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stick to drag miscreants in front of it. Vimes had always admired the simplicity of that arrangement.
‘Well, er, Sheriff Macklewheet, er, certainly gave you a most glowing reference,’ said the captain, shuffling the papers. ‘Very glowing. Things have been a little difficult since we lost Sergeant Wi-‘
‘And I’ll be paid my first month in advance, please. I need clothes and a decent meal and somewhere to sleep.’
Tilden cleared his throat. ‘Many of the unmarried men stay in the barracks in Cheapside-‘
‘Not me,’ said Vimes. ‘I’ll be lodging with Doctor Lawn in Twinkle Street.’ Well, Rosie Palm did suggest he had a spare room…
‘The pox hnah doctor?’ said Snouty.
‘Yeah, I’in particular about the company I keep,’ said Vimes.
‘It’s also just around the corner.’
He took his hands off the desk, stood back and whipped off a salute of almost parodic efficiency, the sort that Tilden had always loved.
‘I’ll report for duty at three o’clock tomo- this afternoon, sir,’
he said. Thank you, sir.’
Tilden sat mesmerized.
‘It was twentyfive dollars, sir, I believe,’ said Vimes, still maintaining the salute.
He watched the captain get up and go to the old green safe in the corner. The man was careful not to let Vimes see him turn the dial, but Vimes was pretty certain he didn’t need to. The safe had still been there when he made captain, and by then everyone knew the combination was 4-4-7-8 and that no one seemed to know how to change it. The only things worth keeping in it had been the tea and sugar and anything you particularly wanted Nobby to read.
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Tilden came back with a small leather bag and slowly counted out the money, and was so cowed that he didn’t ask Vimes to sign anything.
Vimes took it, saluted again, and held out his other hand.ƒ
‘Badge, sir,’ he said.
‘Ah? Oh, yes, of course…’
The captain, entirely unnerved, fumbled in the top drawer of the desk and pulled out a dull copper shield. If he’d been that observant, he’d have noticed how hungrily Vimes’s eyes
watched it.
The new sergeantatarms picked up his badge with care and saluted yet again. ‘Oath, sir,’ he said.
‘Oh, er, that thing? Er, I believe I’ve got it written down somewh-‘
Vimes took a deep breath. This probably wasn’t a good idea, but he was flying now.
‘I comma square bracket recruit’s name square bracket comma do solemnly swear by square bracket recruit’s deity of choice square bracket to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork comma serve the public truƒt comma and defend the ƒubjects of His ƒtroke Her bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket Majeƒty bracket name of reigning
monarch bracket without fear comma favour comma or thought of perƒonal ƒafety semicolon to purƒue evildoers and protect the innocent comma laying down my life if neceƒsary in the cauƒe of said duty comma so help me bracket aforeƒaid deity bracket full stop Gods Save the King stroke Queen bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket full stop.’
‘My word, well done,’ said Tilden. ‘You have come well
prepared, sergeant.’
‘And now it’s the King’s Shilling, sir,’ said Vimes insistently, soaring on wings of audacity.
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‘What?’
‘I have to take the King’s Shilling, sir.’
‘Er… do we have a-‘
‘It’s, hnah, in the bottom drawer, sir,’ said Snouty helpfully.
‘On the bit of string.’
‘Oh yes,’ said Tilden, beaming. ‘It’s a long time since we used that, what?’
‘Is it?’ said Vimes.
After some rummaging, Tilden produced the coin. It was a genuine old shilling, probably worth half a dollar now just for its silver and thus, coppers being coppers, it had always been dropped into the new copper’s hand and then tugged away before it was pinched.
Vimes had taken the oath once. He wondered if taking it twice cancelled it out. But it needed to be done and you had at least to touch the Shilling. He felt the weight in his palm and took a small shameful pleasure in closing his fingers on it before the captain had time to drag it back. Then, point made, he released the grip.
With a final salute he turned, and tapped Snouty on the shoulder. ‘With the captain’s permission, I’d like a chat with you outside, please.’
