An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser

a thing you are thinking of doing, that you are actually

planning to destroy a young life that has as good a right to

its existence as you have to yours …” he paused in order to

let the substance of what he was saying sink in—“well,

then, I think you might feel called upon to stop and consider

—both you and your husband. Besides,” he added, in a

diplomatic and more fatherly and even intriguing tone of

voice, “I think that once you have it it will more than make

up to you both for whatever little hardship its coming will

bring you. Tell me,” he added curiously at this point, “does

your husband know of this? Or is this just some plan of

yours to save him and yourself from too much hardship?”

He almost beamed cheerfully as, fancying he had captured

Roberta in some purely nervous and feminine economy as

well as dread, he decided that if so he could easily extract

her from her present mood. And she, sensing his present

drift and feeling that one lie more or less could neither help

nor harm her, replied quickly: “He knows.”

“Well, then,” he went on, slightly reduced by the fact that his

surmise was incorrect, but none the less resolved to

dissuade her and him, too: “I think you two should really

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consider very seriously before you go further in this matter. I

know when young people first face a situation like this they

always look on the darkest side of it, but it doesn’t always

work out that way. I know my wife and I did with our first

child. But we got along. And if you will only stop now and

talk it over, you’ll see it in a different light, I’m sure. And

then you won’t have your conscience to deal with

afterwards, either.” He ceased, feeling reasonably sure that

he had dispelled the fear, as well as the determination that

had brought Roberta to him—that, being a sensible,

ordinary wife, she would now desist of course—think

nothing more of her plan and leave.

But instead of either acquiescing cheerfully or rising to go,

as he thought she might, she gave him a wide-eyed terrified

look and then as instantly burst into tears. For the total

effect of his address had been to first revive more clearly

than ever the normal social or conventional aspect of the

situation which all along she was attempting to shut out

from her thoughts and which, under ordinary

circumstances, assuming that she was really married, was

exactly the attitude she would have taken. But now the

realization that her problem was not to be solved at all, by

this man at least, caused her to be seized with what might

best be described as morbid panic.

Suddenly beginning to open and shut her fingers and at the

same time beating her knees, while her face contorted itself

with pain and terror, she exclaimed: “But you don’t

understand, doctor, you don’t understand! I have to get out

of this in some way! I have to. It isn’t like I told you at all. I’m

not married. I haven’t any husband at all. But, oh, you don’t

know what this means to me. My family! My father! My

mother! I can’t tell you. But I must get out of it. I must! I

must! Oh, you don’t know, you don’t know! I must! I must!”

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She began to rock backward and forward, at the same time

swaying from side to side as in a trance.

And Glenn, surprised and startled by this sudden

demonstration as well as emotionally affected, and yet at

the same time advised thereby that his original surmise had

been correct, and hence that Roberta had. been lying, as

well as that if he wished to keep himself out of this he must

now assume a firm and even heartless attitude, asked

solemnly: “You are not married, you say?”

For answer now Roberta merely shook her head negatively

and continued to cry. And at last gathering the full import of

her situation, Dr. Glenn got up, his face a study of troubled

and yet conservative caution and sympathy. But without

saying anything at first he merely looked at her as she

wept. Later he added: “Well, well, this is too bad. I’m sorry.”

But fearing to commit himself in any way, he merely

paused, adding after a time soothingly and dubiously: “You

mustn’t cry. That won’t help you any.” He then paused

again, still determined not to have anything to do with this

case. Yet a bit curious as to the true nature of the story he

finally asked: “Well, then where is the young man who is

the cause of your trouble? Is he here?”

Still too overcome by shame and despair to speak, Roberta

merely shook her head negatively.

“But he knows that you’re in trouble, doesn’t he?”

“Yes,” replied Roberta faintly.

“And he won’t marry you?”

“He’s gone away.”

“Oh, I see. The young scamp! And don’t you know where

he’s gone?”

“No,” lied Roberta, weakly.

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“How long has it been since he left you?”

“About a week now.” Once more she lied.

“And you don’t know where he is?”

“No.”

“How long has it been since you were sick?”

“Over two weeks now,” sobbed Roberta.

“And before that you have always been regular?”

“Yes.”

“Well, in the first place,” his tone was more comfortable and

pleasant than before—he seemed to be snatching at a

plausible excuse for extricating himself from a case which

promised little other than danger and difficulty, “this may not

be as serious as you think. I know you’re probably very

much frightened, but it’s not unusual for women to miss a

period. At any rate, without an examination it wouldn’t be

possible to be sure, and even if you were, the most

advisable thing would be to wait another two weeks. You

may find then that there is nothing wrong. I wouldn’t be

surprised if you did. You seem to be oversensitive and

nervous and that sometimes brings about delays of this kind

—mere nervousness. At any rate, if you’ll take my advice,

whatever you do, you’ll not do anything now but just go

home and wait until you’re really sure. For even if anything

were to be done, it wouldn’t be advisable for you to do

anything before then.”

“But I’ve already taken some pills and they haven’t helped

me,” pleaded Roberta.

“What were they?” asked Glenn interestedly, and, after he

had learned, merely commented: “Oh, those. Well, they

wouldn’t be likely to be of any real service to you, if you

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were pregnant. But I still suggest that you wait, and if you

find you pass your second period, then it will be time

enough to act, although I earnestly advise you, even then,

to do nothing if you can help it, because I consider it wrong

to interfere with nature in this way. It would be much better,

if you would arrange to have the child and take care of it.

Then you wouldn’t have the additional sin of destroying a

life upon your conscience.”

He was very grave and felt very righteous as he said this.

But Roberta, faced by terrors which he did not appear to be

able to grasp, merely exclaimed, and as dramatically as

before: “But I can’t do that, doctor, I tell you! I can’t. I can’t!

You don’t understand. Oh, I don’t know what I shall do

unless I find some way out of this. I don’t! I don’t! I don’t!”

She shook her head and clenched her fingers and rocked

to and fro while Glenn, impressed by her own terrors, the

pity of the folly which, as he saw it, had led her to this

dreadful pass, yet professionally alienated by a type of case

that spelled nothing but difficulty for him stood determinedly

before her and added: “As I told you before, Miss—” (he

paused) “Howard, if that is your name, I am seriously

opposed to operations of this kind, just as I am to the folly

that brings girls and young men to the point where they

seem to think they are necessary. A physician may not

interfere in a case of this kind unless he is willing to spend

ten years in prison, and I think that law is fair enough. Not

that I don’t realize how painful your present situation

appears to you. But there are always those who are willing

to help a girl in your state, providing she doesn’t wish to do

something which is morally and legally wrong. And so the

very best advice I can give you now is that you do nothing

at all now or at any time. Better go home and see your

parents and confess. It will be much better—much better, I