How Tell a Story and Others by Mark Twain

for help.

“What do you suppose the gentleman did? But you would not guess in

twenty years. He took out a handful of gold coin and told me to help

myself–freely. That is what he did.”

The next morning the lieutenant told me his new letter of credit had

arrived in the night, so we strolled to Cook’s to draw money to pay back

the benefactor with. We got it, and then went strolling through the

great arcade. Presently he said, “Yonder they are; come and be

introduced.” I was introduced to the parents and the young ladies; then

we separated, and I never saw him or them any m—

“Here we are at Farmington,” said Twichell, interrupting.

We left the trolley-car and tramped through the mud a hundred yards or so

to the school, talking about the time we and Warner walked out there

years ago, and the pleasant time we had.

We had a visit with my niece in the parlor, then started for the trolley

again. Outside the house we encountered a double rank of twenty or

thirty of Miss Porter’s young ladies arriving from a walk, and we stood

aside, ostensibly to let them have room to file past, but really to look

at them. Presently one of them stepped out of the rank and said:

“You don’t know me, Mr. Twichell; but I know your daughter, and that

gives me the privilege of shaking hands with you.”

Then she put out her hand to me, and said:

“And I wish to shake hands with you too, Mr. Clemens. You don’t remember

me, but you were introduced to me in the arcade in Milan two years and a

half ago by Lieutenant H.”

What had put that story into my head after all that stretch of time? Was

it just the proximity of that young girl, or was it merely an odd

accident?

THE INVALID’S STORY

I seem sixty and married, but these effects are due to my condition and

sufferings, for I am a bachelor, and only forty-one. It will be hard for

you to believe that I, who am now but a shadow, was a hale, hearty man

two short years ago, a man of iron, a very athlete! –yet such is the

simple truth. But stranger still than this fact is the way in which I

lost my health. I lost it through helping to take care of a box of guns

on a two-hundred-mile railway journey one winter’s night. It is the

actual truth, and I will tell you about it.

I belong in Cleveland, Ohio. One winter’s night, two years ago, I

reached home just after dark, in a driving snow-storm, and the first

thing I heard when I entered the house was that my dearest boyhood friend

and schoolmate, John B. Hackett, had died the day before, and that his

last utterance had been a desire that I would take his remains home to

his poor old father and mother in Wisconsin. I was greatly shocked and

grieved, but there was no time to waste in emotions; I must start at

once. I took the card, marked “Deacon Levi Hackett, Bethlehem,

Wisconsin,” and hurried off through the whistling storm to the railway

station. Arrived there I found the long white-pine box which had been

described to me; I fastened the card to it with some tacks, saw it put

safely aboard the express car, and then ran into the eating-room to

provide myself with a sandwich and some cigars. When I returned,

presently, there was my coffin-box back again, apparently, and a young

fellow examining around it, with a card in his hands, and some tacks and

a hammer! I was astonished and puzzled. He began to nail on his card,

and I rushed out to the express car, in a good deal of a state of mind,

to ask for an explanation. But no–there was my box, all right, in the

express car; it hadn’t been disturbed. [The fact is that without my

suspecting it a prodigious mistake had been made. I was carrying off a

box of guns which that young fellow had come to the station to ship to a

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