step on. They say he has been fencer to the Sophy.
SIR ANDREW Pox on’t, I’ll not meddle with him.
SIR TOBY BELCH Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can
scarce hold him yonder.
SIR ANDREW Plague on’t, an I thought he had been valiant and so
cunning in fence, I’ld have seen him damned ere I’ld
have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip,
and I’ll give him my horse, grey Capilet.
SIR TOBY BELCH I’ll make the motion: stand here, make a good show
on’t: this shall end without the perdition of souls.
Aside
Marry, I’ll ride your horse as well as I ride you.
Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA
To FABIAN
I have his horse to take up the quarrel:
I have persuaded him the youth’s a devil.
FABIAN He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and
looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.
SIR TOBY BELCH [To VIOLA]
There’s no remedy, sir; he will fight
with you for’s oath sake: marry, he hath better
bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now
scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for
the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you.
VIOLA [Aside]
Pray God defend me! A little thing would
make me tell them how much I lack of a man.
FABIAN Give ground, if you see him furious.
SIR TOBY BELCH Come, Sir Andrew, there’s no remedy; the gentleman
will, for his honour’s sake, have one bout with you;
he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has
promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he
will not hurt you. Come on; to’t.
SIR ANDREW Pray God, he keep his oath!
VIOLA I do assure you, ’tis against my will.
They draw
Enter ANTONIO
ANTONIO Put up your sword. If this young gentleman
Have done offence, I take the fault on me:
If you offend him, I for him defy you.
SIR TOBY BELCH You, sir! why, what are you?
ANTONIO One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
Than you have heard him brag to you he will.
SIR TOBY BELCH Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.
They draw
Enter Officers
FABIAN O good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers.
SIR TOBY BELCH I’ll be with you anon.
VIOLA Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.
SIR ANDREW Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promised you,
I’ll be as good as my word: he will bear you easily
and reins well.
First Officer This is the man; do thy office.
Second Officer Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of Count Orsino.
ANTONIO You do mistake me, sir.
First Officer No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,
Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.
Take him away: he knows I know him well.
ANTONIO I must obey.
To VIOLA
This comes with seeking you:
But there’s no remedy; I shall answer it.
What will you do, now my necessity
Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed;
But be of comfort.
Second Officer Come, sir, away.
ANTONIO I must entreat of you some of that money.
VIOLA What money, sir?
For the fair kindness you have show’d me here,
And, part, being prompted by your present trouble,
Out of my lean and low ability
I’ll lend you something: my having is not much;
I’ll make division of my present with you:
Hold, there’s half my coffer.
ANTONIO Will you deny me now?
Is’t possible that my deserts to you
Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,
Lest that it make me so unsound a man
As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
That I have done for you.
VIOLA I know of none;
Nor know I you by voice or any feature:
I hate ingratitude more in a man
Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
Inhabits our frail blood.
ANTONIO O heavens themselves!
Second Officer Come, sir, I pray you, go.
ANTONIO Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
I snatch’d one half out of the jaws of death,
Relieved him with such sanctity of love,
And to his image, which methought did promise
Most venerable worth, did I devotion.
First Officer What’s that to us? The time goes by: away!
ANTONIO But O how vile an idol proves this god
Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
In nature there’s no blemish but the mind;
None can be call’d deform’d but the unkind:
Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil
Are empty trunks o’erflourish’d by the devil.
First Officer The man grows mad: away with him! Come, come, sir.
ANTONIO Lead me on.
Exit with Officers
VIOLA Methinks his words do from such passion fly,
That he believes himself: so do not I.
Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
That I, dear brother, be now ta’en for you!
SIR TOBY BELCH Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian: we’ll
whisper o’er a couplet or two of most sage saws.
VIOLA He named Sebastian: I my brother know
Yet living in my glass; even such and so
In favour was my brother, and he went
Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,
For him I imitate: O, if it prove,
Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love.
Exit
SIR TOBY BELCH A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than
a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his
friend here in necessity and denying him; and for
his cowardship, ask Fabian.
FABIAN A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it.
SIR ANDREW ‘Slid, I’ll after him again and beat him.
SIR TOBY BELCH Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.
SIR ANDREW An I do not,–
FABIAN Come, let’s see the event.
SIR TOBY BELCH I dare lay any money ’twill be nothing yet.
Exeunt
Act 4
Scene 1
Before OLIVIA’s house.
Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown
Clown Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?
SEBASTIAN Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow:
Let me be clear of thee.
Clown Well held out, i’ faith! No, I do not know you; nor
I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come
speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario;
nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so is so.
SEBASTIAN I prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else: Thou
know’st not me.
Clown Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some
great man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my
folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world,
will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy
strangeness and tell me what I shall vent to my
lady: shall I vent to her that thou art coming?
SEBASTIAN I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me: There’s
money for thee: if you tarry longer, I shall give
worse payment.
Clown By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men
that give fools money get themselves a good
report–after fourteen years’ purchase.
Enter SIR ANDREW, SIR TOBY BELCH, and FABIAN
SIR ANDREW Now, sir, have I met you again? there’s for you.
SEBASTIAN Why, there’s for thee, and there, and there. Are all
the people mad?
SIR TOBY BELCH Hold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the house.
Clown This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be
in some of your coats for two pence.
Exit
SIR TOBY BELCH Come on, sir; hold.
SIR ANDREW Nay, let him alone: I’ll go another way to work
with him; I’ll have an action of battery against
him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I
struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that.
SEBASTIAN Let go thy hand.
SIR TOBY BELCH Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young
soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on.
SEBASTIAN I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now? If
thou darest tempt me further, draw thy sword.
SIR TOBY BELCH What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two
of this malapert blood from you.
Enter OLIVIA
OLIVIA Hold, Toby; on thy life I charge thee, hold!
SIR TOBY BELCH Madam!
OLIVIA Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,
Where manners ne’er were preach’d! out of my sight!
Be not offended, dear Cesario.
Rudesby, be gone!
Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN
I prithee, gentle friend,
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
In this uncivil and thou unjust extent
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks