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Alonzo Fitz and Other Stories by Mark Twain

before heaven and humanity; that the 18th Brumaire contained the

seeds of its own punishment; that the 14th July was the mighty voice

of liberty proclaiming the resurrection, the new day, and inviting

the oppressed peoples of the earth to look upon the divine face of

France and live; and let us here record our everlasting curse

against the man of the 2d December, and declare in thunder tones,

the native tones of France, that but for him there had been no 17th

March in history, no 12th October, no 19th January, no 22d April,

no 16th November, no 30th September, no 2d July, no 14th February,

no 29th June, no 15th August, no 31st May–that but for him, France

the pure, the grand, the peerless, had had a serene and vacant

almanac today!

I have heard of one French sermon which closed in this odd yet eloquent

way:

My hearers, we have sad cause to remember the man of the 13th

January. The results of the vast crime of the 13th January have

been in just proportion to the magnitude of the set itself. But for

it there had been no 30 November–sorrowful spectacle! The grisly

deed of the 16th June had not been done but for it, nor had the man

of the 16th June known existence; to it alone the 3d September was

due, also the fatal 12th October. Shall we, then, be grateful for

the 13th January, with its freight of death for you and me and all

that breathe? Yes, my friends, for it gave us also that which had

never come but for it, and it atone–the blessed 25th December.

It may be well enough to explain, though in the case of many of my

readers this will hardly be necessary. The man of the 13th January is

Adam; the crime of that date was the eating of the apple; the sorrowful

spectacle of the 30th November was the expulsion from Eden; the grisly

deed of the 16th June was the murder of Abel; the act of the 3d September

was the beginning of the journey to the land of Nod; the 12th day of

October, the last mountain-tops disappeared under the flood. When you go

to church in France, you want to take your almanac with you–annotated.

LEGEND OF SAGENFELD, IN GERMANY

[Left out of “A Tramp Abroad” because its authenticity seemed doubtful,

and could not at that time be proved.–M. T.]

More than a thousand years ago this small district was a kingdom

–a little bit of a kingdom, a sort of dainty little toy kingdom, as one

might say. It was far removed from the jealousies, strifes, and turmoils

of that old warlike day, and so its life was a simple life, its people a

gentle and guileless race; it lay always in a deep dream of peace, a soft

Sabbath tranquillity; there was no malice, there was no envy, there was

no ambition, consequently there were no heart-burnings, there was no

unhappiness in the land.

In the course of time the old king died and his little son Hubert came to

the throne. The people’s love for him grew daily; he was so good and so

pure and so noble, that by and by his love became a passion, almost a

worship. Now at his birth the soothsayers had diligently studied the

stars and found something written in that shining book to this effect:

In Hubert’s fourteenth year a pregnant event will happen; the animal

whose singing shall sound sweetest in Hubert’s ear shall save

Hubert’s life. So long as the king and the nation shall honor this

animal’s race for this good deed, the ancient dynasty shall not fail

of an heir, nor the nation know war or pestilence or poverty. But

beware an erring choice!

All through the king’s thirteenth year but one thing was talked of by the

soothsayers, the statesmen, the little parliament, and the general

people. That one thing was this: How is the last sentence of the

prophecy to be understood? What goes before seems to mean that the

saving animal will choose itself at the proper time; but the closing

sentence seems to mean that the king must choose beforehand, and say what

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