Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming by Roger Zelazny and Robert Sheckley. Part 2

“They should not have delayed so long,” Azzie said. “The time set for their appearance is already past.”

“Why, master,” Frike said, “they met with certain unfor­tunate accidents. And so I have come in their stead.”

“What accidents?” Azzie asked.

“My lord,” Frike said, “I brought the items you requested of them.”

Frike reached inside his cloak and took out a leather satchel of tanned cowhide. Opening it, he removed two packets wrapped in sackcloth. Opening one, he removed eight fingers and one thumb, neatly severed, perhaps with a razor.

“Behold,” Frike said. “The lady’s fingers.”

“These are somewhat gummy,” Azzie said, examining the fingers and nibbling one of them.

“They are the best I could provide on short notice,” Frike said.

“And why is there not a full set? A thumb is missing!”

“Your lordship might not have noticed,” Frike said, “since to notice such a thing would be beneath your dignity. But I would point out, sire, that Agatha, who aspired to the post of your servant, had a thumb missing. I do not know the story of its loss, and I’m afraid now I can’t find it out for you.”

“It is of little importance,” Azzie said. “But I also asked for a head.”

“Ah, yes,” Frike said. “The quest you set for the poet. Now you would think, sir, that his would be an easy task, since our local cemetery is full of the sort of specimens you asked for. But he walked around outside the graveyard, then finally went in and put his spade here and then changed his mind and put it there, until at last I got sick of waiting for him to complete the task. So I took the liberty, my lord, of procuring the object and eliminating my opposition in a single stroke.”

So saying, he opened the satchel and displayed the head of Hye, the poet.

“Not cleanly severed, I notice,” Azzie said, but it was just for form’s sake, for he was well pleased with the work of this applicant for the position of his helper.

“I regret there was no time to wait for the perfect stroke,” Frike said. “But since he is well known hereabouts as a bad poet, I daresay he’s missed many a clean stroke himself.”

“Frike, you have done very well. You shall enter my em­ploy at once. I think that you are a paragon among mortals. And since you have done so well at this, I’m sure you will have no problem getting me the things I need, once I have explained them and scouted out the territory.”

“I expect to serve you well, master,” Frike said.

Azzie went to his chest, opened it, and from a small deer­skin bag, extracted four golden thalers. He gave these to Frike, who louted low in gratitude.

“And now,” Azzie said, “we must go to work. Midnight is past; the time of evil is at hand. Are you up for what may come, Frike?”

“Indeed I am.”

“And what do you expect as your reward?”

“Only to continue serving you, lord,” Frike said, “after death as before.”

Thus Azzie knew that Frike knew who, or rather, what he was. He was pleased to find so intelligent a servant. He bade Frike pack the things. They would set to work at once.

Chapter 6

Before anything else could be done, Azzie needed a place from which to operate. The Inn of the Hanged Man possessed many fine features, but the space was too limited and the other customers too apt to be curious. And as Azzie and Frike gathered their specimens there was the problem of the smell. Azzie knew several master spells to keep human meat relatively fresh, but not even a magic spell could take away the odor of death and decay that hung over his work. Even hiring men to bring down ice from the Alps was insufficient, for keeping constant relays going would be a monumental enterprise. And the Powers of Darkness had ve­toed his scheme in this regard, saying it didn’t warrant the expense, and it would call too much attention to him and his work.

The question, then, was where to locate the home and alchemical laboratory that would be needed. He needed to stay close to the heart of Europe because that was where the action was. He settled finally upon the town of Augsburg, in the Alps near Zurich. It was a fine small city, located on a trade route. This meant that he could purchase from passing vendors the spices and simples he needed for the work. Augsburg was also good because it was a well-known center for witchcraft. Since everyone there suspected everyone else of sorcery, no undue suspicion was likely to fall upon him.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *