Twelfth Night; or What You Will by William Shakespeare, 1564-1616

Dramatis Personae

ORSINO Duke of Illyria. (DUKE ORSINO:)

SEBASTIAN brother to Viola.

ANTONIO a sea captain, friend to Sebastian.

A Sea Captain, friend to Viola.

VALENTINE, CURIO } gentlemen attending on the Duke.

SIR TOBY BELCH uncle to Olivia.

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK

MALVOLIO steward to Olivia.

FABIAN, FESTE a Clown } servants to Olivia.

OLIVIA, VIOLA, MARIA } Olivia’s woman.

Lords, Priests, Sailors, Officers, Musicians, and other Attendants.

Scene: A city in Illyria, and the sea-coast near it.

Act 1

Scene 1

DUKE ORSINO’s palace.

Enter DUKE ORSINO, CURIO, and other Lords; Musicians attending

DUKE ORSINO If music be the food of love, play on;

Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,

The appetite may sicken, and so die.

That strain again! it had a dying fall:

O, it came o’er my ear like the sweet sound,

That breathes upon a bank of violets,

Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:

‘Tis not so sweet now as it was before.

O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou,

That, notwithstanding thy capacity

Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,

Of what validity and pitch soe’er,

But falls into abatement and low price,

Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy

That it alone is high fantastical.

CURIO Will you go hunt, my lord?

DUKE ORSINO What, Curio?

CURIO The hart.

DUKE ORSINO Why, so I do, the noblest that I have:

O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first,

Methought she purged the air of pestilence!

That instant was I turn’d into a hart;

And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds,

E’er since pursue me.

Enter VALENTINE

How now! what news from her?

VALENTINE So please my lord, I might not be admitted;

But from her handmaid do return this answer:

The element itself, till seven years’ heat,

Shall not behold her face at ample view;

But, like a cloistress, she will veiled walk

And water once a day her chamber round

With eye-offending brine: all this to season

A brother’s dead love, which she would keep fresh

And lasting in her sad remembrance.

DUKE ORSINO O, she that hath a heart of that fine frame

To pay this debt of love but to a brother,

How will she love, when the rich golden shaft

Hath kill’d the flock of all affections else

That live in her; when liver, brain and heart,

These sovereign thrones, are all supplied, and fill’d

Her sweet perfections with one self king!

Away before me to sweet beds of flowers:

Love-thoughts lie rich when canopied with bowers.

Exeunt

Scene 2

The sea-coast.

Enter VIOLA, a Captain, and Sailors

VIOLA What country, friends, is this?

Captain This is Illyria, lady.

VIOLA And what should I do in Illyria?

My brother he is in Elysium.

Perchance he is not drown’d: what think you, sailors?

Captain It is perchance that you yourself were saved.

VIOLA O my poor brother! and so perchance may he be.

Captain True, madam: and, to comfort you with chance,

Assure yourself, after our ship did split,

When you and those poor number saved with you

Hung on our driving boat, I saw your brother,

Most provident in peril, bind himself,

Courage and hope both teaching him the practise,

To a strong mast that lived upon the sea;

Where, like Arion on the dolphin’s back,

I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves

So long as I could see.

VIOLA For saying so, there’s gold:

Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope,

Whereto thy speech serves for authority,

The like of him. Know’st thou this country?

Captain Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and born

Not three hours’ travel from this very place.

VIOLA Who governs here?

Captain A noble duke, in nature as in name.

VIOLA What is the name?

Captain Orsino.

VIOLA Orsino! I have heard my father name him:

He was a bachelor then.

Captain And so is now, or was so very late;

For but a month ago I went from hence,

And then ’twas fresh in murmur,–as, you know,

What great ones do the less will prattle of,–

That he did seek the love of fair Olivia.

VIOLA What’s she?

Captain A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count

That died some twelvemonth since, then leaving her

In the protection of his son, her brother,

Who shortly also died: for whose dear love,

They say, she hath abjured the company

And sight of men.

VIOLA O that I served that lady

And might not be delivered to the world,

Till I had made mine own occasion mellow,

What my estate is!

Captain That were hard to compass;

Because she will admit no kind of suit,

No, not the duke’s.

VIOLA There is a fair behavior in thee, captain;

And though that nature with a beauteous wall

Doth oft close in pollution, yet of thee

I will believe thou hast a mind that suits

With this thy fair and outward character.

I prithee, and I’ll pay thee bounteously,

Conceal me what I am, and be my aid

For such disguise as haply shall become

The form of my intent. I’ll serve this duke:

Thou shall present me as an eunuch to him:

It may be worth thy pains; for I can sing

And speak to him in many sorts of music

That will allow me very worth his service.

What else may hap to time I will commit;

Only shape thou thy silence to my wit.

Captain Be you his eunuch, and your mute I’ll be:

When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see.

VIOLA I thank thee: lead me on.

Exeunt

Scene 3

OLIVIA’S house.

Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA

SIR TOBY BELCH What a plague means my niece, to take the death of

her brother thus? I am sure care’s an enemy to life.

MARIA By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o’

nights: your cousin, my lady, takes great

exceptions to your ill hours.

SIR TOBY BELCH Why, let her except, before excepted.

MARIA Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest

limits of order.

SIR TOBY BELCH Confine! I’ll confine myself no finer than I am:

these clothes are good enough to drink in; and so be

these boots too: an they be not, let them hang

themselves in their own straps.

MARIA That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard

my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish

knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.

SIR TOBY BELCH Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?

MARIA Ay, he.

SIR TOBY BELCH He’s as tall a man as any’s in Illyria.

MARIA What’s that to the purpose?

SIR TOBY BELCH Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.

MARIA Ay, but he’ll have but a year in all these ducats:

he’s a very fool and a prodigal.

SIR TOBY BELCH Fie, that you’ll say so! he plays o’ the

viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages

word for word without book, and hath all the good

gifts of nature.

MARIA He hath indeed, almost natural: for besides that

he’s a fool, he’s a great quarreller: and but that

he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he

hath in quarrelling, ’tis thought among the prudent

he would quickly have the gift of a grave.

SIR TOBY BELCH By this hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors

that say so of him. Who are they?

MARIA They that add, moreover, he’s drunk nightly in your company.

SIR TOBY BELCH With drinking healths to my niece: I’ll drink to

her as long as there is a passage in my throat and

drink in Illyria: he’s a coward and a coystrill

that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn

o’ the toe like a parish-top. What, wench!

Castiliano vulgo! for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.

Enter SIR ANDREW

SIR ANDREW Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Belch!

SIR TOBY BELCH Sweet Sir Andrew!

SIR ANDREW Bless you, fair shrew.

MARIA And you too, sir.

SIR TOBY BELCH Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.

SIR ANDREW What’s that?

SIR TOBY BELCH My niece’s chambermaid.

SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.

MARIA My name is Mary, sir.

SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Mary Accost,–

SIR TOBY BELCH You mistake, knight; ‘accost’ is front her, board

her, woo her, assail her.

SIR ANDREW By my troth, I would not undertake her in this

company. Is that the meaning of ‘accost’?

MARIA Fare you well, gentlemen.

SIR TOBY BELCH An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst

never draw sword again.

SIR ANDREW An you part so, mistress, I would I might never

draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have

fools in hand?

MARIA Sir, I have not you by the hand.

SIR ANDREW Marry, but you shall have; and here’s my hand.

MARIA Now, sir, ‘thought is free:’ I pray you, bring

your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.

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