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promote me any further. There’s nothing left to bribe me with.
I’ve got more than I deserve. The Watch is working well. We don’t even need a new bloody dartboard-‘
‘In memory of the late John Keel-‘ Vetinari began.
‘I warned you-‘
‘-I can give you back Treacle Mine Road.’
Only the highpitched squeak of bats, hunting around the poplars, broke the silence that followed.
Then Vimes muttered: ‘A dragon burned it years ago. Some dwarfs live in the cellars now.’
‘Yes, commander. But dwarfs… well, dwarfs are so
refreshingly open about money. The more money the city offers, the less dwarf there is. The stable’s still there, and the old mining tower. Stout stone walls all around. It could all be put back, commander. In memory of John Keel, a man who in a few short days changed the lives of many and, perhaps, saved some sanity in a mad world. Why, in a few months you could light the lamp over the door.’
Again, all that could be heard was the bats.
Perhaps they could even bring back the smell, Vimes thought.
Perhaps there could be a window above the privy that’d spring open if you thumped it just right. Perhaps they could teach new coppers to learn old tricks-
‘We could do with the space, it’s true,’ he conceded, with some effort.
‘I can see you like the sound of it already,’ said Vetinari. ‘And if you care to come along to my office tomorrow we can settle the-‘
‘There’s a trial tomorrow,’ said Vimes sharply.
‘Ah, yes. Of course. And it will be a fair one,’ said the Patrician.
‘It’d better be,’ said Vimes. ‘I want this bastard to hang, after
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all.’
‘Well, then,’ said Vetinari, ‘afterwards we could-‘
‘Afterwards I’in going home to my family for a while,’ said Vimes.
‘Good! Well said,’ said Vetinari, not missing a beat. ‘You have a gift, I have noticed, for impressive oratory.’ And Vimes heard the gentle note of warning as he added, ‘At this time, commander, and in this place.’
‘That’s sergeantatarms, thank you,’ said Vimes. ‘For now.’
He grabbed Carcer’s shirt collar, and dragged him to justice.
On the way back to Scoone Avenue, in the dark of night, Vimes walked along the alley behind Clay Lane and stopped when he reckoned he was at a point halfway between the backs of the pawn shop and the shonky shop, and therefore behind the temple.
He threw his cigar stub over the fence. He heard it land on gravel, which moved a little.
And then he went home. And the world turned towards
morning.