Twelfth Night; or What You Will by William Shakespeare, 1564-1616

indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to

them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth. Were

you sent hither to praise me?

VIOLA I see you what you are, you are too proud;

But, if you were the devil, you are fair.

My lord and master loves you: O, such love

Could be but recompensed, though you were crown’d

The nonpareil of beauty!

OLIVIA How does he love me?

VIOLA With adorations, fertile tears,

With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.

OLIVIA Your lord does know my mind; I cannot love him:

Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble,

Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth;

In voices well divulged, free, learn’d and valiant;

And in dimension and the shape of nature

A gracious person: but yet I cannot love him;

He might have took his answer long ago.

VIOLA If I did love you in my master’s flame,

With such a suffering, such a deadly life,

In your denial I would find no sense;

I would not understand it.

OLIVIA Why, what would you?

VIOLA Make me a willow cabin at your gate,

And call upon my soul within the house;

Write loyal cantons of contemned love

And sing them loud even in the dead of night;

Halloo your name to the reverberate hills

And make the babbling gossip of the air

Cry out ‘Olivia!’ O, You should not rest

Between the elements of air and earth,

But you should pity me!

OLIVIA You might do much.

What is your parentage?

VIOLA Above my fortunes, yet my state is well:

I am a gentleman.

OLIVIA Get you to your lord;

I cannot love him: let him send no more;

Unless, perchance, you come to me again,

To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well:

I thank you for your pains: spend this for me.

VIOLA I am no fee’d post, lady; keep your purse:

My master, not myself, lacks recompense.

Love make his heart of flint that you shall love;

And let your fervor, like my master’s, be

Placed in contempt! Farewell, fair cruelty.

Exit

OLIVIA ‘What is your parentage?’

‘Above my fortunes, yet my state is well:

I am a gentleman.’ I’ll be sworn thou art;

Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions and spirit,

Do give thee five-fold blazon: not too fast:

soft, soft!

Unless the master were the man. How now!

Even so quickly may one catch the plague?

Methinks I feel this youth’s perfections

With an invisible and subtle stealth

To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be.

What ho, Malvolio!

Re-enter MALVOLIO

MALVOLIO Here, madam, at your service.

OLIVIA Run after that same peevish messenger,

The county’s man: he left this ring behind him,

Would I or not: tell him I’ll none of it.

Desire him not to flatter with his lord,

Nor hold him up with hopes; I am not for him:

If that the youth will come this way to-morrow,

I’ll give him reasons for’t: hie thee, Malvolio.

MALVOLIO Madam, I will.

Exit

OLIVIA I do I know not what, and fear to find

Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind.

Fate, show thy force: ourselves we do not owe;

What is decreed must be, and be this so.

Exit

Act 2

Scene 1

The sea-coast.

Enter ANTONIO and SEBASTIAN

ANTONIO Will you stay no longer? nor will you not that I go with you?

SEBASTIAN By your patience, no. My stars shine darkly over

me: the malignancy of my fate might perhaps

distemper yours; therefore I shall crave of you your

leave that I may bear my evils alone: it were a bad

recompense for your love, to lay any of them on you.

SEBASTIAN No, sooth, sir: my determinate voyage is mere

extravagancy. But I perceive in you so excellent a

touch of modesty, that you will not extort from me

what I am willing to keep in; therefore it charges

me in manners the rather to express myself. You

must know of me then, Antonio, my name is Sebastian,

which I called Roderigo. My father was that

Sebastian of Messaline, whom I know you have heard

of. He left behind him myself and a sister, both

born in an hour: if the heavens had been pleased,

would we had so ended! but you, sir, altered that;

for some hour before you took me from the breach of

the sea was my sister drowned.

ANTONIO Alas the day!

SEBASTIAN A lady, sir, though it was said she much resembled

me, was yet of many accounted beautiful: but,

though I could not with such estimable wonder

overfar believe that, yet thus far I will boldly

publish her; she bore a mind that envy could not but

call fair. She is drowned already, sir, with salt

water, though I seem to drown her remembrance again with more.

ANTONIO Pardon me, sir, your bad entertainment.

SEBASTIAN O good Antonio, forgive me your trouble.

ANTONIO If you will not murder me for my love, let me be

your servant.

SEBASTIAN If you will not undo what you have done, that is,

kill him whom you have recovered, desire it not.

Fare ye well at once: my bosom is full of kindness,

and I am yet so near the manners of my mother, that

upon the least occasion more mine eyes will tell

tales of me. I am bound to the Count Orsino’s court: farewell.

Exit

ANTONIO The gentleness of all the gods go with thee!

I have many enemies in Orsino’s court,

Else would I very shortly see thee there.

But, come what may, I do adore thee so,

That danger shall seem sport, and I will go.

Exit

Scene 2

A street.

Enter VIOLA, MALVOLIO following

MALVOLIO Were not you even now with the Countess Olivia?

VIOLA Even now, sir; on a moderate pace I have since

arrived but hither.

MALVOLIO She returns this ring to you, sir: you might have

saved me my pains, to have taken it away yourself.

She adds, moreover, that you should put your lord

into a desperate assurance she will none of him:

and one thing more, that you be never so hardy to

come again in his affairs, unless it be to report

your lord’s taking of this. Receive it so.

VIOLA She took the ring of me: I’ll none of it.

MALVOLIO Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her

will is, it should be so returned: if it be worth

stooping for, there it lies in your eye; if not, be

it his that finds it.

Exit

VIOLA I left no ring with her: what means this lady?

Fortune forbid my outside have not charm’d her!

She made good view of me; indeed, so much,

That sure methought her eyes had lost her tongue,

For she did speak in starts distractedly.

She loves me, sure; the cunning of her passion

Invites me in this churlish messenger.

None of my lord’s ring! why, he sent her none.

I am the man: if it be so, as ’tis,

Poor lady, she were better love a dream.

Disguise, I see, thou art a wickedness,

Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.

How easy is it for the proper-false

In women’s waxen hearts to set their forms!

Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we!

For such as we are made of, such we be.

How will this fadge? my master loves her dearly;

And I, poor monster, fond as much on him;

And she, mistaken, seems to dote on me.

What will become of this? As I am man,

My state is desperate for my master’s love;

As I am woman,–now alas the day!–

What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe!

O time! thou must untangle this, not I;

It is too hard a knot for me to untie!

Exit

Scene 3

OLIVIA’s house.

Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and SIR ANDREW

SIR TOBY BELCH Approach, Sir Andrew: not to be abed after

midnight is to be up betimes; and ‘diluculo

surgere,’ thou know’st,–

SIR ANDREW Nay, my troth, I know not: but I know, to be up

late is to be up late.

SIR TOBY BELCH A false conclusion: I hate it as an unfilled can.

To be up after midnight and to go to bed then, is

early: so that to go to bed after midnight is to go

to bed betimes. Does not our life consist of the

four elements?

SIR ANDREW Faith, so they say; but I think it rather consists

of eating and drinking.

SIR TOBY BELCH Thou’rt a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink.

Marian, I say! a stoup of wine!

Enter Clown

SIR ANDREW Here comes the fool, i’ faith.

Clown How now, my hearts! did you never see the picture

of ‘we three’?

SIR TOBY BELCH Welcome, ass. Now let’s have a catch.

SIR ANDREW By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I

had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg,

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