A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS by Pelham Grenville Wodehouse

“Well, you’ve never known anybody quite like Plummer, I should imagine. But the thought of his sufferings didn’t break your heart.”

“I’ve known a million men exactly like Edwin Plummer,” said Maud emphatically. “All the men I ever have known have been like him–quite nice and pleasant and negative. It never seemed to matter refusing them. One knew that they would be just a little bit piqued for a week or two and then wander off and fall in love with somebody else. But you’re different. You… matter.”

“That is where we disagree. My argument is that, where your happiness is concerned, I don’t matter.”

Maud rested her chin on her hand, and stared out into the velvet darkness.

“You ought to have been my brother instead of Percy,” she said at last. “What chums we should have been! And how simple that would have made everything!”

“The best thing for you to do is to regard me as an honorary brother. That will make everything simple.”

“It’s easy to talk like that… No, it isn’t. It’s horribly hard. I know exactly how difficult it is for you to talk as you have been doing–to try to make me feel better by pretending the whole trouble is just a trifle… It’s strange… We have only met really for a few minutes at a time, and three weeks ago I didn’t know there was such a person as you, but somehow I seem to know everything you’re thinking. I’ve never felt like that before with any man… Even Geoffrey… He always puzzled me….”

She broke off. The corncrake began to call again out in the distance.

“I wish I knew what to do,” she said with a catch in her voice.

“I’ll tell you in two words what to do. The whole thing is absurdly simple. You love this man and he loves you, and all that kept you apart before was the fact that he could not afford to marry you. Now that he is rich, there is no obstacle at all. I simply won’t let you look on me and my feelings as an obstacle. Rule me out altogether. Your father’s mistake has made the situation a little more complicated than it need have been, but that can easily be remedied. Imitate the excellent example of Reggie Byng. He was in a position where it would have been embarrassing to announce what he intended to do, so he very sensibly went quietly off and did it and left everybody to find out after it was done. I’m bound to say I never looked on Reggie as a master mind, but, when it came to find a way out of embarrassing situations, one has to admit he had the right idea. Do what he did!”

Maud started. She half rose from the stone seat. George could hear the quick intake of her breath.

“You mean–run away?”

“Exactly. Run away!”

An automobile swung round the corner of the castle from the direction of the garage, and drew up, purring, at the steps. There was a flood of light and the sound of voices, as the great door opened. Maud rose.

“People are leaving,” she said. “I didn’t know it was so late.” She stood irresolutely. “I suppose I ought to go in and say good-bye. But I don’t think I can.”

“Stay where you are. Nobody will see you.”

More automobiles arrived. The quiet of the night was shattered by the noise of their engines. Maud sat down again.

“I suppose they will think it very odd of me not being there.”

“Never mind what people think. Reggie Byng didn’t.”

Maud’s foot traced circles on the dry turf.

“What a lovely night,” she said. “There’s no dew at all.”

The automobiles snorted, tooted, back-fired, and passed away. Their clamour died in the distance, leaving the night a thing of peace and magic once more. The door of the castle closed with a bang.

“I suppose I ought to be going in now,” said Maud.

“I suppose so. And I ought to be there, too, politely making my farewells. But something seems to tell me that Lady Caroline and your brother will be quite ready to dispense with the formalities. I shall go home.”

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