He thrashed under their assaults for as long as he could, but he knew death was certain. There would be no resurrection this time, no waiting in the earth for an age until their descendants forgot him. He’d be snuffed out absolutely, and there would be nothingness.
He became quieter at the thought, and looked up as best he could to where the little father was standing. Their eyes met, as they had on the road when he’d taken the boy. But now Rawhead’s look had lost its power to transfix. His face was empty and sterile as the moon, defeated long before Ron slammed the stone down between his eyes. The skull was soft: it buckled inwards and a slop of brain splattered the road.
The King went out. It was suddenly over, without ceremony or celebration. Out, once and for all. There was no cry.
Ron left the stone where it lay, half buried in the face of the beast. He stood up groggily, and felt his head. His scalp was
loose, his fingertips touched his skull, blood came and came. But there were arms to support him, and nothing to fear if he slept. It went unnoticed, but in death Rawhead’s bladder was emptying. A stream of urine pulsed from the corpse and ran down the road. The rivulet steamed in the chilling air, its scummy nose sniffing left and right as it looked for a place to drain. After a few feet it found the gutter and ran along it awhile to a crack in the tarmac; there it drained off into the welcoming earth.
Confessions of a (Pornographer’s) Shroud
He had been flesh once. Flesh, and bone, and ambition. But that was an age ago, or so it seemed, and the memory of that blessed state was fading fast.
Some traces of his former life remained; time and exhaustion couldn’t take everything from him. He could picture clearly and painfully the faces of those he’d loved and hated. They stared through at him from the past, clear and luminous. He could still see the sweet, goodnight expressions in his children’s eyes. And the same look, less sweet but no less goodnight, in the eyes of the brutes he had murdered.
Some of those memories made him want to cry, except that there were no tears to be wrong out of his starched eyes. Besides, it was far too late for regret. Regret was a luxury reserved for the living, who still had the time, the breath and the energy to act.
He was beyond all that. He, his mother’s little Ronnie (oh, if she could see him now), he was almost three weeks dead. Too late for regrets by a long chalk.
He’d done all he could do to correct the errors he’d made. He’d spun out his span to its limits and beyond, stealing himself precious time to sew up the loose ends of his frayed existence. Mother’s little Ronnie had always been tidy: a paragon of neatness. That was one of the reasons he’d enjoyed accountancy. The pursuit of a few misplaced pence through hundreds of figures was a game he relished; and how satisfying, at the end of the day, to balance the books. Unfortunately life was not so perfectible, as now, too late in the day, he realized. Still, he’d done his best, and that, as Mother used to say, was all anybody could hope to do. There was nothing left but to confess, and having confessed, go to his Judgement empty-handed and contrite. As he sat, draped over the use-shined seat in the Confessional Box of St Mary Magdalene’s, he fretted that the shape of his usurped body would not hold out long enough for him to unburden himself of all the sins that languished in his linen heart. He concentrated, trying to keep body and soul together for these last, vital few minutes.
Soon Father Rooney would come. He would sit behind the lattice-divide of the Confessional and offer words of consolation, of understanding, of forgiveness; then, in the remaining minutes of his stolen existence, Ronnie Glass would tell his story.
He would begin by denying that most terrible stain on his character: the accusation of pornographer.