The Unpleasant Profession Of Jonathan Hoag — Robert A. Heinlein

“A man in a mirror?”

“Your reflection in a mirror watches you, but you expect it; it doesn’t worry you. This is something new, as if someone were trying to get at me, waiting for a chance. Do you think I’m crazy?” he concluded suddenly.

Her attention was only half on his words, for she had noticed something when he held out the garlic which had held her attention. His fingertips were ridged and grooved in whorls and loops and arches like anyone else’s — and they were certainly not coated with collodion tonight. She decided to get a set of prints for Teddy. “No, I don’t think you’re crazy,” she said soothingly, “but I think you’ve let yourself worry too much. You should relax. Wouldn’t you like a drink?”

“I would be grateful for a glass of water.”

Water or liquor, it was the glass she was interested in. She excused herself and went out to the kitchen where she selected a tall glass with smooth, undecorated sides. She polished it carefully, added ice and water with equal care not to wet the sides. She carried it in, holding it near the bottom.

Intentionally or unintentionally, he had outmaneuvered her. He was standing in front of the mirror near the door, where he had evidently been straightening his tie and tidying himself and returning the garlic to its hide-away. When he turned around at her approach she saw that he had put his gloves back on.

She invited him to sit down, thinking that if he did so he would remove his gloves. But he said, “I’ve imposed on you too long as it is.” He drank half the glass of water, thanked her, and left silently.

Randall came in. “He’s gone?”

She turned quickly. “Yes, he’s gone. Teddy, I wish you would do your own dirty work. He makes me nervous. I wanted to scream for you to come in.”

“Steady, old girl.”

“That’s all very well, but I wish we had never laid eyes on him.” She went to a window and opened it wide.

“Too late for Herpicide. We’re in it now.” His eye rested on the glass. “Say — did you get his prints?”

“No such luck. I think he read my mind.”

“Too bad.”

“Teddy, what do you intend to do about him now?”

“I’ve got an idea, but let me work it out first. What was this song and dance he was giving you about devils and a man in a mirror watching him?”

“That wasn’t what he said.”

“Maybe I was the man in the mirror. I watched him in one this morning.”

“Huh-uh. He was just using a metaphor. He’s got the jumps.” She turned suddenly, thinking that she had seen something move over her shoulder. But there was nothing there but the furniture and the wall. Probably just a reflection in the glass, she decided, and said nothing about it. “I’ve got ’em, too,” she added. “As for devils, he’s all the devil I want. You know what I’d like?”

“What?”

“A big stiff drink and early to bed.”

“Good idea.” He wandered out into the kitchen and started mixing the prescription. “Want a sandwich too?”

Randall found himself standing in his pajamas in the living room of their apartment, facing the mirror that hung near the outer door. His reflection — no, not his reflection, for the image was properly dressed in conservative clothes appropriate to a solid man of business — the image spoke to him.

“Edward Randall.”

“Huh?”

“Edward Randall, you are summoned. Here — take my hand. Pull up a chair and you will find you can climb through easily.”

It seemed a perfectly natural thing to do, in fact the only reasonable thing to do. He placed a straight chair under the mirror, took the hand offered him, and scrambled through. There was a washstand under the mirror on the far side, which gave him a leg down. He and his companion were standing in a small, white tiled washroom such as one finds in office suites.

“Hurry,” said his companion. “The others are all assembled.”

“Who are you?”

“The name is Phipps,” the other said, with a slight bow. “This way, please.”

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