The Unpleasant Profession Of Jonathan Hoag — Robert A. Heinlein

“You work for him?”

“Yes and no. Specifically, we are trying to find out certain things about him, but he is aware that we are doing so; we aren’t going around behind his back. If you like, you can phone him and find out for yourself.” Randall made the suggestion because it seemed necessary to make it; he hoped that Potbury would disregard it.

Potbury did so, but not in any reassuring manner. “Talk with him? Not if I can help it! What did you want to know about him?”

“A few days ago,” Randall said carefully, “Hoag brought to you a substance to be analyzed. I want to find out what that substance was.”

“Hrrumph! You reminded me a moment ago that we were both professional men; I am surprised that you should make such a request.”

“I appreciate your viewpoint, doctor, and I know that a doctor’s knowledge of his patients is privileged. But in this case there is — ”

“You wouldn’t want to know!”

Randall considered this. “I’ve seen a good deal of the seamy side of life, doctor, and I don’t think there is anything that can shock me any more. Do you hesitate to tell me in Mrs. Randall’s presence?”

Potbury looked him over quizzically, then surveyed Mrs. Randall. “You look like decent enough people,” he conceded. “I suppose you do think you are beyond being shocked. But let me give you some advice. Apparently you are connected in some way with this man. Stay away from him! Don’t have anything to do with him. And don’t ask me what he had under his fingernails.”

Cynthia suppressed a start. She had been keeping out of the conversation but following it carefully. As she remembered it, Teddy had made no mention of fingernails.

“Why, doctor?” Randall continued insistently.

Potbury was beginning to be annoyed. “You are a rather stupid young man, sir. Let me tell you this: If you know no more of this person than you appear to know, then you have no conception of the depths of beastliness possible in this world. In that you are lucky. It is much, much better never to know.”

Randall hesitated, aware that the debate was going against him. Then he said, “Supposing you are right, doctor — how is it, if he is so vicious, you have not turned Hoag over to the police?”

“How do you know I haven’t? But I will answer that one, sir. No, I have not turned him over to the police, for the simple reason that it would do no good. The authorities have not had the wit nor the imagination to conceive of the possibility of the peculiar evil involved. No law can touch him — not in this day and age.”

“What do you mean, ‘not in this day and age’?”

“Nothing. Disregard it. The subject is closed. You said something about your wife when you came in; did she wish to consult me about something?”

“It was nothing,” Cynthia said hastily. “Nothing of importance.”

“Just a pretext, eh?” He smiled almost jovially. “What was it?”

“Nothing. I fainted earlier today. But I’m all right now.”

“Hm-m-m. You’re not expecting, are you? Your eyes don’t look like it. You look sound enough. A little anemic, perhaps. Fresh air and sunshine wouldn’t do any harm.” He moved away from them and opened a white cabinet on the far wall; he busied himself with bottles for a moment. Presently he returned with a medicine glass filled with amber-brown liquid. “Here — drink this.”

“What is it?”

“A tonic. It contains just enough of What Made the Preacher Dance to make you enjoy it.”

Still she hesitated, looking to her husband. Potbury noticed it and remarked, “Don’t like to drink alone, eh? Well, one wouldn’t do us any harm, either.” He returned to the cabinet and came back with two more medicine glasses, one of which he handed to Randall. “Here’s to forgetting all unpleasant matters,” he said. “Drink up!” He lifted his own glass to his lips and tossed it off.

Randall drank, Cynthia followed suit. It was not bad stuff, she thought. Something a little bitter in it, but the whiskey — it was whiskey, she concluded — covered up the taste. A bottle of that tonic might not do you any real good but it would make you feel better.

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