“I need the Bureau’s help with analysis of some feathers.”
“No problem. I’ll call Downey.”
“I need to talk,” I said with great reluctance, for I knew I was putting him on the spot. “I don’t feel it can wait.”
“Hold on.”
This time the pause was not due to static. He was conferring with his wife.
“Do you ski?” His voice came back.
“It depends on who you ask.”
“Connie and I are on our way to the Homestead for a couple of days. We could talk there. Can you get away?”
“I’ll move heaven and earth to, and I’ll bring Lucy.”
“That’s good. She and, Connie can pal around while you and I talk. I’ll see about your room when we check in. Can you bring something for me to look at?”
“Yes.”
“Including whatever you’ve got on the Robyn Naismith case. Let’s cover every base and every imagined one.”
“Thank you, Benton,” I said gratefully. “And please thank Connie.”
I decided to leave the office immediately, and offered little explanation.
“It will be good for you,” Rose said, jotting down the Homestead’s number. She did not understand that my intention was not to unwind at a five-star resort. For an instant, her eyes were bright with tears as I told her to let Marino know where I was so he could contact me immediately if there were any new developments in Susan’s case.
“Please don’t release my whereabouts to anyone else,” I added.
“Three reporters have called in the last twenty minutes,” she said. “Including the Washington Post.”
“I’m not discussing Susan’s case right now. Tell them the usual, that we’re waiting on lab results. Just tell them I’m out of town and unavailable.”
I was haunted by images as I drove west toward the mountains. I pictured Susan in her baggy scrubs, and the faces of her mother and father as Marino told them their daughter was dead.
“Are you feeling okay?”
Lucy asked. She had been looking at me every other minute since we left my house.
“I’m just preoccupied,” I replied, concentrating on the toad. “You’re going to love skiing. I have a feeling you’ll be good at it.”
She silently gazed out the windshield. The sky was a washed-out denim blue, mountains rising in the distance dusted with snow.
“I’m sorry about this,” I added. “It seems that every time you visit, something happens and I can’t give you my full attention.”
“I don’t need your full attention.”
“Someday you’ll understand.”
“Maybe I’m the same way about my work. In fact, maybe I learned from you. I’ll probably be successful like you, too.”
My spirit felt as heavy as lead. I was grateful that I was wearing sunglasses. I did not want Lucy to see my eyes.
“I know you love me. That’s what counts. I know my mother doesn’t love me,” my niece said.
“Dorothy loves you as much as she is able to love anyone.”
“You’re absolutely right. As much as she is able to, which isn’t much because I’m not a man. She only loves men.”
“No, Lucy. Your mother doesn’t really love men. They are a symptom of her obsessive quest of finding somebody who will make her whole. She doesn’t understand that she has to make herself whole.”
“The only thing ‘whole’ in the equation is she picks assholes every time.”
“I agree that her batting average hasn’t been good.”
“I’m not going to live like that. I don’t want to be anything like her.”
“You aren’t,” I said.
“I read in the brochure they have skeet shooting where we’re going.”
“They have all sorts of things.”
“Did you bring one of the revolvers?”
“You don’t shoot skeet with a revolver, Lucy.”
“You do if you’re from Miami.”
“If you don’t stop yawning, you’re going to get me started.”
“Why didn’t you bring a gun?” she persisted.
The Ruger was in my suitcase, but I did not intend to tell her that. “Why are you so worried about whether I brought a gun?”
I asked: “I want to be good at it. So good I can shoot the twelve off the dock every time I try,” she said sleepily.