Sue Grafton – “M” Is for Malice

“Doesn’t make any difference. The money doesn’t matter to me. I don’t need money. I’m happy as I am.”

“That’s what you say now, but how do you know that won’t change? Why create problems for yourself later on? Have you talked to Tasha? What’s she say about this?”

“I never talked to her. I called the office in Lompoc, but she’d already left for San Francisco and after that, the secretary said she was taking off for Utah on a ten-day, ski trip.”

“So call her in Utah. They have phones up there.”

“I tried that. They wouldn’t give me her number. They said if she called in, they’d give her my name and number and she’d call if she could.”

“Then try someone else. Call another attorney. I don’t want, you talking to your brothers without legal advice.”

“It’s not about legalities. It’s about mending the breach.”

“Which is exactly what’s going to make you a sitting duck. Your agenda has nothing to do with theirs. They don’t give a shit about forgiveness, if you’ll pardon my French.”

“I don’t see it that way.”

“I know you don’t. That’s why we’re having this argument,” I shrieked. “Suppose they try to pressure you into making a decision?”

“About what?”

“About anything! You don’t even know what’s in your best interest. If your sole aim is to make peace, you’re only going to get screwed.”

“How can I get screwed if I don’t want anything? They can keep the money if that’s the only thing standing between us.”

“Well, if you don’t want the money, why not give it to the church?” The minute I said it, I wanted to bite my tongue. His motives were clean. Why introduce the complication?

He was silent for a moment. “I hadn’t thought about that. That’s a good point.”

“Forget it. Just skip that. All I’m saying is don’t go in there alone. Get help so you don’t do something you’ll regret.”

“Why don’t you go?”

I groaned and he laughed in response. Going with him was the last thing I wanted to do. He needed protection, but I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to step in. What did I have to offer in the way of assistance? “Because it’s not my place. I’m not objective. I don’t know the law and I don’t have any idea what your legal position is. You’d be foolish to come down here and have a conversation with them. Just wait for ten days until Tasha gets back. Don’t do anything yet. There’s no reason you have to hop-to the minute Donovan whistles. You should be doing this on your terms, not his.”

I could hear his reluctance to accept what I was saying. Like most of us, he’d made up his mind before he asked. “You know something? This, is the truth,” he said. “I prayed about this. I asked God for guidance and this was the answer I got.”

“Well, try Him again. Maybe you misunderstood the message.”

He laughed. “I did that in a way. I opened my Bible and put my finger on the page. Know what the passage was?”

“I can’t imagine,” I said dryly.

” ‘Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses.’ ” Like many of the faithful, he could recite Bible verses like song lyrics.

This time the silence was mine. “I can’t argue that. I don’t even know what it means. Look, if you’re determined to do this, you’ll do it, I’m sure. I’m just urging you to take someone with you.”

“I just did. I asked you.”

“I’m not talking about me! What about Peter and Winnie? I’m sure they’d be willing to help if you asked and they’d do a much better job. I don’t know the first thing about counseling or mediation or anything else. Aside from that, all this family-related stuff gives me the willies.”

I could hear Guy smile and his tone was affectionate. “Strange you should say that because somehow it feels like you’re part of this. I don’t know how, but it sure seems like that to me. Don’t you have some kind of issue around family yourself?”

I held the phone away from me and squinted at the handset. “Who, me? Absolutely not. Why would you say that?”

Guy laughed. “I don’t know. It just came to me in a flash. Maybe I’m wrong, but it feels like you’re connected.”

“My only connection is professional. I was hired to do a job. That’s the only link I see.” I kept my tone casual to demonstrate my nonchalance, but I was forced to put a hand against the small of my back, where an inexplicable drop of sweat was trickling down into my underpants. “Why don’t you have a talk with Peter again? I know you’re eager to make amends, but I don’t want you walking into the lions’ den. We all know how the lions and the Christians came out.”

He was silent for a moment and then seemed to change the subject. “Where’s your apartment?”

“What makes you ask?” I was unwilling to be specific until I knew where he was headed.

“How about this? Maybe we can do this another way. Donovan says everyone’s gone tomorrow until five o’clock. Peter’ll give me a lift into town, but his schedule’s too tight to do much more than that. If he drops me off at your place, could you give me a ride the rest of the way? You don’t have to stay. I understand you don’t want to be involved and that’s fine with me.”

“I don’t really see how that addresses the point.”

“It doesn’t. I’m just asking for a ride. I can handle everything else if you can get me over there.”

“You’re not going to listen to me, are you?” I said.

“I did listen. The problem is I disagree.”

I hesitated, but really couldn’t see any reason to refuse. I was already feeling churlish because I’d put up such resistance. “That sounds all right. Sure. I can do that,” I said. “What time would you get here?”

“Three? Somewhere around then. I don’t mean to be a bother. Peter’s meeting is downtown, at that church on the corner of State and Michaelson. Is that anywhere close? Because I could walk over to your place and we could go from there.”

“Close enough,” I said, feeling crabby and resigned. “Look, why don’t you give me a call when you get in. I’ll swing by the church and pick you up.”

“That’d be good. That’s great. Are you sure this is okay?”

“No, but don’t press your luck. I’m willing to do this much, but don’t go asking for reassurance on top of it.

He laughed. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ll see you then,” he said. He disconnected on his end.

As I hung up the phone, I was already having doubts. Amazing how quickly someone else’s problems become yours. Trouble creates a vacuum into which the rest of us get sucked.

I found myself pacing the living room, inwardly refuting his ridiculous claim about the relevance of his situation to mine. His conflict about family had nothing to do with me. I sat down at my desk and made some notes to myself. In case Tasha asked, I thought it might be wise to keep a record of the discussion we’d just had. I hoped he wasn’t going to get a bug up his butt about giving all his money to the church. That was really going to cause a problem if he got greedy on behalf of jubilee Evangelical. I omitted any reference to a charitable donation, thinking if I didn’t write it down, the subject wouldn’t exist.

I picked up the phone again and put a call through to the Maleks. Myrna picked up and I asked to speak to Christie. I waited, listening as Myrna crossed the foyer and bellowed up the stairs to Christie. When Christie finally picked up the phone on her end, I filled her in briefly on my conversation with Guy. “Will you keep me informed about what’s going on?” I asked. “I’ll drop him off, but after that he’s on his own. I think he needs protection, but I don’t want to get into my rescue costume. He’s a big boy and this is really none of my business. I’d feel better if I knew there was someone in your camp keeping an eye on him.”

“Oh, right. And leave the rescue to me,” she said, her tone of voice wry.

I laughed. “Not to get trivial, but he is cute,” I said.

“Really? Well, that’s good. I’m a big fan of cute. In fact, that’s how I vote for a presidential candidate,” she said. “Personally, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. After you left last night, the three of them talked long and hard. Once they got done ripping each other apart, they settled down into some meaningful conversation.”

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