Homicide Trinity by Rex Stout

The Homicide Trinity 197

naps, but the woman that stayed with me wouldn’t turn

the lights out, and every two hours they came back and

started in again. Cops are too mean to live, and they’re

too dumb. They might have known I wouldn’t speak to

a cop.”

“Didn’t you speak at all?”

“No. Didn’t I say I wouldn’t?”

“Not a word?”

“No. The worst part was I was hungry. They brought

some stuff twice last night and again this morning, but

of course I wouldn’t touch it. I don’t know what kind of

drug they had in it, something to make me talk.”

“You haven’t eaten at all?”

“Of course not.”

Wolfe grunted. “That’s ridiculous. We have a spare

room that is comfortable. Mr. Goodwin will take you to

it, and my chef will take you a tray. After your fast you

should eat with caution. Have you a preference?”

She cocked her head. “You bet I have, Falstaff. Let

the lady enjoy herself. I know about your chef. How

about some lamb kidneys bourguignonne?”

Wolfe doesn’t flabbergast easy, but that did it. He

stared. “That would take time, mad—Miss Annis. At

least two hours.”

“I don’t mind, I’ll take a nap. Is there a bathroom?”

“Certainly.”

“Then I can wash the smell of the cops off. But the

other thing I want to know, what about the reward? We

want that reward.”

“That’s problematical. I’ll keep it in mind. We have a

more urgent matter to deal with. After you are

refreshed—”

“What matter?”

“The job you hired me for. Investigation of the mur-

der committed in your house.”

“I hired you to make the cops eat dirt, and you

already have. The one named Cramer, is he a big one

with a big red face and little blue eyes like a pig?”

“Pigs’ eyes are not blue. Otherwise the description

fits.”

198 Rex Stout

“Then you’ve already made him eat dirt. I wish I had

been here. He was the first one in my room when they

busted the door. That’s part of your job, to make them

pay for that door. The murder, that’s their job. I’m

surprised it was Tammy Baxter because I thought a

counterfeiter would have more clothes, but of course

when somebody came for the package and it wasn’t

there he thought she had taken it and he killed her, but

she should have known I had it because I told her

yesterday morning—”

The phone rang and I swiveled and got it. A female

said that Mr. Mandel wanted to speak to me, and after a

wait he came on.

“Goodwin? Mandel of the District Attorney’s office. I

want to see you. How soon can you be here?”

“Twenty minutes. If necessary.”

“It’s necessary. It’s ten minutes past twelve. I’ll ex-

pect you at twelve-thirty. Right?”

I told him yes, traffic permitting, hung up, and arose.

“The DA’s office,” I announced. “I’m surprised it didn’t

come sooner. You don’t need me anyway, you under-

stand each other so well.”

I left them.

Chapter 8

They kept me at 155 Leonard Street five and a half

hours. All I got out of it was two corned beef

sandwiches, a piece of blueberry pie, and two

glasses of milk, on the house, eaten at the desk of

assistant DA Mandel. What they got out of it was

doubtful. In addition to Mandel, I had conversations

with another assistant DA named Lindstrom, two de-

tectives attached to the DA’s office, and District Attor-

ney Macklin himself.

Over the years I have been suspected of a lot of

The Homicide Trinity 199

things by various authorities, from corrupting a cop by

buying him a drink to complicity in a murder, and that

day they added a new one to the list. None of them came

right out with it, but what was really biting them was

their suspicion that I was in collusion with the United

States government. Of course they covered other as-

pects of the case, all of them and thoroughly, but what

they concentrated on was the package of phony lettuce.

That was all the DA himself asked me about, and he put

it to me point-blank: did I know the money was coun-

terfeit? I told him point-blank no, and felt better; it’s

always a relief to get a lie off your chest. He said of

course I was lying, that I would have been a nitwit not

to suspect it. I said it didn’t matter now anyway, since

the Secret Service had it, and he blew his top. I admit

it’s hard to believe that he actually thought I had dis-

posed of evidence in a murder case by arranging for

Leach to beat Cramer to it, but I suppose a DA has as

much right to be a damfool as the people who voted for

him.

It was a quarter past six when I left the building and

flagged a taxi. By the time it turned into 35th Street I

had decided that I wouldn’t wait until after dinner to go

for Wolfe. He was too darned lazy to live. Since, thanks

to me, Hattie had told him that he had already made

Cramer eat dirt, he would consider that no matter what

happened or didn’t happen he could send her a bill for a

modest hunk of the forty-two thousand, say five grand,

and why should he strain his brain? She was out on bail

as a material witness and in no real danger. We had got

rid of the contraband. There was no great hurry. Nuts,

I decided. He had to be poked. As I mounted the stoop

and put my key in the door I was choosing my opening

remark from three I had hatched.

But I didn’t get to use it. The rack in the hall was so

crowded with coats that I had to squeeze mine between

two that I recognized—Inspector Cramer’s and Saul

Panzer’s. Cramer’s voice was raised in the office, and it

was hoarse, as it always was when he was in a huff. As

I reached the office door he was saying, “. . . not just

Rex Stout

to hear you spout! If you’ve got something let’s have

it!”

Wolfe, seated behind his desk with his fingers laced

at the summit of his middle mound, had sent his eyes to

me. “Ah,” he said. “Satisfactory. I was concerned.”

Sure he was. The bigger the audience the better

when he is staging a scene. Before I headed for my desk

I glanced around: Cramer in the red leather chair,

Sergeant Stebbins at his right, Paul Hannah and Noel

Ferns on chairs facing Wolfe’s desk, Raymond Dell and

Albert Leach, the T-man, behind them, and Martha

Kirk and Hattie Annis on the couch to the left of my

desk. Saul Panzer was over by the big globe. As I

circled around Leach and Dell, Wolfe was speaking.

“You know quite well I have something, Mr. Cramer,

or you wouldn’t have come. As I told you on the phone,

I had a stroke of luck, but I had invited it; and I knew

where to send the invitation. True, I sent it to three

addresses—an East Side tenement, a shop on First

Avenue, and a building on Bowie Street which housed

the theater—but my expectation was centered on the

last. When my expectation was realized I was faced

with the question whether to notify you or to notify Mr.

Leach; and preferring not to choose, I asked you both to

come and to bring Miss Kirk, Mr. Dell, Mr. Ferris, and

Mr. Hannah. Miss Annis, my client, was here. I thought

the first three had a right to be present; as for Mr.

Hannah, since he is both a counterfeiter and a mur-

derer, you and Mr. Leach will have to decide—”

“That’s a lie,” Hannah said, and was rising, but

Leach, behind him, grabbed his arm. Hannah jerked,

but Leach held on. “Who the hell are you?” Hannah

demanded, and with his free hand Leach got his leather

fold from his pocket and flipped it open, and by then

Stebbins was there.

“Are you arresting him?” Stebbins said.

“No, are you?” Leach asked.

“Nobody’s arresting me,” Hannah said. “Turn loose

of me.”

“Sit down, Hannah,” Cramer growled. He looked at

The Homicide Trinity 201

Wolfe. He had seen Wolfe perform before, and Leach

hadn’t. Not only had he heard Wolfe say that Hannah

was a counterfeiter and a murderer, but also he saw the

expression on Wolfe’s face, and he certainly knew that

face. He left his chair, put his hand on Hannah’s shoul-

der, and said, “You’re under arrest as a material wit-

ness in the murder of Tamiris Baxter. All right,

Sergeant,” and returned to his chair. Stebbins stood at

Hannah’s left and Leach stood at his right.

“That’s prudent, Mr. Cramer,” Wolfe said, “since I

have no conclusive evidence. Up to three hours ago I

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