Pandora’s Legions by Christopher Anvil

Horsip opened his mouth and shut it. He took a fresh grip on the phone. “I want to speak to General Takkit about General Brak Moffis. Moffis is a confidential adviser, as I understand it, to General Takkit.”

Noffel’s voice became wary.

“What did you wish to speak to General Takkit about General Moffis for, General Horsip?”

“I’ll make that clear to General Takkit.”

“I’m afraid I may not have made the situation clear myself, General Horsip. General Takkit is most particular regarding the protection of his personal staff from outside distractions. I’m afraid if you should raise this question with General Takkit, you might run into—there might be a good deal of—a certain unpleasantness which could all be avoided by simply mentioning the matter to me . . . You see?”

Horsip said shortly, “I want to ask General Moffis to work with me in an organiza—”

“Quite out of the question, I’m afraid. General Moffis’ time is fully taken up at present. . . . And for the foreseeable future, I might add.”

“This organization is—”

“No. I’m very sorry, General Horsip. This is a matter of standing policy.”

Horsip spoke very politely.

“The High Council has given direct orders to set up this organization. The matter is urgent.”

“And you are to head this new organization?”

“That’s right.”

“You are certainly to be congratulated, General Horsip. Permit me to be the first to extend my felicitations to you on this auspicious assignment. But as a new member of the Supreme Staff, you are, of course, junior to General Takkit.”

“That’s beside the point.”

“Not at all. This is quite central to the issue. You wish to—forgive the term—’raid’ General Takkit’s staff for personnel. General Takkit is your superior officer. Moreover, General Takkit has a prior claim on the individual in question. You wish to use this assignment you have been given by the High Council as a lever to—forgive me—’pry’ General Moffis loose from General Takkit’s personal staff, disregarding both General Takkit’s superior rank and his prior claim on the man in question. We’ve experienced this sort of thing before. General Takkit’s policy is quite clear. Your request, if it is a request, is refused. Pardon me if I speak frankly, General Horsip, but you see, it is much better that I make this clear than that General Takkit be disturbed with this matter . . . Was there anything else?”

Inside Horsip, something wound tighter and tighter, and then snapped.

Horsip suddenly felt very relaxed and at ease.

Horsip said, quietly, “Get Takkit on this line, Colonel.”

“The general does not wish—”

“I don’t care what he wishes. Get him.”

“General Takkit is in confer—”

“Where?”

“In his conference room, and left explicit—”

“Is he in easy reach?”

“Physically, I suppose, but—”

“Get Takkit on this phone.”

“The general left specific ord—”

“I don’t care what he left. I said get him, and you will get him,” said Horsip, pleased that he could be quiet and reasonable about this, “or I will step down the hall and get him myself.”

Horsip took down another phone marked “Provost.”

A brisk voice came out:

“Provost Marshal’s office. Major Rokkis speaking.”

Across the desk, General Maklin looked alarmed.

From General Takkit’s phone, Colonel Noffel’s voice said, with a faint quaver, “I certainly can’t carry out this request. It is contrary to General Takkit’s specific order.”

Horsip spoke into the phone marked “Provost.”

“Send a section of guards to my office, equipped to smash down a door.”

“Yes, sir! At once!”

From Takkit’s phone, Noffel’s voice cried, “What? What?”

Horsip hung up the phone marked “Provost,” and spoke to Noffel.

“You have now put General Takkit in the position of refusing to cooperate with an order of the High Council. Just incidentally, you are defying me by calling a direct order a request. Get Takkit to that phone or face the consequences.”

There was silence from Takkit’s phone, and then a heavy tramp of feet in the corridor. There was a rap on Horsip’s door.

“Captain Bokkil! Guard Section B, at your command, sir!”

Maklin said urgently, “Listen, Horsip, do you know what you’re doing?”

“Come in,” called Horsip. He pulled open a drawer of his desk, and took out Roggil’s order. As the burly captain saluted, Horsip held out the order. “Here’s my authority. Now, just wait a minute, while I see if I have to use it.”

