After that, the desert landscape sped by in a monotonous repetition of scrub-covered low hills, and I spent the rest of the journey in a haze of road-induced hypnosis. The intervening towns were few-Big Pine, Independence, Lone Pine, Cartago, Olancha-unexpected small enclaves that consisted primarily of gas stations, wooden cottages, coffee shops, perhaps a pizza restaurant or a Frosty Freeze, sometimes still boarded over for the winter. In most towns, there seemed to be more buildings abandoned than were currently in use. The structures were low wood fronts with a Western or Victorian feel to them. In some areas, the commercial businesses seemed to be devoted almost entirely to propane sales and service. An occasional feed store would be tucked in among the cottonwoods and pines. I passed one of those plain motel-style brown-and-yellow churches that made you suspect it would be depressing to believe whatever these people believed.
Between townships, the empty stretches of wilderness picked up. The air felt clear, warming as the road descended from the higher elevations. The snow had disappeared, soft flakes turning into an even softer rain. What should have been a clear, unobstructed view was subdivided by the march of power lines, telephone poles, and oil derricks-the cost of doing business in an otherwise pristine countryside. Out of the raw hills to my left I could see the occasional cinder cone and the dark craggy outcroppings of lava from ancient volcanic activity. Rocks dotted the landscape: green, red, brown, and cream. The area was undercut by two major fault lines-the San Andreas and the Garlock-that in 1872 had generated one of the largest earthquakes in Californian history.
Gradually, I let my thoughts drift back to events I’d left behind. I’d spent an hour at Selma’s before I’d departed Nota Lake. So far, given my four days’ work, I’d earned a thousand dollars of the fifteen hundred she’d paid me in advance. That meant that I would owe her money if I decided to quit . . . which I confess had crossed my mind. My medical insurance would cover the expenses incurred in behalf of my bunged-up hand. She’d been properly upset by what had happened and we’d gone through the predictable litany of horror and remorse. “I feel sick. This is my fault. I got you into this,” she’d said.
“Don’t be silly, Selma. It isn’t your fault. If nothing else it gives credence to your hunch about Tom’s ‘secret,’ if you want to call it that.”
“But I never dreamed it’d-be dangerous.”
“Life is dangerous,” I said. I was feeling oddly impatient, ready to move on to the job at hand. “Look, we can sit here and commiserate, but I’d much prefer to use the time constructively. I’ve got a big pile of phone bills. Let’s sit down together and see how many numbers you recognize. Any that seem unfamiliar, I can check from Santa Teresa.”
Which is what we’d done, eliminating slightly more than three-quarters of the calls listed for the past ten months. Many were Selma’s, related to her church work, charity events, and assorted friendships outside the 619 area code. Some of the remaining numbers she’d recognized as business calls, a fact confirmed by judicious use of Tom’s Rolodex. I’d placed the entire file of last year’s phone bills in my duffel and then I’d gone down to the basement to take a look at the storage boxes I’d seen previously. There, in the dry, overheated space that smelled of ticking furnace and hot paper, a curious order prevailed.
Despite the fact that both Tom’s desk and his den upstairs were an ungodly mess, Tom Newquist was systematic, at least where work was concerned. On a shelf to my left was a series of cardboard boxes where he’d placed bundles of field notes going back twenty-five years, including his days at the academy. Once a notebook had been filled, his method was to remove the six-hole lined pages, apply a wrapper showing the inclusive dates, and then secure them with a rubber band. Many times several bundles of notes pertained to the same case and those tended to be packed in separate manila envelopes, again labeled and dated. I could walk my fingers back through his investigations, year after year, without gaps or interruptions. Occasionally, on the outside of an envelope he’d penned a note indicating that a call or teletype had come through regarding the particulars of a case. He would then type an update and include a copy with his notes, indicating the agency making the call, the nature of the inquiry, and the details of his response. He was clearly prepared to substantiate his findings with court testimony where required, on every investigation he’d done since he’d been in Nota Lake. The last of the bundled notes were dated the previous April. Missing were notes from May and June of last year until the time of his death. I had to assume the missing notebook covered the previous ten months. There was no other gap in his records of that magnitude.
I went back upstairs, through the kitchen, and into the garage, where I searched the truck again-more thoroughly than I had the first time around. I even eased onto one shoulder so I could shine a flashlight up under the seats, thinking Tom might have secured his notebook in the springs. There was no sign of it, so essentially I was back to square one. My only consolation was knowing I’d left no stone unturned-as far as I could tell. Clearly, I’d overlooked something or I’d have his notes in hand.
The rain increased as I drove south. At Rosamond, I found a McDonald’s and stopped to use the restroom. I picked up a big cola, a large order of fries, and a QP with cheese. I downed a painkiller while I was at it. Twelve minutes later, I was on the road again. The closer I came to Los Angeles, the more my spirits lifted. I hadn’t even realized how depressed I was until my mood began to improve. The rain became my companion, the windshield wipers keeping a steady rhythm as the highway sizzled under my tires. I turned on the radio and let the drone of bad music fill the car.
When I reached Highway 5, I turned north as far as the junction with Highway 126, where I cut west again through Fillmore and Santa Paula. Here the landscape was made up of citrus and avocado groves, the roadway populated with produce stands, beyond which tracts of houses stretched out as far as the eye could see. Route 126 spilled into 101 and I nearly whimpered aloud at the sight of the Pacific. I rolled the window down and tilted my head sideways, letting raindrops blow on my face. The scent of the ocean was dense and sweet. The surf made its relentless approach and retreat, soft pounding at the shoreline, where occasional sea birds race-walked along the hard-packed sand. The water was silken, endless reams of gray taffeta-churning lace at the edge. I’m not fond of mountains, in part because I have so little interest in winter sports, especially those requiring costly equipment. I avoid activities associated with speed, cold, and heights, and any that involve the danger of falling down and breaking significant body parts. As fun as it all sounds, it’s never appealed to me. The ocean is another matter, and while I can spend brief periods in land-locked locations, I’m never as happy as I am when close to deep water. Please understand, I don’t go in the water because there are all manner of biting, stinging, tentacled, pincered, slimy things down there, but I like to look at the water and spend time in its immense, ever-changing presence. For one thing, I find it therapeutic to consider all the creatures not devouring me at any given moment.
Thus cheered, I powered through the final few miles into Santa Teresa. I took the Cabana off-ramp and turned left, passing the bird refuge on my right and shortly thereafter, the volleyball courts on the sand at East Beach. By that time, I’d been on the road for five hours, so focused on home that my foot felt as if it was welded to the accelerator. I was exhausted. My neck was stiff. My mouth tasted like hot metal. My bruised fingers were deadened by drugs yet somehow managed to throb with pain. Also, my butt hurt along with everything else.
My neighborhood looked the same, a short residential street a block from the beach: palms, tall pines, wire fences, crooked sidewalks where tree roots had buckled the concrete. Most houses were stucco with aging red-tile roofs. An occasional condominium appeared between single-family dwellings. I found a parking spot across the street from my apartment, once a singlecar garage, now a two-story hideaway attached by a sunporch to the house where my landlord lives. This month marked the fifth anniversary of my tenancy and I treasure the space I’ve come to think of as mine.