little warmth—whenever possible I avoided using the old iron stove that so easily blew up. I preferred to lie there wrapped in an old warm coat and covered by the
various skins I had bought from the peasants over a period of time. “You’re often sick,” they said to me. “You’re a sickly person. You won’t leave this place alive.”
They did not say this to depress me, but rather strove straightforwardly to speak the truth whenever possible. Their eyes usually goggled peculiarly at such times.
Once a month, but always on a different day of the month, an inspector came to examine my record book, to collect the money I had taken in and—but not always—to
pay me my salary. I was always warned of his arrival a day in advance by the people who had dropped him at the last station. They considered this warning the
greatest favor they could do me in spite of the fact that I naturally always had everything in good order. Nor was the slightest effort needed for this. And the inspector
too always came into the station with an air as if to say, this time I shall unquestionably uncover the evidence of your mismanagement. He always opened the door of
the hut with a push of his knee, giving me a look at the same time. Hardly had he opened my book when he found a mistake. It took me a long time to prove to him, by
recomputing it before his eyes, that the mistake had been made not by me but by him. He was always dissatisfied with the amount I had taken in, then clapped his hand
on the book and gave me a sharp look again. “We’ll have to shut down the railway,” he would say each time. “It will come to that,” I usually replied.
After the inspection had been concluded, our relationship would change. I always had brandy ready and, whenever possible, some sort of delicacy. We drank to each
other; he sang in a tolerable voice, but always the same two songs. One was sad and began: “Where are you going, O child in the forest?” The other was gay and
began like this: “Merry comrades, I am yours!”—It depended on the mood I was able to put him in, how large an installment I got on my salary. But it was only at the
beginning of these entertainments that I watched him with any purpose in mind; later we were quite at one, cursed the company shamelessly, he whispered secret
promises into my ear about the career he would help me to achieve, and finally we fell together on the bunk in an embrace that often lasted ten hours unbroken. The
next morning he went on his way, again my superior. I stood beside the train and saluted; often as not he turned to me while getting aboard and said, “Well, my little
friend, we’ll meet again in a month. You know what you have at stake.” I can still see the bloated face he turned to me with an effort, every feature in his face stood
prominently forth, cheeks, nose, lips.
This was the one great diversion during the month when I let myself go; if inadvertently some brandy had been left over, I guzzled it down immediately after the
inspector left. I could generally hear the parting whistle of the train while it gurgled into me. The thirst that followed a night of this sort was terrible; it was as if another
person were within me, sticking his head and throat out of my mouth and screaming for something to drink. The inspector was provided for, he always carried a large
supply of liquor on his train; but I had to depend on whatever was left over.
But then the whole month thereafter I did not drink, did not smoke either; I did my work and wanted nothing more. There was, as I have said, not very much to do, but
what there was I did thoroughly. It was my duty every day, for instance, to clean and inspect the track a kilometer on either side of the station. But I did not limit