“I said I would.”
“You’re the big gun, aren’t you. Aunt Kay?” she whispered, looking away.
“The Bureau has accepted that it was Carrie who did this to you,” I said. Her eyes filled with tears.
“What she did was horrible, Lucy. I know how hurt and angry you must be. But you are fine. The truth is known and ERF wants you back. We’ll work on your DUI. The judge will have more sympathy since someone ran you off the road and the evidence proves that. But I still want you to get treatment.”
“Can’t I do it in Richmond? Can’t I stay with you?”
“Of course you can.” She looked down as tears spilled over. I did not want to hurt her further but I had to ask.
“It was Carrie you were with in the picnic area the night I saw you out there. She must smoke.”
“Sometimes.” She wiped her eyes.
“I’m so sorry.”
“You wouldn’t understand it.”
“Of course I understand it. You loved her.”
“I still do.” She began to sob.
“That’s what’s so stupid. How could I? But I can’t help it. And all along”
She blew her nose.
“All along she was with Jerry or whoever. Using me.”
“She uses everyone, Lucy. It wasn’t only you.” She wept as if she would the rest of her life.
“I understand how you feel,” I said, pulling her close.
“You can’t just stop loving somebody. Lucy, it will take time.”
I held her for a long while, my neck wet with her tears. I held her until the horizon was a dark blue line across the night, and in her spartan room we packed up her belongings. We walked along cobblestone and pavement deep with puddles as Halloween glowed in windows and the rain began to freeze.