NIGHT TRAIN BY MARTIN AMIS

Inside, five detectives, two squad supervisors and the Dep Comm were wondering how to get this show downtown without a prime-time riot. Meanwhile they were questioning a twenty-eight-year-old female, LaDonna, and her boyfriend, DeLeon. A decade ago, a month ago, in recounting this, I would have said that she was a PR and he was a Jake. Which is true. But suffice it to say that they were people of color. Also present, sitting on kitchen chairs and swinging their white-socked feet, were two silent little girls of thirteen and fourteen, Sophie and Nancy—LaDonna’s kid sisters. LaDonna also maintained that it was her baby and her Igloo.

It’s kind of an average Oxville scenario: The fam­ily is enjoying a picnic (this is January), the toddler wanders off (wearing only a diaper), they start search­ing for him (in this open field), and are unsuccessful (and go home). Forgetting the Igloo. According to LaDonna, the explanation stares you in the face. The toddler eventually returned and climbed into the pic­nic cooler and pulled the lid down (engaging the exter­nal catch) and suffocated. Whereas the ME’s initial finding, soon to be confirmed by autopsy, is that the child died of strangulation. According to DeLeon, things are a little more complicated. As they were leav­ing the recreational facility, their search abandoned, they saw a gang of white skinheads—known nazis and drugdealers—climb out of a truck and head for that part of the open field where the child was last seen.

We’re all sitting there, listening to these two brain surgeons, but I’m watching the girls. I’m watching Sophie and Nancy. And the whole thing went trans­parent. This was all it took: From the adjoining bed­room came the sound of a baby’s cry. A baby waking, dirty or hungry or lonely. LaDonna kept talking—she never skipped a beat—but Sophie rose an inch from her seat for a second, and Nancy’s face suddenly swelled with hatred. Immediately I saw:

LaDonna was not the mother of the murdered boy. She was his grandmother.

Sophie and Nancy were not LaDonna’s kid sisters. They were her daughters.

Sophie was the mother of the waking baby in the bedroom. Nancy was the mother of the baby in the Igloo.

Sophie was the murderess.

It was down. We even got a motive: Earlier the same day, Nancy had taken Sophie’s last diaper.

I was on the six o’clock news that night, nation­wide.

“This murder was not about race,” I reassured 150 million viewers. “This murder was not about drugs.” Everyone can relax. “This murder was about a diaper.”

There are three things I didn’t tell Trader Faulkner.

I didn’t tell Trader that, in my view, Jennifer’s let­ter was not the work of a woman under terminal stress. I’ve seen a hundred suicide notes. They have things in common. They express insecurity—and they are barren, arid. “Serzone, depecote, tegretol—they sound like moral stances.” Toward the finish of the lives of suicides, more or less all their thoughts are self-lacerating. Whether they soothe or snarl, cringe or strut, suicide notes do not seek to entertain.

I didn’t tell Trader that with an affective, or emo­tional, disorder the sexual drive sharply declines. Nor did I add that with an ideational, or organic, disorder it almost invariably disappears. Unless the mania is itself sexual. Which gets noticed.

I didn’t tell Trader about Arn Debs. Not just because I didn’t have the heart. But because I never

believed in Am Debs. I didn’t believe in Arn Debs for a single second. Time 1:45.

Random thoughts:

Homicide can’t change—and I don’t mean the department. It can evolve. It can’t change. There’s nowhere for homicide to go.

But what if suicide could change?

Murder can evolve in the direction of increasing disparity—new dis murders.

Upward disparity:

Sometime in the Fifties a man made a homicidal breakthrough. He planted and detonated a bomb on a commercial airliner: To kill his wife.

A man could bring down—perhaps has brought down—a 747: To kill his wife.

The terrorist razes a city with a suitcase H-bomb:

To kill his wife.

The President entrains central thermonuclear

war: To kill his wife.

Downward disparity:

Every cop in America is familiar with the super-savagery of Christmas Day domestics. On Christmas Day, everyone’s home at the same time. And it’s a dis­aster … We call them “star or fairy?” murders: People get to arguing about what goes on top of the tree. Here’s another regular: Fatal stabbings over how you carve the bird.

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