Inside he found about twenty demons of all sorts and degrees waiting their turn to lodge complaints with a bored young demon clerk who wore a plaid golfing cap in defiance of temporal clothing regulations (demons can go into the past or future, but they are not supposed to bring back souvenirs).
Azzie flashed his black credit card and pushed his way to the head of the line. “This is top priority,” he told the clerk. “I’ve got full clearance from the High Demon Council.”
“Is that a fact?” the young demon asked, unimpressed.
Azzie showed his black credit card.
“Is what he says true?” the clerk asked the card.
“BELIEVE IT!” the card flashed back.
“All right,” the demon said. “What can we do for you, Mister Big Shot?”
Azzie resented the young demon’s attitude but decided now was not the time to make an issue of it.
“The first thing I need,” Azzie said, “is two castles. I know that’s a lot to ask, but I really need them.”
“Two castles, huh?” The young demon eyed him unsympathetically. “I suppose your whole plan will fail if you don’t have them.”
“That’s exactly right.”
“Then resign yourself to failure, buddy, because we have only one castle, and even that isn’t a proper castle; it’s mostly an outline with a real wall and barbicon, but all the rest is mental construct held together by old magic spells.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Azzie said. “I thought Supply had an unlimited number of castles.”
“That was true quite some time ago. But recently the premise has been changed. The possibilities have been narrowed. It means a lot more trouble for everyone, but it keeps things interesting. That, at least, is the theory of the Supply-side deviltry.”
“I never heard of it,” Azzie said. “Do you know what you’re talking about?”
“If I did,” the clerk said, “would I be in this menial job, telling guys like you they can only have one castle?”
“All right,” Azzie said, “I’ll take the castle you’ve got.”
The clerk scribbled something on a sheet of parchment. “You’ll have to take it as is. We haven’t got time to patch it up any further.”
“What’s the matter with it?”
“I told you about the magic spells that hold the place together. There’re not enough of them, so parts of the castle disappear every now and then.”
“Which parts?” Azzie asked.
“That depends on the weather,” the clerk said. “Since the castle is bound together by dry-weather spells, long periods of rain play hell with its provisional existence.”
“Isn’t there a plan of some sort showing which parts vanish when?”
“Of course there’s a plan,” the clerk said. “But it needs updating. You’d be crazy to trust it.”
“I want it anyway,” Azzie said. He had a lot of respect for scratchings on parchment.
“Where do you want me to put this castle?” the clerk asked.
“Just a minute, this won’t work. I really do need two castles. I have two different beings. One of them has to get from his castle to the castle of the woman he loves, or thinks he loves. I really need two castles.”
“How about one castle and one very large house?”
“No, it’s entirely out of the spirit of the game.”
“Make do with one,” the clerk suggested. “You can shuttle them around. It’s easy enough to change the appearance of a castle. Especially when rooms keep on disappearing.”
“I suppose I’ll have to,” Azzie said. “Or I could use my château for one of them. How soon can you send it?”
“Hey, for you I’ll get on it right away,” the clerk demon said, in a voice that implied Azzie wouldn’t see that castle before Hell froze over. Azzie caught the tone and tapped the black credit card. It flashed: “DO WHAT HE SAYS! NO HORSING AROUND!”
“All right,” said the clerk. “I was only kidding. Where do you want this castle delivered?”
“Do you know a region of Earth called Transylvania?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll find it,” the clerk said.
“Uh, wouldn’t know where I could turn up a good head, would you? Human? Male?”
The clerk just laughed.
And so it was that Azzie left Supply and returned to Earth, where nearly a week had passed. He went to the Château des Artes and was irritated to discover that Frike was nowhere to be found. He went outside and mounted his horse. He was going to ride into Augsburg and seek him out.