Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming by Roger Zelazny and Robert Sheckley. Part 3

Chapter 1

After Brigitte released Azzie from his captivity, Ylith tied together two of her broomsticks with a stout straw rope and, with Azzie clinging behind her, rode them back to Augsburg. The sensation of the virile young demon clinging to her was very sweet to Ylith. She felt a frisson of delight when his claws, gripping her shoulders, acciden­tally brushed her breast. What bliss it was to ride with the beloved high above the clouds! For a while all thought of sin or sinner was forgotten, all question of good and evil put aside as she cavorted in the high blue of the sky, through violet-tinged clouds formed into fantastical shapes, melting and re­forming before her eyes. Azzie liked it, too, but urged her to hurry home. They had to recover the young couple from the Harpies.

Back at the mansion, Ylith had a chance to wash her hair and pin it up securely. Then she was ready for the journey.

Using a freshly charged broomstick, Ylith mounted the heights, flying alone now, darting and sweeping with quick control. The earth fell away, and soon she was in the sparkling realms of the sky. There she searched and searched, but not a sign of the Harpies could she discover. She circumnavigated the world by its outer edge and still did not find them. But then a slow-moving pelican appeared and told her, “You’re looking for the Harpies with the two stiffs? They told me to tell you they got bored and have parked the couple in a safe place and gone back to rejoin their sisters.”

“Did they say anything else?” Ylith asked, making slip­stream movements to keep her speed down to that of the slow-moving pelican.

“Just something about a mah-jongg game,” the pelican said.

“Didn’t they say where this safe place was?”

“Not a bit of it!” said the pelican. “I thought about re­minding them, but they were off, and there was no way I could overtake them. You know how fast they go with those new­fangled brazen wings.”

“In which direction did they fly?” Ylith asked.

“North,” the pelican said, motioning with his wing tip.

“True north or magnetic?”

“True north,” the pelican said.

“Then I think I know where they are,” Ylith said.

She turned her course to the north and piled on the speed, even though she knew the wind force would make her eyes red and unattractive. She overflew the land of the Franks in no time, then passed the deep fjord-pierced coast where Northmen still worshiped old gods and fought with hammers, axes, and other farm tools. She went past the lands of the Lapps, who sensed her passing as they trekked over the snow with their reindeer herds, but pretended not to see her since the best thing to do with ambiguous phenomena was to ignore them. And at last she came to the North Pole, the real one which existed within the imaginary point of true and absolute north and could not be reached by mortals. Slipping through the fold of reality in which it lay, she saw, below her, Father Christmas’ Village.

It was built upon the solid sheet of ice with which the North Pole was capped. The buildings that had been set up here were very fine indeed, being half-timbered and wainscoted. Over to one side Ylith could see the workshop, where Father Christmas’ gnomes made gifts of all sorts for mortals. These workshops are well known. What is less well known is the fact that there is a special room at the back where essences of good and evil are received from the secret storage places of Earth.

In each gift, a bit of good luck or a bit of bad luck was inserted. Exactly who got what kind of luck was a matter no one could tell. But it seemed to Ylith as she strolled through the workshop, watching the little men with their hammers and screwdrivers, that the process was more or less random. There was a hopper in the center of the big worktable, and into it fell glistening bits of good or bad luck, each of them like a little bouquet of herbs. A dwarf would reach in and insert the luck into the Christmas gift without even looking to see what it was.

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