Well, if no one else was going to help her, she would have to take matters in hand herself, but first she needed a plan. Not just any plan. It had to be the ultimate, sure-fire master plan—the mother of all plans.
Thork will have to marry me.
It was the only way. If he married her, none of the Vikings would dare harm her, and she could make a home for Eirik and Tykir. She had no other choice. So, finally, she settled on a three-part strategy: persuasion, seduction and/or force, in that order. She hoped the last would not be necessary. Actually, she hadn’t even thought that far.
Ruby decided to enlist Ella in her plot.
” ‘Tis barmy ya are! I told ya that the first day I saw ya at the docks,” Ella exclaimed, trying to slink away. “Mebbe ya got worms in yer head. That be it, I wager! Most folks has worms in their guts from eating maggoty food, but they unleashes them from their nether ends in the garderobe. The barmy ones, like you, well, the worms crawl up inta their heads and make ’em go mad. Onct I even heard ’bout a man whose worms crawled out his ears and—”
“No, no, no! I’m not crazy. Can’t you see that marriage with Thork would protect me from these vicious Vikings who’d just as soon have my head on a pike?”
Ella shook her head dubiously.
“Eirik and Tykir need a family. Maybe we could all move to another country where there would be no danger. Perhaps you could even come with us.”
A spark of interest showed in Ella’s eyes. “Where? What country?”
Ruby hesitated. “Well, how about Iceland? I’ve heard some of the Vikings talk about emigrating to that new land.”
“Iceland!” Ella exclaimed, preparing to walk off in a huff. “You are barmy! Freeze my arse off in some land of rebels and outlaws! When frogs fly, mebbe!”
Ruby shrugged hopelessly. “Actually, I was hoping such a drastic move might jolt me back to the future.”
“Oh, that be just wunnerful! You get us all to that Godforsaken country and then you just skip off to yer own pleasures. What do I do then? Chip icicles off the boys’ noses fer fun? Or play hidey-hole with the whales and seals?”
“Ella, this really isn’t a bad plan,” Ruby asserted, trying hard not to laugh.
“Seems ta me yer fergettin sumpin important here,” Ella offered sagely. “Thork avoids ya like the bloody flux these three days past, eber since that day you two rolled aroun’ in the straw in yer tower room.”
“We were not… oh, what’s the use. Can’t you see that he’s afraid of commitment to me? And he fears—
“Hah!” Ella interrupted with a snort. “He does not seem too concerned ’bout committin’ wid Linette. She be all over him like honey on a hot rock, and the thrall Eda what cleans his chamber sez they go at it all night long. Linette’s moanin’ and groanin’ kin be heard all the way down to the hall.”
“Really, Ella, must you always repeat gossip? I don’t want to hear this.” No, she really did not want to know intimate details about Thork, Ruby thought jealously.
“Mebbe ya better hear it. Mebbe ya better realize that ta make yer plan work ya gotta step over Linette first.” Ella looked Ruby over critically, obviously doubting her ability to entice Thork away from the Viking widow. Turning to leave, Ella offered a tantalizing teaser over her shoulder, “Ya do know ’bout the ‘sickness’ Linette has, dontja?”
“What sickness?” Ruby had never seen a healthier-looking woman in her life.
“She cannot get enough of… you know.”
“What?”
“You know, the man’s parts betwixt her legs.”
“Oh, Ella! How can you say such things?” Despite herself, Ruby giggled.
” ‘Tis the truth, I swear. Everyone in the keep knows of it, most from having been there, I wager. Many’s the time the master and mistress speak on it of late and how they best hurry and marry her off afore no respectable-like Viking will have her.”
A nymphomaniac! Could it be true? No way! Ruby shook her head in doubt on the way back to the keep as the ditzy servant sashayed in front of her, self-satisfied with her latest imparting of rumors.