X

Alonzo Fitz and Other Stories by Mark Twain

“I never mentioned any song.”

“Oh, you didn’t?”

“No, I didn’t!”

“I am compelled to remark that you did.”

“And I am obliged to reiterate that I didn’t.”

“A second rudeness! That is sufficient, sir. I will never forgive you.

All is over between us.”

Then came a muffled sound of crying. Alonzo hastened to say:

“Oh, Rosannah, unsay those words! There is some dreadful mystery here,

some hideous mistake. I am utterly earnest and sincere when I say I

never said anything about any song. I would not hurt you for the whole

world . . . . Rosannah, dear speak to me, won’t you?”

There was a pause; then Alonzo heard the girl’s sobbings retreating, and

knew she had gone from the telephone. He rose with a heavy sigh, and

hastened from the room, saying to himself, “I will ransack the charity

missions and the haunts of the poor for my mother. She will persuade her

that I never meant to wound her.”

A minute later the Reverend was crouching over the telephone like a cat

that knoweth the ways of the prey. He had not very many minutes to wait.

A soft, repentant voice, tremulous with tears, said:

“Alonzo, dear, I have been wrong. You could not have said so cruel a

thing. It must have been some one who imitated your voice in malice or

in jest.”

The Reverend coldly answered, in Alonzo’s tones:

“You have said all was over between us. So let it be. I spurn your

proffered repentance, and despise it!”

Then he departed, radiant with fiendish triumph, to return no more with

his imaginary telephonic invention forever.

Four hours afterward Alonzo arrived with his mother from her favorite

haunts of poverty and vice. They summoned the San Francisco household;

but there was no reply. They waited, and continued to wait, upon the

voiceless telephone.

At length, when it was sunset in San Francisco, and three hours and a

half after dark in Eastport, an answer to the oft-repeated cry of

“Rosannah!”

But, alas, it was Aunt Susan’s voice that spake. She said:

“I have been out all day; just got in. I will go and find her.”

The watchers waited two minutes–five minutes–ten minutes. Then came

these fatal words, in a frightened tone:

“She is gone, and her baggage with her. To visit another friend, she

told the servants. But I found this note on the table in her room.

Listen: ‘I am gone; seek not to trace me out; my heart is broken; you

will never see me more. Tell him I shall always think of him when I sing

my poor “Sweet By-and-by,” but never of the unkind words he said about

it.’ That is her note. Alonzo, Alonzo, what does it mean? What has

happened?”

But Alonzo sat white and cold as the dead. His mother threw back the

velvet curtains and opened a window. The cold air refreshed the

sufferer, and he told his aunt his dismal story. Meantime his mother was

inspecting a card which had disclosed itself upon the floor when she cast

the curtains back. It read, “Mr. Sidney Algernon Burley, San Francisco.”

“The miscreant!” shouted Alonzo, and rushed forth to seek the false

Reverend and destroy him; for the card explained everything, since in the

course of the lovers’ mutual confessions they had told each other all

about all the sweethearts they had ever had, and thrown no end of mud at

their failings and foibles for lovers always do that. It has a

fascination that ranks next after billing and cooing.

IV

During the next two months many things happened. It had early transpired

that Rosannah, poor suffering orphan, had neither returned to her

grandmother in Portland, Oregon, nor sent any word to her save a

duplicate of the woeful note she had left in the mansion on Telegraph

Hill. Whosoever was sheltering her–if she was still alive–had been

persuaded not to betray her whereabouts, without doubt; for all efforts

to find trace of her had failed.

Did Alonzo give her up? Not he. He said to himself, “She will sing that

sweet song when she is sad; I shall find her.” So he took his carpet-

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