A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS by Pelham Grenville Wodehouse

“Any use asking where that is?”

“None, I’m afraid.”

“I wasn’t going to, of course.”

“Of course not. That’s what I admire so much in you. You aren’t inquisitive.”

George reflected.

“There’s only one thing to be done. You will have to wait in the cab at the hotel, while I go and get some money. Then, if you’ll let me, I can lend you what you require.”

“It’s much too kind of you. Could you manage eleven shillings?”

“Easily. I’ve just had a legacy.”

“Of course, if you think I ought to be economical, I’ll go third-class. That would only be five shillings. Ten-and-six is the first-class fare. So you see the place I want to get to is two hours from London.”

“Well, that’s something to know.”

“But not much, is it?”

“I think I had better lend you a sovereign. Then you’ll be able to buy a lunch-basket.”

“You think of everything. And you’re perfectly right. I shall be starving. But how do you know you will get the money back?”

“I’ll risk it.”

“Well, then, I shall have to be inquisitive and ask your name. Otherwise I shan’t know where to send the money.”

“Oh, there’s no mystery about me. I’m an open book.”

“You needn’t be horrid about it. I can’t help being mysterious.”

“I didn’t mean that.”

“It sounded as if you did. Well, who is my benefactor?”

“My name is George Bevan. I am staying at the Carlton at present.”

“I’ll remember.”

The taxi moved slowly down the Haymarket. The girl laughed.

“Yes?” said George.

“I was only thinking of back there. You know, I haven’t thanked you nearly enough for all you did. You were wonderful.”

“I’m very glad I was able to be of any help.”

“What did happen? You must remember I couldn’t see a thing except your back, and I could only hear indistinctly.”

“Well, it started by a man galloping up and insisting that you had got into the cab. He was a fellow with the appearance of a before-using advertisement of an anti-fat medicine and the manners of a ring-tailed chimpanzee.”

The girl nodded.

“Then it was Percy! I knew I wasn’t mistaken.”

“Percy?”

“That is his name.”

“It would be! I could have betted on it.”

“What happened then?”

“I reasoned with the man, but didn’t seem to soothe him, and finally he made a grab for the door-handle, so I knocked off his hat, and while he was retrieving it we moved on and escaped.”

The girl gave another silver peal of laughter.

“Oh, what a shame I couldn’t see it. But how resourceful of you! How did you happen to think of it?”

“It just came to me,” said George modestly.

A serious look came into the girl’s face. The smile died out of her eyes. She shivered.

“When I think how some men might have behaved in your place!”

“Oh, no. Any man would have done just what I did. Surely, knocking off Percy’s hat was an act of simple courtesy which anyone would have performed automatically!”

“You might have been some awful bounder. Or, what would have been almost worse, a slow-witted idiot who would have stopped to ask questions before doing anything. To think I should have had the luck to pick you out of all London!”

“I’ve been looking on it as a piece of luck–but entirely from my viewpoint.”

She put a small hand on his arm, and spoke earnestly.

“Mr. Bevan, you mustn’t think that, because I’ve been laughing a good deal and have seemed to treat all this as a joke, you haven’t saved me from real trouble. If you hadn’t been there and hadn’t acted with such presence of mind, it would have been terrible!”

“But surely, if that fellow was annoying you, you could have called a policeman?”

“Oh, it wasn’t anything like that. It was much, much worse. But I mustn’t go on like this. It isn’t fair on you.” Her eyes lit up again with the old shining smile. “I know you have no curiosity about me, but still there’s no knowing whether I might not arouse some if I went on piling up the mystery. And the silly part is that really there’s no mystery at all. It’s just that I can’t tell anyone about it.”

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