off the lenses and slipped them on.
Mikey threw a lever on the side of his device and the silvery ball whisked
down the trough and out over the valley in a high, lazy arc. Craig watched
the ball shrink to a dot and then lost it in the sun.
Suddenly the world exploded.
Castle, valley and mountains all disappeared in a blaze of blinding
radiance. Craig squinched his eyes shut but the sight was burned into his
vision. He opened his mouth but he was bowled over backwards as if he had
been slapped by a giant hand. Sand and bits of rock stung his skin and the
wind whipped insanely about him. The parapet shook beneath him until he
was sure the castle was coming down. The noise shook him like a terrier
shakes a rat. All he could do was lie curled up in a ball and scream at
the pain in his ears and the red after-images in his eyes.
Then it was over. As suddenly as it had come the noise and the shaking
stopped. Cautiously, Craig opened his eyes and tried to climb to his feet.
Mikey was standing at the battlement braced like a sea captain facing into
a storm. His hair was blown back and his clothes had been whipped about,
but he stood firm and unrelenting, looking out over the valley. As he
gazed on the roiling clouds of dust and debris below his smile reminded
Craig of a picture he had seen once in Sunday school, of Moses looking out
over the Promised Land.
Craig shook himself and looked around. The pennants on the castle towers
had been torn to shreds by the blast. Half the roof tiles had been blown
off the conical roof of the nearest tower and the chamber below gaped up.
His robot guide lay in a twitching heap, unable to rise.
Mikey said something, but it didn’t register on Craig’s numbed and ringing
ears.
“What?”
“I said, ‘Neat huh?’ ” Mikey half-shouted.
“What in the hell was that?”
“Like I said, a water balloon.”
“Like hell!”
Mikey’s smile grew broader. “Nope. Take a sphere of water-just ordinary
water-and squeeze it real hard. Pretty soon the atoms disassociate into
hydrogen and oxygen. Then if you squeeze it hard enough those hydrogen
atoms are forced close enough together that they fuse.” He threw up his