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discharged surplus magic if – or more usually when –
experiments in the hall below fouled up. Carrot, screened by all that, was not making such a good target.
Vimes raised his crossbow.
Thunder… rolled. It was the roll of a giant iron cube down the stairways of the gods, a crackling, thudding crash that tore the sky in half and shook the building.
Carcer glanced up, and saw Vimes.
‘Wotcha doin’, mifter?’
Buggy didn’t budge from the telescope. A crowbar wouldn’t have separated him at this point.
‘Shut up, ye daft corbies!’ he muttered.
Both men below had fired, and both men had missed because they were trying to fire and dodge at the same time.
Something hard prodded Buggy’s shoulder.
‘Wot’s happ’nin’, mifter?’ said the insistent voice.
He turned. There were a dozen bedraggled ravens behind him, looking like old men in illfitting black cloaks. They were Tower of Art birds. Hundreds of generations of living in a highly charged magical environment had raised the intelligence level of what had been bright creatures to begin with. But, although the ravens were intelligent, these ones weren’t hugely clever. They just had a more persistent kind of stupidity, as befitted birds for whom the exciting panorama of the city below was a kind of daytime TV.
‘Push off!’ shouted Buggy, and turned back to the telescope.
There was Carcer, running, and Vimes running after him, and here came the hail…
It turned the world white. It thudded around him and made his helmet ring. Hailstones as big as his head bounced on the stone and hit Buggy from underneath. Cursing, and shielding his face with his arms, and hammered all the time by shattering crystal
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balls, each one predicting a future of pain, he skidded and slid across the rolling ice. He reached an ivyhung arch between two lesser turrets, where the heron had already taken refuge, and fell inside. Frozen shrapnel still ricocheted in and stung him, but at least he could see and breathe.
A beak prodded him sharply in the back.
‘Wot’s happ’nin’ now, mifter?’
Carcer landed heavily on the arch between the student hall and the main buildings, almost lost his footing on the tiles, and hesitated. An arrow from a watchman below grazed his leg.
Vimes dropped down behind him, just as the hail hit.
Cursing and slipping, one man followed the other across the arch. Carcer reached a mass of ivy that led up on to the roof of the Library and scrambled up it, scattering ice below.
Vimes grabbed the ivy just as Carcer disappeared on to the flat roof. He looked round at a crash behind him, and saw Carrot trying to make his way along the wall from the High Energy Magic building. The hail was forming a halo of ice fragments around him.
‘Stay there!’ Vimes bellowed.
Carrot’s reply was lost in the noise.
Vimes waved his arms and then grabbed at the ivy as a foot slipped. ‘Bloody stay there!’ he yelled. ‘That is an order! You’ll go over!’
He turned and started up the wet, cold vines.
The wind dropped, and the last few hailstones bounced off the roof.
Vimes stopped a few feet from the top of the ivy, worked his feet firmly into footholds in the ancient, knotted stems, and reached up for a decent hold.
Then he thrust himself up, left hand ready, caught the boot
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that swung towards him and carried on rising, pushing Carcer off balance. The man sprawled backwards onthe slippery hail, tried to get to his feet, and slipped again. Vimes tugged himself on to the roof, stepped forward, and found his legs skidding away beneath him. Both he and Carcer got up, tried to move, and fell over again.
From a prone position the man landed a kick on Vimes’s
shoulder, sending both of them sliding away in opposite directions, and then turned over and scuttled on all fours around the Library’s big glass and metal dome. He grabbed the rusty frame, hauled himself upright, and pulled out a knife.
‘Come and get me, then,’ he said. There was another roll of thunder.
‘I don’t have to,’ said Vimes. ‘I just have to wait.’ At least until I get my breath back, he thought.
‘Why’re you picking on me? What’in I supposed to have
done?’
‘Couple of murders ring a bell?’ said Vimes.
If injured innocence was money, Carcer’s face was his
fortune. ‘I don’t know anything about-‘
‘I’in not up here to play games, Carcer. Knock it off.’
