Elias said, “We could very well both wind up with our heads on silver platters. As happened to me once before. What has
222 Philip K. Dick The Divine Invasion
happened is that Belial is out of his cage, the cage Zina put him in; he is unchained. He is released onto this world. But what I say to you is, ‘Oh ye of little faith!’ But everything that can be said has been said centuries ago. I will concede Linda Fox a small amount of air time on our station. You can tell her that. She may sing whatever she wishes.”
“I’m hanging up,” Herb Asher said. “I have to call her and tell her I’m not coming out to the West Coast for a while. I don’t wafft her involved in my troubles. I-”
“I’ll talk to you later,” Elias said. “But I suggest you call Rybys; when I last saw her she was crying. She thinks she may have a pyloric ulcer. And it may be malignant.”
“Pyloric ulcers aren’t malignant,” Herb Asher said. “This is where I came in, hearing that Rybys Rommey is sitting around crying over her illness; this is what got me involved. She is ill for illness’s sake, for its own sake. I thought I was going to escape from this, finally. I’ll call Linda Fox first.” He hung up the fone.
Christ, he thought. All I want to do is fly to California and begin my happy life. But the macrocosm has swallowed me and my happy life up. Where is Elias going to get thirty million dol- lars? Not by selling our store and inventory. God probably gave him a bar of gold or will rain down bits of gold, flakes of gold, on him like that manna in the wilderness that kept the ancient Jews alive. As Elias says, everything was said centuries ago and every- thing happened centuries ago. My life with the Fox would have been new. And here I am once more subjected to sappy, soupy string music which will soon give way to gospel songs.
He dialed Linda Fox’s private number, that of her home in Sherman Oaks. And got a recording. Her face appeared on the little fone screen, but it was a mechanical and distorted face; and, he saw, her skin was broken out and her features seemed pudgy, almost fat. Shocked, he said, “No, I don’t want to leave a mes- sage. I’ll call back.” He hung up without identifying himself. Probably she’ll call me in a while, he decided. When I don’t show up. After all, she is expecting me. But how strange she looked. Maybe it’s an old recording. I hope so.
To calm himself he turned on one of the audio systems there at the store; he used a reliable preamp component that involved an audio hologram. The station he selected was a classical music station, one he enjoyed. But- Only a voice issued from the transducers of the system. No music. A whispering voice almost inaudible; he could barely un- derstand the words. What the hell is this? he asked himself. What is it saying? “… weary,” the voice whispered in its dry, slithery tone.
… “… and afraid. There is no possibility . .. weighed down. Born to lose; you are born to lose. You are no good.”
And then the sound of an ancient classic: Linda Ronstadt’ s “You’re No Good.” Over and over again Ronstadt repeated the words; they seemed to go on forever. Monotonous, hypnotic; fascinated, he stood listening. The hell with this, he decided fi- nally. He shut down the system. But the words continued to circulate and recirculate in his brain. You are worthless, his thoughts came. You are a worthless person. Jesus! he thought. This is far worse than the sappy, soupy all-strings easy-listening garbage; this is lethal.
He foned his home. After a long pause Rybys answered. “I thought you were in California,” she murmured. “You woke me up. Do you realize what time it is?”
“I had to turn back,” he said. “I’m wanted by the police.”
Rybys said, “I’m going back to sleep.” The screen darkened; its light went out and he found himself facing nothing, confronted by nothingness.
They are all asleep or on tape, he thought. And when you manage to get them to say something they tell you you’re no good. The domain of Belial insinuates the paucity of value in everything. Great. Just what we need. The only bright spot was the cop asking me to pray for him. Even Elias is acting erratically, suggesting that we buy an FM radio station for thirty million dollars so that we can tell people-well, whatever he’s going to tell people. On a par with selling them a home audio system and baptizing them as a bonus. Like giving them a free stuffed animal.
Animal, he thought. Belial is an animal; it was an animal voice that I heard on the radio just now. Lower than human, not
224 Philip K. Dick
greater. Animal is the worst sense: subhuman and gross. He shiv- ered. And meanwhile Rybys sleeps, dreaming of malignancy. Her perpetual cloud of illness, whether she is conscious or not; it is always with her, always there. She is her own pathogen, infecting herself.
He shut off the lights, left the store, locked up the front door and made his way to his parked car, wondering to himself where to go. Back to his ailing, complaining wife? To California and the mechanical, pudgy image he had seen on the fone screen?
On the sidewalk, near his parked car, something small moved. Something that hesitantly retreated from him, as if in fear. An animal, larger than a cat. Yet it didn’t seem to be a dog.
Herb Asher halted, bent down, holding out his hand. The animal came uncertainly toward him, and then all at once he heard its thoughts in his mind. It was communicating with him telepathically. I am from the planet in the CY3O-CY3OB star sys- tem, it thought to him. I am one of the autochthonic goats that in former times was sacrificed to Yah.
Staggered, he said, “What are you doing here?” Something was wrong; this was impossible.
Help me, the goat-creature thought. I followed you here; I traveled after you to Earth.
“You’re lying,” he said, but he opened his car and got out his flashlight; bending down he turned the yellow light on the animal.
Indeed he had a goat before him, and not a very large one; and yet it could not be an ordinary Terran goat-he could discern the difference.
Please take me in and care for me, the goat-creature thought to him. I am lost. I have strayed away from my mother.
“Sure,” Herb Asher said. He reached out and the goat came hesitantly toward him. What a strange little wizened face, and such sharp little hooves. Just a baby, he thought; see how it trembles. It must be starving. Out here it’ll get run over.
Thank you, the goat-creature thought to him.
“I’ll take care of you,” Herb Asher said.
The goat-creature thought, I am afraid of Yah. Yah is terrible in his wrath.
Thoughts of fire, and the cutting of the goat’s throat. Herb Asher shivered. The primal sacrifice, that of an innocent animal. To quell the anger of the deity.
“You’re safe with me.” he said, and picked up the goat- creature. Its view of Yah shocked him; he envisioned Yah, now, as the goat-creature did, and it was a dreadful entity, this vast and angry mountain deity who demanded the sacrifice of tiny lives.
Will you save me from Yah? the goat-creature quavered; its thoughts were limpid with apprehension.
“Of course I will,” Herb Asher said. And he tenderly placed the goat-creature in the back of his car.
You won’t tell Yah where I am, will you? the goat-creature begged.
“I swear,” Herb Asher said.
Thank you, the goat-creature thought, and Herb Asher felt its joy. And, strangely, its sense of triumph. He wondered about that as he got in behind the wheel and started up the engine. Is this some kind of a victory for it? he asked himself.
I am merely glad to be safe, the goat-creature explained. And to have found a protector. Here on this planet where there is so much death.
Death, Herb Asher thought. It fears death as I fear death; it is a living organism like me. Even though in many ways it is quite different from me.
The goat-creature thought to him, I have been abused by chil- dren. Two children, a boy and a girl.
Picture, then, in Herb Asher’s mind: a cruel pair of children, with savage faces and hostile, blazing eyes. This boy and girl had tormented the goat-creature and it was terrified of falling back into their hands once more.
“That will never happen,” Herb Asher said. “I promise. Chil- dren can be dreadfully cruel to animals.”