But when it reached the chorus, beginning with “Beau— ootiful Soo—oop!” it lost its balance and fell heavily on its back, still singing. There was some consternation then until six androids turned it over. After which it resumed crawling and singing.
Star Spoon said, “I think I’ll go sit down for a while, Dick. I’m tired, and these animals” —she nodded at the Gryphon— “look so dangerous. I know they’re not, but …”
“Very well, I’ll check on you later,” Burton said.
He watched her walk to the west end of the field and sit down in a very comfortable chair. A very fat, bald-headed and old-looking android—it had to be Father William—came to her side. It must have asked her if she wanted anything, because she nodded and her mouth moved.
Burton walked around and looked at the Queen of Hearts and the other androids fashioned to simulate the living pack of cards. From the front, they looked exactly like Tenniel’s drawings, but they presented a much thicker profile, about three inches wide, he estimated. The Computer could do only so much in making a reality of fantasy. The things had to have space for muscles and organs and blood. Their faces were painted on the oblong bodies, but, though the painted mouths did not move, voices issued from them.
“Marvelous!” Burton said.
Aphra Behn happened to be standing near him. She said, “Yes, aren’t they? It’s such a childish conceit, however. Not that I disparage Alice for all this. We’ve struggled so hard to get here, endured so many dangers and tribulations, that we’ve relaxed and become children again for a while. We have to play, don’t you think?”
“The playtime, unfortunately is over,” he said. “What happened to Turpin and Frigate may happen to us.”
He went to a table and ordered a glass of Scotch from one of the living chess pieces, a Castle. He also got a fine Havana pana-tela. Cigar in one hand, glass in the other, he strolled over to the croquet field. The field was as in the book, ridges and furrows with bent-over card-androids serving as arches, flamingoes as mallets, and rolled-up hedgehogs as balls. Since Alice was not cruel or callous, she must have made arrangements in the neural systems of the birds and animals that would prevent them from being hurt.
Turpin seemed to have forgotten his troubles; he was having a good time at croquet.
An hour passed. Burton had two more Scotches. He took rides on the merry-go-round and again on the rollercoaster and watched the orchestra for a while. Most of the musicians were Frog- and Fish-Footmen, but the conductor was Bill the Lizard, a giant saurian smoking a cigar and wearing a flat cap. They had been programmed to play any kind of music from waltzes to dixieland to classical. At the moment, they were blasting out a wild barbaric piece that Burton thought must be the rock-and-roll described by Frigate. After listening for a while, he could understand why Frigate had been tempted to erase all of this type of music from the records.
An ugly Duchess and a Queen of Hearts waddled by him.
“Off with their heads! Off with their heads!”
“Beat him until he sneezes!”
Burton went back to the croquet field, played a game, wandered around, stopping to chat with several people, and then watched the Mad Tea Party for a while. The child-android playing Alice was charming; the large dark eyes had the real Alice’s dreaminess. Burton could understand why Mr. Dodgson had fallen in love with the ten-year-old girl.
When the Mad Hatter said, “And ever since that, he won’t do a thing I ask! It’s always six o’clock now,” Burton walked away. It was amusing to watch them go through the whole scene once, but the repetition was boring.
Feeling in need of exercise, he played volleyball for a while. The game was fun and vigorous, and he loved to watch Bill Williams’ woman leap into the air to bat a ball back. Then, sweating, he walked to a chair and sat down. A Tweedledee and a Tweedledum asked him what he wanted. He ordered a mint julep. The two grotesquely fat androids went to a table and there had an argument—programmed in, of course—about which one would serve him. While their heated and amusing discussion was going on, he watched the blue caterpillar on a nearby giant mushroom smoking its hookah. In a way, he thought, it was a pity that all these things were to be destroyed. Yet, he could understand why Alice had tired of them.
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