‘You going to take me alive, your grace?’
‘You know, I don’t want to. But people think it’s neater all round if I do.’
There was a clattering of tiles away on the left, and a thud as a huge siege bow was rested on the ridge of a nearby roof. The head of Detritus rose behind it.
‘Sorry about dat, Mister Vimes, hard to climb up in dat hail.
Jus’ stand back.’
‘You’re going to let it shoot me?’ said Carcer. He tossed the knife away. ‘An unarmed man?’
“Trying to escape,’ said Vimes. But this was starting to go
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bad. He could feel it.
‘Me? I’in just standing here, haha.’
And there it was. That bloody laugh, on top of that damn grin.
It was never far away. ‘Haha’ didn’t come close to doing it the injustice it deserved. It was more a sort of modulation to the voice, an irritatingly patronizing chortle that suggested that all this was somehow funny and you hadn’t got the joke.
Trouble was, you couldn’t shoot someone for having an
annoying laugh. And he was just standing there. If he ran, you could shoot him. Admittedly, it would be Detritus doing the shooting, and while with that bow it was technically possible to shoot to wound, the people you were wounding would probably be in the building next door.
But Carcer was just waiting there, insulting the world by his existence.
In fact he wasn’t merely standing there now. In one movement he’d swung himself on to the lower slopes of the Library’s dome.
The glass panes – at least, the glass panes that had survived the freak hail – creaked in the iron framework.
‘Stop right there!’ Vimes bellowed. ‘And come down!’
‘Now where could I go?’ said Carcer, grinning at him. ‘I’in just waiting for you to arrest me, right? Hey, I can see your house from up here!’
What’s under the dome? thought Vimes. How high are the
bookcases? There’s other floors in the Library, aren’t there? Like galleries? But you can definitely look up at the dome from the ground floor, right? If you were careful, could you swing on to a gallery from the edge of the dome? It’d be risky, but if a man knew he was going to swing anyway…
Picking his way with care, he reached the edge of the dome.
Carcer climbed up a little further.
‘I warn you, Carcer-‘
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‘Only high spirits, Mister Grace, haha! Can’t blame a man for trying to enjoy his last few minutes of freedom, can you?’
‘I can see your house from up here…
Vimes hauled himself on to the dome. Carcer cheered.
‘Well done, your Vimes!’ he said, easing himself towards the top.
‘Don’t mess me about, Carcer. It’ll go badly for you!’
‘Badder than it’s going to go anyway?’ Carcer glanced down through a smashed pane. ‘Long way down, Mister Vimes. I reckon a man’d die instantly falling all that way, wouldn’t he?’
Vimes glanced down, and Carcer leapt.
It didn’t go the way he’d planned. Vimes had been tensed for something like this. After a complicated moment, Carcer was lying on the iron latticework, one arm under him, the other outflung and being banged heavily on the metal by Vimes. The knife it had held skidded away down the dome.
‘Gods, you must think I’in stupid,’ Vimes growled. ‘You wouldn’t throw away a knife. Carcer, if you didn’t have another one!’
Vimes’s face was close to the man’s now, close enough to look into the eyes above that chirpy grin and watch the demons waving.
‘You’re hurting me, and that’s not allowed!’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, Carcer,’ said Vimes. ‘I want to see you in front of his lordship. I just want to hear you admit something for once. I just want to see that bloody cheeky grin wiped off your face. Sergeant Detritus!’
‘Sah!’ shouted the troll, from his distant ridge.
‘Make a signal. I want people up here now. Me and Carcer are just going to stay nice and quiet here, so’s he doesn’t try any tricks.’
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‘Right, sir.’ With another distant clatter of doomed tiles, the troll disappeared from view.
‘You shouldn’t have sent Captain Carrot away,’ muttered Carcer. ‘He doesn’t like watchmen bullying innocent civilians-‘
‘It is true that he has yet to master some of the finer details of de facto street policing,’ said Vimes, maintaining his grip.