Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming by Roger Zelazny and Robert Sheckley. Part 3

“Quick,” Azzie said. “Put in the eyes!”

The eyes fit into place easily. Another spell was necessary now, a vision-start-up spell, quite rare, but Supply had managed to find one. As Azzie chanted Princess Scarlet’s eyelids flittered, fluttered, then lifted. Her new eyes, of deepest sapphire, gazed out at the world. Her face took on expression, animation. She looked around and gave a soft moan.

“Who are you all?” Scarlet said. Her voice was loud and snappish, and conveyed in addition a sense of peevishness. Azzie didn’t like the sound of that. But luckily he didn’t have to love her. That was Charming’s task.

The Princess, a newly created being, had no memory. Now it was necessary to explain matters to her.

“Who are you?” Scarlet exclaimed again.

“Your uncle Azzie, of course,” Azzie said. “You remember me, surely?”

“Oh, sure,” Scarlet said, though of course she didn’t. Death had wiped her mind of its memories, the good and the bad alike, and returned her to the world a tabula rasa.

“What’s going on, Uncle Azzie? Where’s Mummy?”

That had been an expected question. All living creatures assume they had a mother and never take it into their heads that someone might have sewn them together out of a collection of parts.

“Mummy and Daddy,” Azzie said, “which is to say, Their Royal Highnesses, are under an enchantment.”

“Did you say ‘Royal Highnesses’?”

“Yes, my dear. You, of course, are a princess. Princess

Scarlet. You want to release your parents from their spell, don’t you?”

“What? Oh, sure,” Princess Scarlet said. “So I’m a prin­cess!”

“They can be released,” Azzie said, “only after you have been rescued from your own enchantment.”

“I’m under an enchantment?”

“That is correct, my dear.”

“Well-take it away, then!”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Azzie said. “I’m not the right person.”

“Oh. What sort of a spell am I under?”

“You are under a sleeping spell. You spend twenty-some hours a day either sleeping or napping. They call you the Nap­ping Princess. Only one man can break the spell. That is Prince Charming.”

“Prince Charming? Who’s that?”

“Nobody you’ve met before, my dear. Prince Charming is a fine, handsome young man of noble family who has just re­cently heard of your plight. He is on his way here to awaken you with a kiss and take you away to a life of bliss.”

Scarlet considered. “It sounds good. But are you sure I’m not dreaming this?”

“This is not a dream, except in the sense that all experience, waking or sleeping, living or dead, is possibly a dream. But leaving metaphysics aside, this is real and you have been en­chanted into sleeping. Believe me, trust me on this. Obviously you aren’t asleep at the moment, because I need to talk to you and advise you on a few things.”

“Maybe the spell isn’t working,” Scarlet said.

“I’m afraid it is,” Azzie said, surreptitiously taking out the sleep spell from his pouch and pressing the little pin that ac­tivated it.

Scarlet yawned. “You’re right, I am sleepy. But I haven’t even had dinner!”

“We’ll have it ready for you when you awaken,” Azzie said.

The Princess’ eyes closed and soon she was in a sound sleep. Azzie, under the watchful eye of Ylith, carried her to her bedroom and tucked her in.

Over the next few days it became apparent that Princess Scarlet was going to be difficult. She didn’t want to listen to Azzie. Not even Ylith, with her calm and intelligent ways, could get through to the girl, not even in the guise of her aunt. That Scarlet was beautiful, there was no doubt. Not least of her charms was the fact that her long dancer’s legs, olive brown and shapely beyond measure, carried an alabaster-white body topped with a blond head. Her dark legs gave Princess Scarlet the look of wearing silk stockings. This did nothing to harm her beauty.

But those long legs were a problem in themselves, and seemed to carry their own karma. The Princess was caught up with a dancing mania. Azzie had to try a number of spells before he could quench this.

But even under the napping spell, Princess Scarlet walked in her sleep, her long legs guiding her to the great downstairs ballroom, where she danced to flamenco music heard only by herself. Azzie had to take into account the Princess’ peregri­nations during sleep.

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