And Vimes strode out.
Snouty looked at Tilden, who was still sitting as though hypnotized, the Shilling dangling from his fist. The captain managed to say, ‘Good man, that. Ver’ good… got backbone
‘Hnah, I’ll just go an’ see what he wants, sir,’ said Snouty, and scuttled out.
He had reached the end of the corridor when a hand came out of the shadows and pulled him close.
‘You’re a useful man to know, Snouty,’ hissed Vimes. ‘I can tell.’
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‘Yessir,’ said Snouty, held half on tiptoe.
‘You’ve got your ear to the ground, eh?’
‘Yessir!’
‘There’s someone in every nick who knows all that’s going on and can lay his hands on just about anything, Snouty, and I think you are that man.’
‘Hnah, yessir!’
‘Then listen here,’ said Vimes. ‘Size eight boots, size seven andaquarter helmet, a good leather cape. The boots should be a good make but secondhand. Got that?’
‘Secondhand?’
‘Yes. Soles pretty nearly worn through.’
‘Soles pretty nearly worn through, hnah, check,’ said Snouty.
‘Breastplate not to have any rust on it but a few dents will be okay. A good sword, Snouty, and believe me I know a good sword when I hold one. As for all the rest of the stuff, well, I know a man like you can get hold of the very best and have it delivered to Dr Lawn’s place in Twinkle Street by ten this morning. And there’ll be something in it for you, Snouty.’
‘What’ll that be, sir?’ said Snouty, who was finding the grip uncomfortable.
‘My undying friendship, Snouty,’ said Vimes. ‘Which is going to be an extremely rare coin in these parts, let me tell you.’
‘Right you are, sarge,’ said Snouty. ‘And will you be wanting a bell, sir?’
‘A bell?’
‘For ringing and shouting, hnah, “all’s well!” with, sarge.’
Vimes considered this. A bell. Well, every copper still got a bell, it was down there in the regulations, but Vimes had banned its use on anything but ceremonial occasions.
‘No bell for me, Snouty,’ said Vimes. ‘Do you think things are
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well?’
Snouty swallowed. ‘Could go either way, sarge,’ he managed.
‘Good man. See you this afternoon.’
There was a glow of dawn in the sky when Vimes strode out, but the city was still a pattern of shadows.
In his pocket was the reassuring heaviness of the badge. And in his mind the huge, huge freedom of the oath. Ruler after ruler had failed to notice what a devious oath it was…
He walked as steadily as he could down to Twinkle Street. A couple of watchmen tried to waylay him, but he showed them the badge and more importantly he had the voice now, it had come back to him. It was night and he was walking the streets and he owned the damn streets and somehow that came out in the way he spoke. They’d hurried off. He wasn’t sure they’d believed him, but at least they’d pretended to; the voice had told them he could be the kind of trouble they weren’t paid enough to deal with.
At one point he had to step aside as a very thin horse dragged a huge and familiar fourwheeled wagon over the cobbles.
Frightened faces looked out at him from between the wide metal strips that covered most of it, and then it disappeared into the gloom. Curfew was claiming its nightly harvest.
These were not good times. Everyone knew Lord Winder was insane. And then some kid who was equally mad had tried to knock him off and would have done, too, if the man hadn’t moved at the wrong moment. His lordship had taken the arrow in the arm, and they said – they being the nameless people of the kind that everyone met in the pub – that the wound had poisoned him and made him worse. He suspected everyone and
everything, he saw dark assassins in every corner. The rumour was that he woke up sweating every night because they even got into his dreams.
And he saw plots and spies everywhere throughout his waking
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hours, and had men root them out, and the thing about rooting out plots and spies everywhere is that, even if there are no real plots to begin with, there are plots and spies galore very soon.
At least the Night Watch didn’t have to do much of the actual rooting. They just arrested the pieces. It was the special office in Cable Street that was the long hand of his lordship’s paranoia.
The Particulars, they were officially, but as far as Vimes could remember they’d revelled in their nickname of the