“Now that is a pleasure to hear, visiting gentlemen. Before my operating system was bolted into this rather crude construction I was a class A42 headwaiterbot and worked at only the most excellent restaurants . . .”
“Another time,” I said. “I would enjoy your reminiscences. We have a few questions-”
“And I am sure I have a few answers,” it said with surly overtones. “But there are preliminaries to go through.” It had strolled a few paces forward as it talked and now, like a striking snake, one of its tentacles lashed at me. I jumped back, lifted my sword-but not before the cool metal tip had touched my lips and just as swiftly been withdrawn.
“Try that again and you’ll be a tentacle short,” I growled.
“Temper, temper. After all you are armed strangers and I am simply doing my duty. Which is to sample your saliva. And test it, which I have done. You may proceed, Gentleman Jim, because you indeed are of the male sex. I would appreciate samples from your associates.”
“As long as it is just spit you are after,” Floyd growled, hands joined and cupped over his nether regions.
“Oh, I do appreciate a sense of humor, stranger.” The tentacle took its sample from his mouth. “Gentleman stranger I can now say. Final traveler if you please. Lovely, thank you. You may now proceed.”
It turned away and I jumped in front of it.
“A moment first, Hingst the Official Greeter. A few questions . . .”
“Sorry. I am not programmed for that. Kindly step aside, Gentleman Jim.”
“Only after I get a few answers.”
When I didn’t move the other tentacle touched my arm and lightning struck!
I was lying dizzily on the ground watching it trot away. “Shocking, isn’t it!” Hingst called back smugly. “Big batteries.
Floyd helped me to my feet and dusted me off. “So good so far.”
“Thanks. But you aren’t the one who was short-circuited.”
I reported to Madonette as we went on, with Tremearne listening in. “Applied technology,” he said. “Perhaps this lot isn’t as bad as the rest of the crumb-bums on this planet.” Since I was still tingling, and had a burnt taste in my mouth, I sneered in silence and did not bother to answer. Very soon after that Madonette called in that a creature like the one we had described was coming towards her. I clutched my sword in helpless anger, relaxed only when she called back.
“Just like you-only with a different name. Hoppe. As soon as it made the test it trotted off. What now?”
“We go on-and you take a break. If things are going to be the same, or similar, on both sides of the wall we’ll find out first.”
“Male chauv superiority?”
“Common sense. We’re three to your one.”
“A solid argument-and I could use the rest. Keep an contact. ”
“You’ve got it. Here we go.”
The path had widened and was more of a dirt road now. We passed some tilled fields and came to a large grove of polpettone trees. Obviously cultivated since they were planted in neat rows. Beyond them was a low huddle of buildings that could be a farm.
Blocking the path was a brick building with an archway that spanned the road; we slowed and stopped.
“Is that what I think it is?” Steengo said.
“I think that it is a building with an arch under it,” Floyd said. “And we’re not going to find out any more just standing around here.”
We shuffled forward slowly and stopped again when a man appeared in the archway. Our hands twitched away from our weapons when he stepped out into the sunlight. He blinked his red-rimmed eyes against the glare, nodded his head so his mane of long white hair bobbed, then tapped the arrow-and-circle symbol picked out in white on the front of his gray robe.
“Welcome, strangers, welcome to Paradise. I am Afatt the official greeter. Market opens at dawn tomorrow. You may stay out here, or if you wish to camp beyond the arch your weapons will be looked after until you return. A payment of one fedha is required for attendance.”