“Thank you,” she said simply, watching him with her careful eyes.
His grin was sheepish. “It is a male thing.”
Her eyebrow shot up. “I thought jealousy was universal. I didn’t like seeing your arms around Mary Ann, but I thought it was because I was afraid for her.” She shrugged her shoulders, the movement strangely elegant.
Nicolae found everything about her intriguing and tempting. She touched him on so many levels, not the least of which was his instinct to protect. Destiny did not want a protector, didn’t believe she needed one.
But he saw the vulnerability around her soft mouth, saw so clearly the torment in her eyes. He could see the terrible struggle for sanity that she endured at each rising. Every cell in his body roared at him to take her into the shelter of his arms, to shield her with his body from every hurt. She stood there so bravely, admitting to him that it had bothered her when she saw him with Mary Ann in his arms. And she had confessed in order to make him feel better.
His grin widened foolishly before he could resume his customary mask. Warmth spread through his body and tugged at his heartstrings.
“MaryAnn is quite a woman. She has a gift or two of her own.” He was careful in choosing his words.
Destiny nodded. “I think that’s what drew me to her. MaryAnn isn’t even aware of her psychic ability. I felt the small surge of power each time she connected with a woman to counsel her. I spent a lot of time standing on the balcony of her office listening to her. Even her group sessions touched me.” She was admitting something to him she hoped he would comprehend. She recognized she couldn’t live a normal life and had tried to find a way to heal herself.
“You are not a monster, Destiny. Our people face many problems. Our men lose their ability to see in color, to feel emotion after two hundred years. Everything fades. In the old days, when our people were plentiful and our lifemates were close, it wasn’t so. Now we feel the scarcity of lifemates acutely. With no women to give us children, there was no hope for our dying race. Many of our males have chosen the momentary rush of power, the high of a kill over honor and a barren existence. That forces us to hunt them despite the fact that they are often family and friends. Each kill we make spreads the darkness until it consumes us. It is not an easy life, tormented by fading memories of color and laughter and what it was like to have genuine emotion.”
Destiny rubbed her temples. She didn’t like to think about his life, or touch on his memories. A barren life of gray and white, an endless desert stretching out in front of him. Until she had connected with him. She saw clearly his worry for Vikirnoff. She saw clearly his need of her.
“Some human women with psychic abilities are capable of being converted to our species. You are obviously one of those women. We need children. Our women, our children, are precious to us, true treasures. We protect them with everything in us. Our women and children are our only hope.”
“And that’s what the vampire did to me, right? He converted me. How?”
“It takes three blood exchanges, but with a lifemate, it’s not painful or terrible in the way you experienced. When we make love, it’s natural to share each other’s essence. To want our blood to flow in each other’s veins. It’s almost a compulsion. When we are with our lifemates, kissing them, skin against skin, exchanging blood is a beautiful need.”
His voice seemed to whisper over her, a soft temptation she couldn’t think about. “I see what you’re trying to say to me. I look into your mind and heart and I can see that you mean what you’re saying. I only wish this were all true, Nicolae, but it can never be for me. I believe that what you say about Carpathians is fact. I sense goodness in you, along with the crouching beast. But you and I both know I wasn’t converted by you. Or by a Carpathian male. I can smell tainted blood miles away. The stench is disgusting. Do you believe I can’t smell it on myself? In the cave, they called me to join them. You heard them calling me. Even the undead recognize what I am. Perhaps if one of your kind had converted me, I’d be all that you say, but it was a vampire, and his blood runs in my veins.”