“Here’s some,” an honest soul remarked, thrusting a fistful of bills down before my face.
ENO by ENO, a number of others were handed to me. Fortunately, the anticipation of this effect had been part of my earlier meditations, so that my reversed face showed no signs of surprise as I rose and thanked them. The only bill that looked normal to me was the one I had carried in my hand.
“Did you go through that thing?” a man asked.
“No. I went around behind it.”
“Sure looked like you went through.”
“No. I didn’t.”
As I accepted money and pretended to look for more, I did a rapid scan of the entire hall. The less honest folks with a few of my dollars in their pockets were heading out the doors, which were now in positions opposite those they had occupied when I had entered. But for this, too, had I prepared myself-at least intellectually. Now, though, I wondered. If was emotionally disconcerting, seeing the whole hall in reverse like that. And those departing were getting out without difficulty, for the guards were otherwise occupied: two were stuck in the crowd and two were collecting bills. I debated making a run for it.
At first, I had been all set to brazen it out with the guards or anyone else involved, matching nastiness or officiousness with a greater obnoxiousness over my missing money and an insistence that I had gone around rather than through the device. I had decided that I could stick to that format and sit out any consequences. After all, I did not believe that I had done anything grossly illegal- and no matter what happened, they could not take back the reversal.
Instead, they were nice about it. One of them got the alarm shut off and another shouted at everyone to turn in any money they had recovered as they departed the hall. Then two of them moved to cover the doors again, and the one who had done the hollering sought me with his eyes, found me and raised his voice once more: “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” I said,
“I’m all right. But my money-“
“We’re getting it! We’re getting it!”
He plowed his way through to my side, laid his hand on my shoulder. I hastily pocketed the one bill that looked normal to me.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Of course. But I’m missing-“
“We are trying to recover it,” he said. “Did you go through the center part of that machine?”
“No,” I said. “A bill blew past it, though, and I chased it.”
“It looked like you went through the center unit.”
“He went around behind it,” said one of the men I had told that to, as neatly timed as if he had been sitting on my knee with a monocle in one eye, bless him.
“Yes,” I said.
“Oh. You didn’t get any shocks or anything like that, did you?”
“No, but I got my dollar.”
“That’s good.” He sighed. “Glad we don’t have to fill out an accident report. What happened, anyway?”
“A guy bumped me and my bag tore. I had the morning’s receipts in it. My boss will take it out of my pay if-“
“Let’s go see how much has been collected.”
We did, and I got back ninety-seven dollars, almost enough to let me think a good thought about my fellow man and throw in a brass button for providence for having run a very tight ship so far that day. I left a phony name and address for them to contact, should any other bills turn up, thanked them several times, apologized for the disturbance and got out.
Traffic, I noticed immediately, was proceeding up and down the wrong sides of the street. Okay, I could live with that. The signs in store windows were all backward. Okay. That, too.
I started out for the bench where I had stashed my coat receipt. I drew up short after a dozen paces.
It had to be the wrong direction, because it felt right.
I stood there then and tried to visualize the whole city as reversed. It was more difficult than I had thought it would be. My roast beef and beer-now reversed-churned in my innards, and I wanted to grab hold of something and hang on. I fought everything back into place, or what seemed like place, and turned. Yes. Better. The trick was to navigate by landmarks and pretend I was shaving. Think of it all as in a mirror. I wondered whether a dentist would have an advantage at something like this, or if his ability only extended to the insides of mouths. No matter. I had figured out where the bench was.