Dyan said softly, “That was eloquent, lad. As your cadet-master, I’m content. As your kinsman, too. I wish more boys your age had that kind of understanding. I’ve been accused of being ruthless. But whatever I’ve done, I’ve done it out of allegiance to Comyn. Can you understand that, Regis?”
Regis said, “I think so.” He felt warmed, somehow less lonely, by having someone care how he felt or what he thought.
Dyan said, “Do you also understand what I said about how the other cadets would take it ill if you shunned their common amusements.”
Regis bit his lip. He said, “I know what you mean. I do, really. Just the same, I feel very strange about—” He was suddenly embarrassed again. “About places like the House of Lanterns. Maybe it will wear off as I get older. But I’m a… a telepath—” How strange it felt to say it! How strange that Dyan should be the first one he told! “And it feels . . . wrong,” he said, stumbling from phrase to phrase.
Dyan lifted his glass and drank the last in it before he answered. “Maybe you’re right. Life can be complicated enough for a telepath, without that, too. Some day you’ll know what you want, and then will be the time to trust your instincts and your needs.” He fell silent, brooding, and Regis found himself wondering what bitter memories lay behind the pensive look. Finally Dyan said, “You’d probably do well, then, to keep clear of such places and wait until, if the Gods are good to you, someone you can love helps you discover that part of your life.” He sighed heavily and said, “If you can. You may discover needs even more imperative than those instincts. It’s always a difficult balance for a telepath. There are physical needs. And there are needs which can be even stronger. Emotional needs. And that’s a balance which can tear any of us to pieces.” Regis had the curious feeling that Dyan was not really talking to him at all, but to himself.
Abruptly, Dyan set down his empty wineglass and rose. He said, “But one pleasure which has no danger attached is to watch young people grow in wisdom, cousin. I hope to see much of that growth in you this winter, and I’ll watch with interest. Meanwhile, keep this in mind: I know the city well and it would be a pleasure to show you anything you wish to see.” He laughed aloud suddenly and said, “And believe me, cousin, such instruction would at least leave no bruises.”
He strode quickly away. Regis, collecting his cloak from the seat, felt more puzzled than ever, feeling there was some-thing else Dyan had wanted to say.
He had to pass the table crowded with cadets, lounging over cider or beer; he noticed that they were staring at him in no friendly fashion. None of them offered him even the bare civility of a formal greeting. He set his chin and turned his back on them. He heard one say in a low tone, “Catamite!”
Regis felt a flood of intense anger washing over him. He wanted to turn on the boy and beat him to a crimson pulp. Then he set his jaw, disciplining himself to walk away and pretend he had not heard. If you listen to dogs barking, you’ll go deaf and never learn much.
He remembered various insults be had pretended not to hear, mostly to the intent that the Comyn hung together, that he had had special favors because he was a Comyn heir. But this one was new. He recalled the taunt Danilo had flung at him the night before his expulsion. Dani was a cristoforo and to him it was more than an insult.
He knew Dyan would have nothing but scorn for such gossip. He never made any secret of his tastes. Yet Regis felt oddly protective toward his kinsman, having sensed his bitterness. He felt a strange wish to defend him.
It occurred to him again, with frustration too new for him to realize it was a commonplace among telepaths, that there were times when laran was absolutely no help at all in personal relationships.