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GODS OF RIVERWORLD by Philip Jose Farmer

“Taurus builds. Your positive qualities make you loyal, dependable and patient. But you have to battle against excessive pride, self-indulgence and greediness.”

“Not to my knowledge,” Alice said quietly.

“The second house OK with you?”

“Of course.”

Frigate spoke to Thomas Million Turpin, who was smoking a panatela and holding a glass of bourbon.

“You were born on May 21, 1873, under the sign of Gemini, the Twins. You’re ruled by Mercury, and you’re strong on communication. You’re versatile, genial and creative.”

“Keep talking, man!”

“But your negative qualities … uh … you’re two-faced, superficial and unstable.”

“That’s a damn lie! I never been two-faced, I always been straightforward. Where’d you get that shit?”

“Nobody said that you were,” Frigate said. “What that indicates is that you have had to overcome those tendencies.”

“I ain’t two-faced. I’m just discreet and polite. No use hurting someone’s feelings if you don’t have to. It don’t pay.”

“The third house agreeable with you?”

“One’s good as another and maybe better.”

“We don’t have anybody born under Cancer,” Frigate said. “Not yet, anyway. The fifth house is Leo the Lion, representing vitality and ruled by the sun. Leo dramatizes. That’s you, Marcelin. Born August 18, 1782.”

“So far, excellent,” de Marbot said. “I am all those.”

“A Leo is regal …”

“True!”

“… entertaining …”

“Doubly true!”

“… and commanding.”

“Triply true.”

“The bad qualities, alas, are that Leo is pompous, domineering and conceited.”

The Frenchman reddened and scowled; the others burst out laughing.

“He got you there!” Turpin said.

“Leo, the fifth house, OK?” Frigate said.

“If it is understood that we are merely amusing ourselves with this parlor game of astrology and that, though I may be a leader, I am not domineering, and though I have much to boast about but do not, I am not conceited, and that never, never am I pompous!”

“Nobody’11 argue with you,” Frigate said ambiguously. “Now we come to the sixth house, Virgo, the virgin. Ruled also by Mercury, the communicator. Virgo analyzes. That’s you, Aphra, born September 22, 1640. Virgo is practical, analytical, intellectual.”

“I’ve never been any of those,” Aphra said.

“Virgo is also critical, hypochondriacal and prim.”

She laughed uproariously.

“I, with my reputation and my bawdy dramas?”

“The sixth house OK?”

“Why not?”

“Why not?” dc Marbot said. “I ask, why not? We have been living together, my little cabbage, and I am delighted and content. Now … sacrebleu … -we will no longer share a bed and a roof. Have you not thought of that? If not, why not? Are you tired of me?”

She patted him on the arm. “Not at all, my bantam cock, not at all. But… well… we are always with each other, never out of each other’s sight. It’s possible, only possible, I say, after all, we’re human, that such close and continuous intimacy may pall after a while. Besides … I like the idea of having my own world. We can build our own, each to our own desire, and still be with each other whenever we wish. I will stay one night in your world. You, the next night, in mine. We can pretend that we are a king and a queen making state visits to each other’s monarchy.”

“I do not know about that,” he said.

Aphra shrugged. “Well, if it doesn’t work out, we can live together as before. Surely, Marcelin, you are not afraid of this venture?”

“I? Afraid? Never! Very well, Peter, I will take up residence in the fifth house and Aphra in the sixth. After all, we will be next-door neighbors.”

“With a thick wall between you. Walls make good neighbors.”

“But poor lovers,” Burton said.

“You are too cynical, my friend,” de Marbot said.

“Libra and Scorpio, the seventh and eighth houses, will have to be empty for the time being,” Frigate said. “The ninth is Sagittarius, the archer, ruled by Jupiter, the dominant mode being expansion. Sagittarius philosophizes. Which is appropriate, since you, Nur, are Sagittarius. You are, according to the ancient science, jovial, prophetic and logical.”

“And more,” Nur said.

“You have the negative qualities of bluntness, fanaticism and intolerance.”

“Had. I conquered those in my .late youth.”

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curiosity: