Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming by Roger Zelazny and Robert Sheckley. Part 2

And when it came to wise advice, the sagest counsel she knew was that of Skander. . . .

Dragons live a long time, and smart dragons not only live a very long time, but also change their names from time to time so that people don’t get wise to just how long they’re living and get jealous. There’s nothing a hero likes to kill more than a really old dragon. The years on a dragon are like the rack on a buck.

Skander and other dragons became aware of how many heroes were hunting for them, and they grew more and more cautious. Gone were the old days, when they hung around and guarded treasure and took on anyone who came along. The dragons were doing very well at that game, too, although all you hear about are hero victories. There were plenty of dragon victories, but there were only a few dragons and an endless supply of heroes. The heroes kept coming, until the dragons got wise to the whole game.

There was a big conference held, at which many views were heard. The Chinese dragons were the most numerous at that time, but they were so jealous of their wisdom and so determined that no other dragon would get it, that all they said, when their advice was asked, were things such as, “It furthers one to see the great man.” “You will cross the water.” “The superior man is like sand.” And the Chinese philosophers, who had a taste for obscurity, collected these into books, which they sold to Westerners in search of wisdom.

The final decision at the conference was to bow to neces­sity, give up some of the more aggressive tactics, which had given dragons bad repute, and maintain a low profile. Dragons voted universally to give up their time-old pursuits of Hoarding and Guarding in favor of the new disciplines of Ducking and Dodging. Don’t just stand around guarding treasure, they an­nounced to each other. Fade into the landscape, live at the bottoms of rivers – for many dragons were able to live under­water- gilled dragons, they were called, that fed on sharks and killer whales and mahimahi. The land dragons had to adopt a different strategy. Land-based dragons learned to conceal them­selves as small mountains, hills, even as clumps of trees. They gave up their old habits of ferocity, contenting themselves with an occasional hunter who strayed into their territory. Once in a while a dragon went back to the old practices, and eventually got hunted down and killed. That dragon’s name would go down in the Dragon Hall of Heroes, and the rest would be advised not to act like him.

Skander was old even by dragon standards. He was there­fore super wily and stayed out of trouble. He lived in central Asia, somewhere near Samarkand, but he had been around since before the city was founded. You could have searched for ages and not found Skander if he didn’t want to be found. But if you did find him he was often a helpful dragon, and he had a vast store of lore. He was also quirky, however, and given to mood swings.

Ylith knew this, but she had to make the attempt. She picked up a bundle of powerbrooms, the sort you can fly on. These were the witches’ greatest accomplishment. They ran on spells, which the Witches’ Sisterhood put together at their head­quarters in Byzantium. The power of spells ran in cycles, some years good, others not so good. Spells were subject to natural forces, but these were not clearly understood, and there were occasional recalls.

The logical starting place, it seemed to her, was the place she had met Skander last time: Dragon Rock. Dragons are clever enough to know that men will never search for a dragon at a place called Dragon Rock.

Many heroes had ridden through the area, most of them bearing only the light curved sword of the region, which would do no good against a dragon anyway. Not that Skander cared to try issues even with these lightweights. Skander’s hide with its overlapping scales was able to withstand the blow of an avalanche, and he thought nothing of swords unless they were backed up with really powerful spells. But humans were sneaky; they’d seem to be aiming at a shoulder, and then, pow, you’d get an arrow in the eye. Somehow dragons, despite their ex­treme intelligence and centuries of experience, were prone to getting arrows in the eye. They never fully caught on to the trick that men used, of pretending to shoot in one direction and then actually shooting in another. It wasn’t according to dragon practice, and went against their idea of a warrior’s ethics.

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