SKIN TIGHT by Carl Hiaasen

KIPPER GARTH never fully recovered from his pelota injuries and retired from the law. His lucrative personal-injury practice was purchased by a prominent Miami Beach firm, which sought—and received—permission to retain the use of Kipper Garth’s name and likeness in all future advertising and promotion.

The Dade County Grand Jury refused to indict JOHN NORDSTROM for assaulting his lawyer. Nordstrom and his wife pursued their malpractice claim against the Whispering Palms Spa and Surgery Center and eventually settled out of court for $315,000, forty percent of which went straight to their new attorney.

MARIE NORDSTROM’S contractured breast implants were repaired in a simple out-patient procedure performed by Dr. George Ginger. The operation took only ninety minutes and was a complete success.

The seat held on the County Commission by ROBERT PEPSICAL was filled by his younger brother, Charlie. The zoning rights to the Old Cypress Towers project were eventually picked up by a group of wealthy South American investors. Ignoring protests from environmentalists and local homeowners, the developers paved over the ballpark and playground to construct a thirty-three-story luxury condominium tower, with a chic rooftop nightclub called Freddie’s. Nine weeks after it opened, the entire building was seized by the Drug Enforcement Administration in a money-laundering probe that was code-named “Operation Piranha.”

The popular television show In Your Face was canceled after the disappearance and presumed death of its star, REYNALDO FLEMM. The program’s executive producers soon announced that a $25,000 scholarship in Reynaldo’s name would be awarded to the Columbia University School of Journalism, from which, ironically, he had been twice expelled.

Exporter J. W. KIMBLER received a personal letter from the vice-chancellor of the Leeward Islands Medical University in Guadeloupe. The note said: “Thank you for your most recent shipment, which has become the highlight of our spring semester. On behalf of the faculty and of the future surgeons who study here, accept my deepest gratitude for a superior product.”

For his dramatic videotaped footage of Reynaldo Flemm’s cosmetic surgery, cameraman WILLIE VELASQUEZ was offered—and accepted—his own news-documentary program on the Fox Television Network. Eyewitness Undercover! premiered in the 8 p.m. time slot on Thursdays, and in four major markets decisively beat out The Cosby Show in both the Nielsens and Arbitrons.

CHRISTINA MARKS declined an offer to become a producer for Willie’s new program. Instead, she left television and took a job as an assistant city editor at the Miami Herald, and with it a pay cut of approximately $135,000. Soon after moving to Miami, she purchased a second-hand Boston Whaler and a nautical chart of South Biscayne Bay.

The parents of Victoria Barletta were puzzled to receive, via UPS, a black Samsonite suitcase containing approximately $118,400 in cash. A letter accompanying the money described it as a gift from the estate of Dr. Rudy Graveline. The letter was signed by a retired investigator named MICK STRANAHAN and bore no return address.

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