Pandora’s Legions by Christopher Anvil

The staff officer stopped reading, and Monnik said, “Let’s see that.” He read it over, then looked up blankly.

“What’s an ‘Earthman’?”

The officer looked perplexed. “Sir, we’ve had our hands so full here, I guess I haven’t kept up with things. It sounds like some kind of alien to me, sir.”

Monnik, puzzled, ran his hand through the fur at the base of his neck. “If I remember correctly, we have a few men in the Headquarters Guard who were transferred from a planet called ‘Earth.’ Get hold of them, and see what they can tell you.”

“Yes, sir.”

“When is this ‘Able Hunter’ going to get here?”

“His ship came down at the spacefield a few hours ago, sir. He’s on his way out here by ground-car right now.”

“All right. Give me that summary, and go find out about Earth.”

“Yes, sir.”

Monnik braced himself, and looked over the sector-by-sector summary of the situation. Not much had happened overnight, but the new day was starting with a bang. Monnik’s defense rested on a network of improvised fortifications in the south, and a river along most of the rest of his front. Behind the river was a chain of formidable mountains, a strip of coastal lowland, and the sea. Monnik was fighting to hold the river line. The enemy was using every stratagem and maneuver to pry him out of it.

Last week, the enemy concentrated his artillery south of the big bend of the river, and under protection of the artillery swung a pontoon bridge across. Monnik rushed reinforcements to the scene, and concentrated his own artillery. The enemy established a bridgehead. Monnik blew up the bridge, and plastered the bridgehead with a heavy bombardment.

Now, though the firing from both sides still went on, the summary in Monnik’s hands told him that the enemy had secretly started the bulk of his artillery south during the night, and was at present rushing this rolling concentration of firepower down the river road at all possible speed.

Farther to the south was Monnik’s network of improvised fortifications. If the enemy could get there first with his artillery, it would mean serious trouble for Monnik.

Monnik gave the necessary orders to start the bulk of his own artillery moving south. He then went inside to study the map table and was confronted with a bulging excess of symbols on the other side of the river, and a depressing scarcity of them on his own side. Venturesome plans just starting to germinate deep in his consciousness withered at the mere sight of the map.

Monnik was moodily contemplating the superiority of enemy numbers and equipment when he heard a ground-car come slamming up the trail of ruts and potholes that served as the road to his headquarters.

A few moments later, the door opened up to let in a strongly built alien with the insignia of a general—grade III—and member of the Supreme Staff. Monnik was absorbing the sight of this tailless, practically furless, wide-browed creature, when the creature looked directly at him, and said, “I’m Able Hunter.”

“Tark Monnik,” said Monnik automatically.

Able Hunter handed over his identification and a set of vague orders assigning him to Monnik’s command “for purposes of consultation and technical assistance.”

Hunter remarked, “I understand you’ve got a little trouble here.”

Monnik grunted. “They’ve got us with one hand, and they’ve got an axe in the other hand. All they need is to get our neck on the block for about five seconds.”

“Is that the present situation on the map table over there?”

“That’s it.”

Hunter looked over the map intently. After a while, he walked around and looked at it from the other side. He grunted and said “How did this mess come about?”

Monnik scowled, then glanced at the silver emblem of the Supreme Staff on the Earthman’s jacket. Monnik said, “We made a serious error of judgment. Before we landed, the planet was run by a caste system that was pretty unfair to the governed classes. After we finally managed to smash their military resistance, we also smashed their caste system. We thought the majority of the natives would be grateful. What we overlooked was that their philosophy stated that the lowest member of their caste system was still higher than any other species in creation. They call themselves ‘kingmen,’ and I guess they’ll fight to the finish to stay ‘kingmen.’ They feigned obedience to us, fooled the attitude-testing technicians, and at a given signal there was a simultaneous uprising all over the planet. Now, if we don’t get reinforcements soon—”

There was a faint rapid tapping noise to one side. Monnik glanced around. The staff officer he’d sent to get information about Earth was standing a little back from the doorway, out of Hunter’s range of vision. He looked urgently at Monnik.

“If you’ll excuse me,” said Monnik, “one of my officers wants to see me for a moment.”

“Go right ahead,” said Hunter.

Monnik went outside and moved away so they wouldn’t be overheard.

“Sir,” said the staff officer excitedly, “the men who were on Earth said the fighting here is like a vacation by comparison. They—”

“Keep your voice down,” growled Monnik. “How reliable did these soldiers seem?”

“Sir, several of them have the platinum nova for extreme bravery in action. But then, they said the platinum nova was issued to whole units on Earth.”

Monnik blinked. The platinum nova was given out with grudging restraint, and only after investigation by half-a- dozen separate teams of examiners, all of whom had to be satisfied or the award was withheld.

“Listen,” said Monnik, “I don’t want to leave him in there too long. For now, just give me a quick summary of these Earthmen. What’s their strong point?”

The staff officer thought intently. “They’re original thinkers, sir, and they’re mechanically ingenious. The soldiers said they’d come to the conclusion an Earthman must be born with a tool kit in one hand.”

“I don’t see how that can help us in the present situation.”

“I don’t know, sir. The soldiers said it was no fun at all fighting them. They said—”

Monnik nodded. “Tell me that later. I’m going back inside now.”

“Yes, sir.”

Monnik went back and found the Earthman leaning over the map table, contemplating the big bend of the river near the center of Monnik’s line. He said, “I suppose you’re hanging onto that riverbend to cramp the enemy’s movements from north to south?”

“Well, yes, and also because it would be a lot harder to stop him once he got across that river anywhere.”

The Earthman nodded thoughtfully, and Monnik cleared his throat. It had just occurred to him that there might be advantages to the Earthman being “mechanically ingenious.” Monnik said, “I imagine you’ve brought along special equipment. Any . . . ah . . . new weapons?”

Hunter’s face took on a blank uninformative expression. “We have some exceptionally powerful weapons, but they’re only for use as a last resort. My men and I aren’t operating as regular troops. We’re irregulars, and work on a special theory of war.”

“What’s that?”

“An army, like a person,” said Hunter, “has certain special points of vulnerability. Strike these at the right times and in the right sequence and the whole thing will collapse of its own weight.”

Monnik looked at the map, at the symbols of the tremendous power massing against him across the river. Where, he asked himself, were the weak points in that bristling array of helmets and guns? He looked at the Earthman without enthusiasm. “Maybe,” he said.

“Well,” said Hunter, “if you’ll get me some passes, so my men and I can operate on all sectors of the front—”

Monnik nodded. “I can do that easily enough.”

A little while later, the Earthman was on his way back down the mountain, and Monnik was listening to his staff officer describe the war against Earth, as told to him by those who had been there.

” . . . Traveling forts,” the staff officer was saying, “ships with guns big enough to hide in, bombs that flew under their own power; why, sir, the place sounds like a nightmare. They had guns that squirted out fire—”

“Fire?”

“Yes, sir. And if it hit you, that was the end. They say it took thirty-five million troops before they got the place more or less under control, and all they really ended up with then was a compromise.”

Monnik scowled. Automatically, he discounted fifty per cent for exaggeration. But, even so—

“Sir,” the staff officer finished, “the Earthmen have a fairy tale about somebody called ‘Pandora,’ who opened up a nice-looking box, and all sorts of horrors came out. The soldiers say Earth is like that box. They call it ‘Pandora’s Planet’!”

Monnik thought that over. “All right. Set up a team to report to me everything these Earthmen do. And I’ll want to know fast.”

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