“Yes, sir!” The captain read the order, saluted, leaned into the hall, and shouted, “Splat-gunners to the front! Hurry up with that ram!”

A grating voice spoke from Takkit’s phone:

“This is Dorp Takkit speaking. I will say this only once. Your request is refused. That is final.”

There was a click.

Horsip turned to the guard captain. “Knock on General Takkit’s door. If they don’t open, order it opened in the name of the High Council. If they refuse, smash it down. Ask General Takkit to get on the phone to me here, and if he refuses, put him under arrest, by authority of the High Council, and bring him down here.”

A few minutes later, the guards smashed down the door, and dragged a furious Takkit into Horsip’s office.

Horsip showed the struggling Takkit the order signed by Roggil, and Takkit knocked it from his hand. Horsip read it, and Takkit shouted so loudly that neither he nor anyone else could hear it. Takkit commanded the guards to release him, and one of them, awed by Takkit’s rank and fury, let go. The guard captain himself pinned Takkit’s arms, and Maklin, picking up the paper from where Horsip had set it on the desk, read it, his eyes widened, and his face suddenly lit with pleasure. He sucked in a deep breath, and faced Takkit.

“AT-TEN-SHUNN!”

Takkit looked blank, snapped to attention by reflex action, and Maklin said cheerfully, “Takkit, you are in disobedience to the High Council. In just a few minutes, I am going to be on the direct code to the High Council, to accuse you of actions contrary to an order of the High Council. That will mean an accusation before the Council. Now, read this paper.”

Takkit, pale and trembling, stared at Roggil’s order.

“I wasn’t told this!”

“That certainly isn’t my fault. All I know is what I’ve seen here, right before my eyes, and what I’ve heard over the phone. In this matter, General Horsip is clearly acting as a Full Member of the High Council. You have refused to cooperate, defied him, hung up on him, and knocked the order of the High Council to the floor, and shouted it down when it was read to you. By so doing, you have defied the High Council. You have also struggled with guards acting on authority of the High Council.”

“But I didn’t know!” screamed Takkit.

“Unfortunate,” said Maklin. “If an ordinary soldier defies your order, can he defend himself by claiming that he kept his eyes squinted so he didn’t see your insignia of rank, and shouted you down so you couldn’t tell him who you were? Of course not. But you can explain all that later, in your defense, at the same time that you explain why it is so important to keep General Moffis tied up on your staff when Full Member of the High Council Horsip needs him on the High Council’s work.”

Takkit said desperately, “He can have him!”

“Very generous,” said Maklin. “You mean it’s not so important that you keep him? In any case, Member of the High Council Horsip has only to give the command, and Moffis is reassigned to his organization regardless of what you choose to do. Each member of the High Council stands further above you than you stand above the lowest recruit in the rear rank of the punishment detail.” Maklin turned respectfully to Horsip. “Sir, I am going to accuse this man, and request a full Council investigation while I am at it. I want to respectfully suggest that you release him now on his own recognizance, if he promises to end his defiance to the Council. He is going to be rearrested shortly, anyway, to face the accusation.”

Horsip said, “Do you agree, General Takkit, to end your defiance of the High Council?”

Takkit swallowed. “Yes . . . I mean . . .” He looked blank.

Horsip nodded to the guards. “In that case, release him.”

Takkit reeled out into the corridor. The guard captain saluted Horsip in awe, and stepped outside with his men. The door shut. Maklin turned to Horsip, but before Maklin could speak, Horsip said, “Sir, now that’s out of the way, do you actually plan to accuse Takkit—”

“Don’t you call me ‘sir,’ ” said Maklin, smiling. “Yes, sir, of course I’m going to accuse him. I’d do more than that to get that walking disaster off the Supreme Staff. That cretin has done more damage by his absurdities than anyone else has ever dreamed of doing. Thanks to this, I’ve finally got the boob by the throat, and I won’t let go till I drag him to the ground or the High Council itself pries me loose. At the very least, I’m going to get the lid off this special staff of his.” Maklin beamed and stepped to the door.

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