Terese closed her eyes. She guessed that she dozed off, because the next thing she knew was that Dr. Carol Glanz was calling her name.
“How do you feel?” Dr. Glanz asked.
Terese assured her she was fine thanks to the ice chips. She then asked about her baby.
Dr. Glanz took a deep breath and reached out and put her hand on Terese’s shoulder. “I’m afraid I have double bad news,” she said. Terese could feel herself tense.
“It was ectopic,” Dr. Glanz said, falling back on doctor jargon to make a difficult job a bit easier. “We had to terminate the pregnancy and, of course, the child was not viable.”
Terese nodded, ostensibly without emotion. She had expected as much and had tried to prepare herself. What she wasn’t prepared for was what Dr. Glanz said next.
“Unfortunately the operation wasn’t easy. There were some complications, which was why you were bleeding so profusely when you came into the emergency room. We had to sacrifice your uterus. We had to do a hysterectomy.”
At first Terese’s brain was unable to comprehend what she’d been told. She nodded and looked expectantly at the doctor as if she anticipated more information.
“I’m sure this is very upsetting for you,” Dr. Glanz said. “I want you to understand that everything was done that could have been done to avoid this unfortunate outcome.”
Sudden comprehension of what she’d been told jolted Terese. Her silent voice broke free from its bounds and she cried: “No!”
Dr. Glanz squeezed her shoulder in sympathy. “Since this was to be your first child, I know what this means to you,” she said. “I’m terribly sorry.”
Terese groaned. It was such crushing news that for the moment she was beyond tears. She was numb. All her life she had assumed she would have children. It had been part of her identity. The idea that it was impossible was too difficult to grasp.
“What about my husband?” Terese managed. “Has he been told?”
“He has,” Dr. Glanz said. “I spoke to him as soon as I’d finished the case. He’s downstairs in your room, where I’m sure you’ll be going momentarily.”
There was more conversation with Dr. Glanz, but Terese remembered little of it. The combined realization that she’d lost her child and would never be able to have another was devastating.
A quarter hour later an orderly arrived to wheel her to her room. The trip went quickly; she was oblivious to her surroundings. Her mind was in turmoil; she needed reassurance and support.
When she reached her room, Matthew was on his cellular phone. As a stockbroker, it was his constant companion.
The floor nurses expertly transferred Terese to her bed and hung her IV on a pole behind her head. After making sure all was in order and encouraging her to call if she needed anything, they left.
Terese looked over at Matthew, who had averted his gaze as he finished his call. She was concerned about his reaction to this catastrophe. They had been married for only three months.
With a definitive click Matthew flipped his phone closed and slipped it into his jacket pocket.
He turned to Terese and stared at her for a moment. His tie was loosened and his shirt collar unbuttoned.
She tried to read his expression but couldn’t. He was chewing the inside of his cheek.
“How are you?” he asked finally with little emotion.
“As well as can be expected,” Terese managed. She desperately wanted him to come to her and hold her, but he kept his distance.
“This is a curious state of affairs,” he said.
“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Terese said.
“Simply that the main reason we got married has just evaporated,” Matthew said. “I’d say your planning has gone awry.”
Terese’s mouth slowly dropped open. Stunned, she had to struggle to find her voice. “I don’t like your implication,” she said. “I didn’t get pregnant on purpose.”
“Well, you have your reality and I have mine,” Matthew said. “The problem is: What are we going to do about it?”
Terese closed her eyes. She couldn’t respond. It had been as if Matthew had plunged a knife into her heart.